Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Back to Life, Back to Reality . . .

Vacation is over. DH is back to work. In half an hour I will take all the kids to school. Routines are back. Everyday life is back. I LOVED having DH home. He let me sleep in EVERY day which was SO sweet. And we had a great time together as a family, and alone just the two of us. But real life creeps in, so back to work he went this morning early, early, early.

As much as I loved him being home (and trust me, I did) I'm looking forward to school starting again for the kids and getting back into normalcy. The week before break B was sick and home with me, so I didn't really get to take advantage of having all of them in school. But today . . . as soon as I drop them off I'm heading over to my favorite Starbucks, buying a Chai Tea Latte (Is it sad that the manager knows me by name and last time I was there even remembered that my drink is a tall non-fat Chai Tea Latte, no water, no foam? Just asking.) and finding a table to spread out on and write my Hebrew School and Religious School plans for the month. Aaahhh, things I can't do with kids by my side.

We allowed A back on the laptop yesterday to try some new games he got for the holidays. He hasn't had significant time on it since his IEP team recommended limiting the amount of time on a computer, since it is his main area of obsession. In any case, wow - we saw a lot of autistic symtoms that we haven't seen in a while. Hadn't realized how much limiting the computer time was helping! Between the hands over the ears and the flapping fingers and single-minded focus, he was a different kid altogether.

I've realized with A that I have to stop using his diagnosis as an excuse. Yes, he has Asperger's and yes, that explains a lot, but I find that when he displays the slightest Autistic-like behavior I'm telling everyone around me about his diagnosis as a way of excusing/interpreting his behavior. They don't all need to know that! He is an incredible kid. I know that he has lots of problems, but I also know that the way I've been adapting his environment at home and in the way we deal with him has made it much easier for him to cope with the world, and I should focus on his good qualities in public. On the other hand, today I will be getting tough and writing e-mail to reconvene his IEP. He's almost five and still does not do anything at all on the potty. We've tried so many different techniques, and they only get him saying that he doesn't want to sit on the potty (no matter what the incentive is) by the afternoon. What I'm doing doesn't work and I'm at a loss. We NEED to get goals for this on his IEP and I need professional help to get him trained. I don't want him to go to kindergarten with a personal care aide simply because he's still wearing diapers!

Okay, it's time to get their hair brushed and ready for school (so I can get to Starbucks and act like a grown-up).

One more thing: I love my nephew, but it is with great relief that I announce that I will be watching him for a total of only fourteen more days.


Trace said...

1 day down and 13 more to go. I know, Sweetness was home all last week (his company actually closed for the week!) and I LOVED it. It was so nice to have him there, there were no upcoming conference calls or meetings, he wasn't working on the weekends. Alas, back to work today.

Perky said...

I agree - there's a lot I can get done when the kids are around me (cooking, cleaning, laundry, paying bills), but I can't do anything that involves actual thought! Enjoy your time at Starbucks and indulge in the opportunity to be productive! You deserve it!

And, regarding Aaron, I'm sure he does have many "symptoms" of Autism/Aspergers, but whenever I see him, he's a fun, friendly child who plays nicely. Don't be so quick to "explain away" his behavior. He's not even 5 and NO ONE expects a 4 year old to be perfect all the time. You may know the real reason why he's doing something, but the strangers around you just think "oh, he's a kid being a kid". It's okay not to enlighten them further!

Your time to yourself will also allow you to get a better perspective and plan on how to address his issues. I bet you'll see lots of progress in him (and yourself) in 2007 because you're giving yourself the gift of that time!

M-j said...

I used to tell EVERYONE that gave me a funny glance or seemed to question the behavior of my kids that my boys had diagoses. I got over that pretty quickly. I thought that i had to give them all reasons for the odd behaviors or an excuse for the tantrums or "brattiness." What I've realized is that it is NO ONE's business but ours. I don't go around telling everyone that I have a mole next to my belly button (oops, now you know) or that I have a ritualistic way of eating (oj first thing, then tea, then food) or that I don't wear deoderant (oops again). SO why should I tell things about my kids? If someone asks, I tell, but only with discretion. And usually it is another mom of a kid with an ASD, because we all know that I can spot them a mile away.
Anywho, what the heck is normal, anyway? As far as I am concerned, mine are normal and everyone else is off-kilter!

Anonymous said...

My nephew is an aspie -- he is 8 now, and didn't train until he was 4. One day it just clicked. Keep the faith. It WILL happen.