My son is amazing. And he has Asperger's.
Don't gasp and gape when I have to restrain him in the library to get him to move away from the computers and he melts down, flapping his hands and sobbing as if his world has come to an end. I have lots of techniques to bring him back; I'm sorry for the noise, but it will be over soon.
Don't tell me he needs a spanking; that's really not going to make a difference.
Don't dimiss his problems, telling me that your kid does the same thing. Your child may do one or two of the same things, but if he truly did all of the same things then you should bring him to a developmental pediatrician or two, just like we did.
Don't avert your eyes when I am struggling to change a messy diaper and he is using all of five-year-old strength to push me away; ask if you can help! Getting kicked and punched by a child trying keep me from touching his diaper rash really hurts.
Don't laugh when he comes up to you the first time he meets you, giving you a hug and telling you he loves you. Don't allow him to touch you inappropriately. He does crave physical contact and it is cute, for now, but we're trying to teach him how to greet people he is just meeting properly. What's cute now may be a little scary when he is ten.
Don't tell me just to relax when we visit your house and I begin to shadow my son. I've personally seen him reprogram phones and remotes, order things off the internet, break pieces of electronics in his enthusiasm to push all the buttons at once. He needs me, for now, to help him remember what is off-limits.
My son has Asperger's. Don't offer me sympathy when I tell you this. It is only one aspect of his personality. Acknowledge his incredible reading ability, marvel at his musical performances, smile at his friendliness.
My son has Asperger's. And he is amazing.