Independent and It Feels So Good

We are teaching the boys some independence and it's wonderful!

This morning the kids all came in to our room to lay in bed with us for a little. DH leaves so early in the morning during the week and didn't get back last night until after they were all asleep so they ended up not seeing him at all Friday - they were THRILLED to see him in bed!

After cuddling together for about fifteen minutes, we sent them downstairs. On the weekend they are allowed to have "picnic breakfasts" which means they can stay in their pjs and watch tv while they eat breakfast. It was my turn to get up with them and help them with breakfast and dressing, but this morning I stayed in bed with DH and we got to actually talk. A got the tivo remote and put on a show for everyone to watch and they were content to do that for about half an hour (sweet!) which gave me extra time in bed. We quickly got up when J ratted out her brother about putting a waffle in the toaster oven by himself, but when I came downstairs I discovered that he had set it all up perfectly and safely. We were so impressed! DH and I decided to give both boys lessons on how to use the toaster on their own and supervised as A took his waffle out and B put his in (of course they HAD to both do it on their own). What a blessing it will be to somewhat sleep in on Saturdays now and send them down to watch tv and get breakfast on their own.

A few of you sent me e-mails asking more about A (you know, you guys COULD all leave COMMENTS on the blog!) so let me tell you what's going on. At home A is having a really hard time following verbal commands, becoming distracted by anything in writing around him. He has also regressed with using the potty at home, yesterday having three accidents between 2 and 6. The boys are in school for less than three hours. Within those three hours A was pulled out to see THREE specialists (OT, Speech, and Guidance). That seems like a LOT for one day. He is aware that he is missing stuff in his classroom, especially when B tells us about something he did in class, and A is getting quite upset about that. And then when B was pulled yesterday to do a mini friendship group, A was beside himself that he didn't get to go with him, even though he was going at the same time to see his Asperger's teacher. AARGH! His assistant wrote on his communication sheet that at library he broke away from the group and began pushing buttons on the computer. Hello! Like this is a big surprise? I warned you this would happen - he has no impulse control when it comes to computers! He's been flipping out in class (freaking out the other kids) when he does not get to play on the classroom computers for center time. I am trying to piece together what his specialist schedule is so I can have a better sense of who he's seeing and when. It's so different from last year when I actually SAW the specialists each day and got to hear how he was doing directly from them and tell them about any problems he's having. I know it's all doable; I know right now he's really ahead academically so it's okay for him to miss the classroom stuff; I know I have to contact all of these specialists if I'm concerned. I just have to stay on top of it all. Sure, no problem.

And some of you contacted me to find out about my ankle. Right now, right this second, it feels okay. Teaching two year olds all morning did NOT make it feel good, and staying on my feet for another two hours teaching my Shabbat parent and me group didn't help. By the time I left the synagogue yesterday I was not smiling at all, and for those of you who know me in real life know, it takes a lot for me to break that facade. I know I have to rest it and ice it whenever I can, but that's kind of tough to do with three young kids!

A friend of mine is throwing a yard sale today to raise money for a charity that directly affects her family, so I'm taking the kids to that. Other than that, I'm hoping I can get them to play nicely outside for a lot of the day so I can clean and catch up. I was able to do some stuff around the house on Thursday since J and I had off from school, but my ankle was throbbing so bad by the time I got home yesterday I couldn't do any more.

I think I'll let the kids watch one more show and I'll take a little nap (yep, still tired, nope don't have the results from my sleep study yet). Then we'll all get dressed and head to the yard sale.

Positive thinking

I've decided that I need to focus more on the positive. Here goes:

Yesterday was my sleep study. I stayed overnight and then had to stay all the next day. I got to sleep through the night with no one waking me up because they're hungry, they want to get up, or just because. I only woke myself up a few times, which is normal for me. I was able to watch cable tv - a luxery for me since we only have very basic cable here - and read an entire book, and the nurses there got my breakfast and lunch for me from a nearby restaurant. PLUS I was forced (such a hardship) to take a nap every two hours. VERY nice. I had NO problem falling asleep every time, though each time they woke me, I wanted to go back to sleep right away. I stayed very tired all day, which is not unusual for me, and it made it easy to do what they wanted (ie. sleep).

Focusing on the positive. Okay.

J is very decisive. This morning, after dressing herself in her favorite pink dress that just happens to have a hood, she told me, "I don't want to wear a hood that has a dress." She had to repeat it a couple time before I understood what she was saying (I was tired!) but I finally reversed her sentence and repeated to her, "You don't want to wear a dress that has a hood?" Never mind that she had selected said dress last night - she took it off and picked out a new one to wear.

A is very affectionate. He kisses me all the time. All the time. On my arms, my legs, my cheeks, my neck, sometimes licking . . . focus on the positive, right, ummm....I'm so glad he can show his affection, and responds appropriately when I ask him to stop.

B is equally affectionate, but shows it in a different way. He tells us he loves us. Often. Sometimes every two minutes. I'm glad that he can verbally express his feelings, and only slightly disturbed that he feels he needs to say it so often. Okay, maybe a little more than slightly disturbed considering our family history of OCD. I finally filled out his paperwork to be evaluated by the district and I welcome their findings!

My ankle is down to a dull ache.

The long summer months of me not receiving any paychecks has ended and we are beginning to loosen the purse strings a little bit. I was going to say loosen the belt straps, but since we all know I didn't lose ANY weight this summer, that seems kind of silly.

Today is the first day of Sukkot. Since I teach at a Jewish school which J attends, it means that J and I have the day off. Woohoo!

Right now, right this second, I do not feel like I need to take a nap.

I had a playdate scheduled for today at my house but cancelled it (only affected one other mom) because I was tired and feeling a little behind the eight ball after being off my feet all week. [Side note: Last time B was at the ER, the doctor used that expression with him. He responded, "Besides, I don't even know HOW to play Eight Ball." My oh-so-literal child.]

Since I have some energy right now, I'm going upstairs to sort the laundry and put in a load, than into the living room to pick up all the cr*p that the house has thrown up all over itself. I was quite happy to come home yesterday afternoon to find that house trashed and DH exhausted, complaining about the kids and his long day. He has been giving me SUCH a hard time every day that he comes home and the house is not picked up. I'm so glad that when I came home yesterday the house was not picked up either. It's not so easy when you're in charge of the kids all afternoon, and he didn't have to teach from 9-12 as well!

Okay, that's enough positive thinking. Time to pull some clothes from Mt. Washmore and start washing them.

Ouch

I fell Saturday night leaving my parents' house after Yom Kippor's break the fast dinner. My ankle just gave out from under me and I went down hard. It hurt so much that I thought I had broken it, and had pictures of myself having to crawl back inside to get help. Luckily my sister was still in the driveway and saw me go down. I was able to put weight on it and walk to my car with DS' help, though driving didn't feel that great. I got it x-rayed today and it's not broken. I didn't think it was since I could put weight on it, though as so many people told me the lovely story of how they had fallen and twisted their ankle and they hadn't thought it was broken so they were walking around on it for so long and then they found out that it actually WAS broken. Nice stories. In any case, it's uncomfortable enough that I actually found a sub for school tomorrow for myself, something I avoid doing at all costs.

Tomorrow night is my sleep study. Cannot wait.

A has regressed at home a lot now that he has to focus during the morning at kindergarten. Last week he pooped in his nighttime pull-up four different times, all while trying to fall asleep. And he's peed twice while on the computer at home (luckily not at school). The hardest is that A cannot leave the poop in his pull-up, so he ends up making a great big mess.

I'm tired.

This ankle better feel better if I rest it a lot tomorrow and Wednesday! I'm sick of this!!

Where I've Been

School has started.
It's extremely satisfying to be teaching again, to have my own classroom.
It's extremely tiring to teach all morning and then immediately be in charge of my own children.
I'm loving it, but it's been tough.
And that's all I have to say for now.

Random Thoughts

It's been awhile, so here are random thoughts and comments:



* I just bought some new make-up, and really like the results when I tried them that first morning. I went downstairs and asked the kids how they liked it.



B: Wow, Mommy, you look beautiful!

M: Thank you, B.

B: Is that make-up magic?



Gee, what a back-handed compliment!

Check!

So, what did I do yesterday?

Made a big vat of spaghetti sauce? Check!

Made three batches of baked ziti to freeze for future meals? Check!

Made a big pot roast in the crock pot for yesterday's dinner and for a stir fry later this month? Check!

Cut up the veggies for said stir fry, stuck them in a freezer bag, and put them with the meat and the sauce for when I make that meal? Check!

Made a black bean and corn soup for me to have for lunch this week? Check!

Spent three + hours at the ER with B only to find out that the high fever that has lasted now for three days was due to an ear infection and the trouble he had breathing could be fixed (as usual) with an oral steroid? Check, check, and check!

On the plus side, my freezer is now stocked with four meals and B was given the okay to go to his first day of kindergarten today. I hear him coughing upstairs now, so I'll be giving him his medicine (ALWAYS a joy - NOT!!!) and his nebulizer treatment before he eats breakfast. I can't wait to see the off for their first day!

They Look Sick, Don't They?

This is what two of my "sickies" were

doing while I was writing my last post

about how sick they were!!!

Sunday Sickies

Beth, I'm sorry. I know you worry when I don't post. It's been a crazy kind of week; I'll try to do better.

J spiked a fever Thursday. I had a babysitter here the whole day so I could prep some for the big BBQ we were hosting on Saturday and finish up lots of stuff in my classroom. J was fine all day. We went to my sister's to see her new furniture in the afternoon.

Sidenote: We had been told that it was highly unlikely we would be able to get pregnant on our own since it had taken us five years and lots of fertility treatments to conceive the boys AND when they did emergency surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy when I was seven weeks pregnant with the boys (yes, everything the hard way, that's me) they discovered I had stage 4 endometriosis, which would make it very difficult to ever get pregnant again unless treated.

When I was late a month after I had stopped nursing the boys, we didn't think much of it, chalking it up to the change in hormones that my body was going through. But when I was more than a week late, we laughingly bought a pregnancy test just to rule out the possibility. That weekend we had splurged on a decorator who would redo our bedroom, painting, buying curtains, bedspreads, bed frame, etc. While they were working in the room, I went into the bathroom, peed on the stick, set it aside, and began brushing my teeth. I began choking on the toothpaste suds in my mouth when I glanced down and saw two dark lines indicating a pregnancy. I spit out, a smile instantly forming on my face even though the shock prevented me from feeling the steps as I walked downstairs to tell DH.

Since the bedroom was completed that night, I had the perfect excuse to have my sister come over so I could tell her the HUGE news. I called her later, raving about the new furniture and the way the bedroom looked, insisting that she come over immediately to see it. As she looked around the room, admiring the walls and the curtains, I kept trying to draw her attention to the bedspread where I had placed the positive pregnancy test. I finally had to be very insistant about checking out this very spot on the bed, but I knew that she had seen it once her whole body froze and her mouth dropped open. It was a very satisfying way to spread the news.

Fast forward to this past Thursday. DS had bought new furniture for her living room and had called up for me to bring the kids over to check it out. She was so excited about it she was practically begging for us to come over. Knowing our history, I don't think any of you can be surprised what was in the back of my mind the whole time I was looking around her new living room. I ultimately turned to her and asked if she was positive there wasn't anything else she was trying to tell me here. She looked at me blankly for a few moments and then quickly began reassuring me that no, she was not pregnant.

In any case, after the kids had played for about an hour, J visibly began fading, first sitting at the table playing, then sitting at the table staring off into space, then laying on one of the new couches clearly in her own world. DS picked her up only to exclaim how hot she was. We took her temperature only to discover that it had spiked from normal to 103 that fast. We took her to the doctor that afternoon since she'd had a cold for over a week. Cold + fever normally = ear infection. Not this time.

We put her to bed early, though she was up several times that night. During the day on Friday we decided that we shouldn't risk it and cancelled the BBQ. We were all really bummed to do that. It turned out to be a good choice since that night B developed his own high fever. His stomach hurt a lot too. A came back that afternoon from an outing with Grandpop only to have his own problems with his stomach. J had stomach issues later that day too.

So today, while the kids are all doing MUCH better, we decided to keep them all quiet for one more day. It would really suck if any of them were sick on Tuesday, the boys' first day of kindergarten.

Edited to add: For the record, I am not pregnant. One of my cousins read this post and interpreted my story about finding out I was pregnant with J and telling my sister to mean that I just found out I was pregnant again NOW. I love all three of my children, but really really really feel I have all I can handle. Besides, if I were to get pregnant now, well...let's just say that would be an amazing feat and we would have to have a serious talk with a certain urologist who did a certain procedure after a certain little girl was born. Enough said.