Forget the social stigma.
Forget the price of diapers.
Forget the inconvenience of having a child who is nearly five still not able to use the toilet.
Forget the smell (though that's really tough).
The biggest problem with A not yet being potty trained is the fact that he is much stronger than when he was a toddler. Yesterday he had a diaper rash. When I went to change his diaper in the morning and got ready to clean up the morning messy diaper, he kicked and squirmed and screamed so much that I'm surprised I didn't get a bloody nose. I was kicked a few times hard enough to double me over and finally found a grip to hold under my arm and hold the other leg with my left hand so I could clean him off with my right hand all while I held him down with my leg. I know, it sounds almost barbaric but you do what you have to do to take care of your children. I know it hurts him, but it will hurt him worse if I don't clean him off.
After everyone was dressed and fed and cleaned I took them all to school. I breathed a sigh of relief when I got the boys in their classroom and helped them put their coats and hats and gloves and scarves (don't you just love winter) and backpacks away. And then I breathed in. Oh no. I have to change A yet again. Dread filled my aching body as I took him across the hall to the two year old classroom (the only one set up for diaper changes). For some reason most of the parents were hanging out in the classroom that morning, so they all got to witness our diaper changing dance. After the first minute I had ripped his shoes off (can't believe I didn't think of that before I got started but one good kick to the chin gave me that idea) but had to keep throwing my body across him to calm his legs down so I could grip them better. After what seemed like an eternity trying to hold his legs so I could wipe him off and getting nowhere, sick to death of the pitying glances I received from some parents and the careful avoidance from others, one mom came over and offered some help. I almost cried in gratitude.
The pain from the diaper rash is now gone. But the pain in my body is going to stick around for awhile. And the one in my heart is a little stronger.