Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Old Habits

I didn't plan it.

Yes, I'm very aware of my weight, and yes, I've been trying to lose about 30 pounds pretty much since J was born, but it was not a conscious decision I made.

But I've noticed it now. I can't go on pretending that oops, I just didn't have time to eat breakfast and oops, I forgot my lunch and oops, I have to run out at dinner time.

I was anorexic for about five years growing up. As an adult I used to joke, "What I wouldn't give for that kind of willpower now!" It was simpler then, just an easier way to lose weight: don't eat. But not the healthiest. And, of course, it wasn't all about weight - it was about control.

Hmmm...could I be feeling a little out of control recently? Time to take control again - let's go get some lunch!


M said...

Good job recognizing it and doing something NOW before it's into dangerous territory! And admitting it to people is huge! I'm super proud of you!

I always struggle during the holidays. The pressure to look great. The food to eateateat. The things to do so it's easy to ignore eating (or count coffee as a meal). The stress making me want to throw up therefore I can blame it on THAT not the reality.

Unfortunately I so feel you.

So hop to lunch. Hope to breakfast. I think this year is going to be the year I overcome this battle (so easy, right? Let's revise that into saying hit back into therapy and actually ADDRESS it instead of everything else!)

Big hugs. I know I made this somewhat about me but thank you for making me take a step back and think about how I've been treating my body and WHY.

Cel said...
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Tried Everything said...

It is so hard to stay focused on diets. I hear you.