Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Wishing and Hoping and Praying and Thinking . . .

I wish I remembered to bring my coat with me tonight.

I wish I had actually brought the mini powdered donuts TO the fabulous spaghetti dinner I just got back from, a get together of lots of Philly Bloggers like Bossy and DG and MemeGRL and her and them and . . . lots more but I'm too tired to link to them all, hosted by Lora. But instead I ended up eating most of them myself on the way there and on the way back.

I wish our trip tomorrow to Maryland was actually a vacation, and not because we finally got a neurologist at Johns Hopkins to see DH.

I wish we could have afforded to take the train tomorrow.

I wish that DH was feeling well enough that we could walk around the Inner Harbor if/when he is not seeing doctors.

I wish the house would magically clean itself.

I wish the house would magically clean itself. No, that's not an accidental repeat, I just really, really, really wish this one would happen.

I wish my boys weren't having trouble at school.

I wish I could figure out how to divide my focus between all thre kids and their various issues/needs, DH's major medical crap that has been going on since July, work, our finances and trying to figure out how we can afford everything when we both have used up all our sick days (thus don't get paid for every day we don't work anymore, including Thursday and Friday when we're at Hopkins) and still have to pay for the hotel and food and whatever else while we're there, the house, and . . . what did I forget? Oh yeah - my sanity!

I wish DH's health crisis never started.

I wish that any one of the many, many doctors came up with a reason this keeps happening.

I wish any of the many, many, many tests that DH has now undergone have given any indication of why this keeps happening.

I wish DH's health crisis did not escalate to where he is now in constant significant pain in his head and left arm and must use a cane all the time because his left leg gives out with every step - and it's been like this for over a month straight.

I wish I could blink my eyes and just make everything stop for a week - a full week where I didn't have to do anything, didn't have to be anywhere, didn't have to talk to or be responsible for anyone, a week where I could sleep as late as I wanted and escape into cheesy romance novels, one after the other, without even leaving my bed.

I pray that the doctors at Johns Hopkins will look at DH and KNOW what is going on. I pray that this trip will result in answers and help. I pray that someone has finally put a new bulb in to that light at the end of the tunnel and someone else has figured out how to finally flip the switch and that sucker is staying on for good!


Lora said...

It was so good to meet you last night, and thank you for being so wonderful to my son, who thought you were the best.
I'll be thinking of you today through all this JH stuff, and I hope you find a few answers by sundown.

RuthWells said...

Wishing and hoping right there with you, sweetie. Lots of good thoughts coming your way for a transformative trip to Johns Hopkins.

pkzcass said...

I am wishing and hoping and praying and thinking of you and your DH. Please let us know the outcome. Maybe, by some miracle, he'll feel well enough tomorrow to walk around the Inner Harbor anyway...

BOSSY said...

Bossy will be thinking about you and DH and wishing you all the best.

Lori said...

It was great to meet you and my thoughts are with you, wishing the best.

Lisa said...

I wish I could come and clean your house for you. Hope things get better!