Depression is just kicking my butt.
It's such a Catch-22: I don't do well with time on my hands. I find I typically don't get done what I had planned to get done, instead escaping in a book or sleeping. It's really hard to get the energy to fight through the veil that depression pulls me down with, even harder when I'm by myself. So I keep myself busy. And in doing that, I end up getting overwhelmed by the stuff around the house that I don't get to and all tha I have to do. I can't seem to find a happy medium.
And so. I have written a very detailed to do list for today (at my new favorite site: www.tadalists.com) and will keep the computer open to my list. I really need to push myself today because I once again did not go to bed when I should have and am extra tired today. I think if I allowed myself I could go back to bed and sleep all day. Real productive, right? The state of the house is driving me crazy, so I know I'll feel so much better if I tackle it.
I just want to get to the point where I'm NOT playing constant catch-up. How do I get ahead? I know my Flylady friends would say "babysteps" but I want instant results.
I checked out another website yesterday called Messies Anonymous and they suggested if the house was REALLY bad (which mine is not) you should buy six white cardboard storage boxes and go through each room picking up everything and putting it in one of the boxes (marked Papers, etc.). At least then everything would be out of sight. Then you can tackle one box at a time. I've tried variations of this, but don't usually end up getting to the box or basket for a long, long time so I end up with baskets of clutter just sitting around for weeks and weeks. But what if I could do this and actually tackle them in a timely manner? Heck, what if I could do this once and then not need to do it again?!
Alright enough complaining. Boy, you guys who do read my bog regularly must be so sick of hearing about it: I'm depressed, blah, blah, blah, I can't get my butt in gear, blah, blah, blah, I don't have my eating under control, blah, blah, blah, my house is a mess, blah, blah, blah. I'm sick of thinking it - you must be sick of reading it. It would be so much easier to just say forget about it all and just escape in some way (reading, sleeping, etc.) but clearly I can't do that.
So here we go, fighting through another day.