Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I messed up

Today it was brought to my attention that comments I made on here about my classes, even though I did not specifically name any kids, were inappropriate. While I have little specific identifying information on my blog, I do include it in my signature when I send an e-mail. I foolishly had not thought about the fact that people who know me can and will read my blog, and people associated with my synagogue will be able to figure out who the kids that I have written about are. Don't know how I didn't put that together, but I honestly didn't. I have now gone through my blog and took away any reference to any kids in my class - please let me know if you find others that I missed. I am so glad that the director told me about this because I truly hate the idea that anyone had seen this, felt uncomfortable about it, but didn't want to say anything for fear I would take it the wrong way or whatever. I am SO sorry if I offended or made anyone uncomfortable by anything I wrote on my blog. I use this blog as a sounding board, a place to vent. I use it as a place to write down what's happening in my life, good or bad, for me to remember and for anyone who reads it to celebrate with me or offer advice if they have any. I pledge to be more careful in the future when I write about anyone not in my family.

I have always had the desire to make everything better for everyone else, as I'm sure most other people do, but this also tends to make me stick my nose in to everyone's business to attempt to ensure that everyone's needs are being met. Ever since I have learned about A's special needs and the importance of early intervention, I am always on the lookout for any red flags in other kids I see. But I seem to forget that the other professionals I work with are well-educated, incredible teachers who are so on top of things I have no reason to ever be concerned! In fact, I would love to get a chance to just be a fly on the wall in both of their classes so I can soak up all the amazing strategies and techniques they use.

Since I had some time between conferences, the director and I had a chance to chat, which was so nice (Thank You!!!). And because I've been a little (HA!) stressed lately, any talk about the stress I've been feeling quickly became emotional for me - what can I say: I try to always keep a smile on my face at all times . . . until I can't. And when I don't have a smile on my face, you KNOW it's bad!

Money is tight, so I'm looking for as many ways as possible that I can bring in more. But ultimately this means I have very little down time and my brain is constantly going trying to figure out how to make ends meet. It's okay now (don't have to buy groceries with the credit card anymore because we just don't have enough in the checking account at the time), and I've worked out "extra" expenses through the end of the summer (things like putting money aside for the time during the summer when I don't receive paychecks, paying for the kids' two mornings a week camp for this summer, J's school registration for next year, the new oven, new jeans for me - I was down to my last pair and they're ripped in the knee, etc.) Using DH's supplemental pays (for directing the shows, having a student teacher, doing the school newspaper) and mine (for teaching the drama class) and our income tax refund, I worked out how we will be able to pay for everything, but we have to REALLY stick to the budget. I even was able to include $50 a week for the family to use during the summer for entertainment for the 5 full days and 2 half days a week the kids will not be in camp. We will be able to put money towards our credit card debt (created out of necessity last year), thought not as much as I'd hoped. I'm not sure what our refund will be this year. We changed DH's deductions on his payroll info so we would get more money each paycheck instead of such a large refund each year, so I really have no idea what it will be. If it turns out to be more than I expect, the extra will go towards the debt. Once that is paid off, we'll be able to work on building up our emergency fund again. I will feel so much better when we're able to put more money towards that each month!

Okay, that felt good to write down. My nephew is here (the deal I worked out with my sister in exchange for her watching all my guys on Wednesdays so I can teach my drama class, which is five minutes away from her house anyway) and he and J are playing REALLY nicely together. My boys are both laying down on the couch for "quiet time". I better take advantage of this time because who knows when it will happen again! I'm off to fold the laundry, clear off the dining room table, see what else I can check off my to do list before I need to pack up all the kids and drive them to Jessica's at 3.


Domestic Goddess said...

You did NOT do anything wrong, have no need to apologize and DID NOT mess up. These are your personal thoughts on your personal blog. You did not use anyone's name. NO ONE has the right to ask you to take anything down, I hope they didn't. You did not mean to advertise your blog and they shouldn't have said anything. Seriously. If it were my kid? No names used, folks. No harm done. Don't care what you think.
The truth is, the internet makes people hyper. I'm all for being protective of the innocent, but seriously, taking down parts of your post that relate to other children when you didn't even name them? That's going a little too far. You never, ever mentioned their names and you would NEVER have done so. Now you've been censored. That isn't fair.

I'm not trying to be nosy, really. But you should have the right to blog about whatever you want. This is your place to vent.

Now, I'm not in the shoes of the person who brought it to your attention. I know they just feel that they are protecting the people you blogged about. This whole thing just seems silly.

Anonymous said...

I'm exhausted just reading about your life. Keep blogging, and keep on the DH and kids to help. Start playing the lottery too:)

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I have to agree with domestic goddess, I don't think you said anything that was inappropriate given the cloud of smoke you put around the identifying facts.

And now I need a nap. Your post wore me out just reading it!