Tuesday, January 29, 2008

My day

Such a long day. I am starting to get a little stressed with all I need to do. It's tough. I love teaching, we need my income, I love running the household, I love being a mom, I just am having a hard time loving doing it all.

I teach Preschool 5 mornings a week + a preschool program after school on Fridays = 16.5 hours
Hebrew + Religious School 2 times a week = 4.5 hours
I need an hour for each class to prep/clean up = 7 hours
I teach a Drama class 1 time a week = 1 hour + 1 hour travel time (total)
And I need planning time, usually 2 hours for both of my preschool classes = 4 hour
This is a grand total of 34 hours.

I would have needed more time each week planning for all the other classes I teach if I hadn't used so much of my summer planning all of them for the year.

I wish I could say that with all this work I can afford to hire someone to clean the house, but we can't. And I really can't quit any of the jobs because we truly do need the money.

So I stay on top of the laundry, the meals, the bills, the paperwork, the cleaning. Oh yeah, and the kids.

And I can't seem to get my husband to understand that while I totally appreciate that he has a busy, stressful job too, my job starts at 7 AM and keeps going non-stop all day long with no break until he gets home. He doesn't seem to understand that when he has his daily prep period, he doesn't have to also focus on three young children with needs and wants and questions that desparately need to be answered right now, even if I'm sitting on the toilet. I don't get a daily prep period by myself - in the morning I set up my room while making sure J is involved and making sure to respond to her every comment lest she think I'm not talking to her and get hysterical. After school I clean up the room and attempt to set things up for the next day with all three kids in my room, trying to make sure that A does not break the cd player and B is not throwing any soft toys in the air and J is getting a snack because she is starving. When we go home I fix them all lunch and then they have quiet time, during which time I attempt to respond to e-mails and deal with the laundry. Some days I get an hour, some days "quiet time" doesn't really happen, it's just me nagging at them to lay down on the couch.

Like I already said, I love my kids, I love my jobs, I love running the house, but today was a really long day. And I still need to clean up from dinner, sweep the floor of the scrambled eggs that spilled there when the kids ate their dinner so our furry critters hopefully won't make themselves known tonight, wash up and go to bed. My back and neck are KILLING me because I'm so overdue for a chiropractor appointment it's crazy, I have conferences with all my preschool parents tomorrow, I need to have a serious talk with the Education Director at my school about a situation that has been happening a lot at Hebrew School, I need to apologize to a colleague because today I tried speaking to her as teacher about a child in her class and made her uncomfortable (I tried bringing up some behaviors I've observed that were red flags to me and wanted to know if they had looked into a possible cause and she told me that she wasn't comfortable talking to me about this. I'm so used to working with a team of teachers where we all share ideas about each child to best meet the needs of each child, so her reaction really blew me away. But I'll respect her personal privacy policy even if I don't understand it.), I need to go through a big pile of paperwork here at home, I need to order my new oven, I need to . . . it's giving me a headache.


I know, I don't post in a week and LOOK what happens.

And I know that I just wrote about this over a week ago, but it's very much on my mind right now.

There's just so much to do and I can't figure out how to do it all and I'm getting frustrated and overwhelmed.

Okay, that being said, let me go clean up and get to bed. No amount of worrying or complaining is going to make a difference, and getting a full night's sleep is extremely important in helping me cope.


Anonymous said...

You need to ask/tell your DH to contribute. I don't hear any of him in the egg clean up, etc. Where is he? Could you try having him be in charge of the kids from 4 pm - 6pm, 2-3 days a week, that may give you (4-6hrs) that you could use to prep. As far as the household chores divide and conquer DH has jobs, you have jobs, and the kids have jobs. It is a family home, the family needs to take part. YOU CAN"T DO EVERYTHING. You're setting yourself up for failure. Good luck:)

O said...

Oh, Rachel, hang in there.
Even your heart is working extra!
The two-working-parents thing is so tough, isn't it? And it is hard to make recalcitrant spouses figure out that the 2nd shift at home is theirs too...if you get any great brainstorms on that, please share.
And I'm with you on the other teacher...good for you for speaking up. It takes a village, even (especially) in a school.

Lucy T said...

Hey Rachel! Hugs! That's nice you want to apologize to her. Maybe that will give her a chance to explain more why she felt uncomfortable. As far as the busy schedule goes, I have no answers to offer but your blog name sure is a misnomer now! Whew!
BTW what did the doc say about your heart?

Domestic Goddess said...

Wow. Sounds crazy. And there is nothing you can cut out.

You'll get through it. Just keep working on the husband. I find I now have to leave lists for mine when I tutor at night (the lists have Bug Boy's name on it, but you know who it is REALLY for).

Cel said...

I thought DH was going to help out after holiday stuff at his school was done????? Rachel, you CANT keep up this way. He really needs to do more-even if its just spending time with his OWN kids when he's off of work! I'm sure he's tired at the end of his work day, too, but, as you said, YOURS doesnt really have an end! Get help.

Mommy Brain said...

Hugs for Rachel!

Does DH realize how much your income is needed? Because if he does then it shouldn't be hard for him to make it a priority to help out around the house. What is DH doing while you are doing all of this work in the evening?

I don't work outside the home and my DH knows that if I cook then he cleans up after dinner. (and vice versa.) If I really need something done then I ask him if he would rather do chore A or chore B. This way he feels like he has a choice and realizes that I'll be doing whatever he doesn't do so it's not like I'm sitting around doing nothing either.

Hang in there!!!

Anonymous said...

Ooooh, sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed! It sounds like you are handling a huge load really well.