So last night I asked my DH to read my last two posts, thinking that once he read how I've been feeling we could sit down and figure out together some strategies to make it better. It didn't quite work out that way.
I need to set the record straight.
I have a great husband. He is an amazing father. And when I write about all I have to do and how overwhelmed and frustrated I am, it implies that he has been doing nothing, which was NEVER my intention.
We have taken the time to write down all the jobs that need to get done around the house and worked on dividing them up in a way that make sense to us. Recently we readjusted the list so my DH could do a few more little things that would make a big difference in my day, things like filling up the kids "rocket cups" (cups with a lid and straw) with milk and being sure to unload the dishwasher before he leaves for school each day. It might sound small, but that makes a big difference in my day.
When he is home, he willingly takes over with the kids in a really hands-on kind of way, playing board games and hundreds of turns of hide and seek, reading books, doing all kinds of great things with them. His schedule is MUCH better than it was for the first half of the year. He has rehearsals for the show he is directing after school three times a week, so on those days he is home by 5:30. He has evening rehearsals for the show he is in three nights a week (Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday). We agreed that he could be in a show this season (just one) and while he is pushing me to try to get in a show so I get a chance to perform when his show is over, but I don't think I should take on one more thing at this point in my life.
When he is home, he helps me with any chores that I have not finished for the day. The other night when I was writing that I had to clean up the eggs and the rest of dinner, DH came home before I finished this task so he jumped right in to help me clean it all up.
When he read what I had written, he felt that it was implying that he did NOTHING here. He read the comments and was so upset that people he knew would read this and feel the same way. I never intended for him to read it that way, or for anyone else to feel that he does nothing. We both have busy schedules; I've just been feeling overwhelmed and used the blog to vent about all I had to do.
On the plus side, I finally made clear to him that the big thing I needed was definite time each week to plan and prep for my classes, at least four hours (and that doesn't mean it has to be four hours straight). So we worked out a way that I could get that! On the days he comes home at 5:30 and does NOT have to go out again, I will leave with the laptop, go where ever I want to go, and plan out my week, my classes, whatever! And at my request, he looked over all that I have to do and my schedule and offered some suggestions on ways that I could accomplish more. They sounded reasonable, so I'm going to be trying them today.
So, bottom line, to my incredible, wonderful husband, who is also my best friend, life partner, and one of the best fathers I know, I love you! I'm so sorry I hurt you, and I so appreciate that we can sit down together and work out ways to make this time in our lives a little easier.