Friday, March 09, 2007

Thirteen Letters To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern:

1) Blogger hijacked my blog until I agreed to sign up for the new version. Since I did that it has given me more trouble than I ever had before to get into my blog to write a new post. I would like to switch back to the old version immediately OR have this problem resolved so I don't end up with five different blog posts floating around in my head.

2) Please find the sweet little girl that you stole from my house and replaced with this whiny, pushy, bossy one. The boys and I would really like her back.

3) When I took my five year old son to the "Dysfunctional Outpatient Voiding and Eliminating" Clinic (DOVE for short) I expected to receive some advice on helping him learn how to use the toilet. I did not want to hear that he just might not be ready to learn yet since he still has bowel movements in his sleep. That is NOT helpful. He is five. I do not want him going to kindergarten in diapers. Please rethink your advice and create that magic pill that I was seeking.

4) The parking garage at the DOVE clinic is the most poorly designed that I have ever seen. I spent literally twenty-five minutes driving around the garage to find a spot. Granted, it was a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate to my son various techniques to use when upset (see how Mommy takes deep breaths) it would not have been necessary it the garage was not so counter-intuitive in design. Please create a new design and submit it to me by next week.

5) The dishwasher fairy no longer lives in our house. Do not lay your used ice cream spoon on the side of the sink and expect her to magically transport it into the dishwasher - please do it yourself.

6) When you receive the flyer advertising an incredible new birthday party service and it has a coupon attached to it that expires at the end of the month, please be inspired to book your child's next birthday party immediately. Miss R's new business is still in the red.

7) My family quite enjoyed the warm weather that we had next week and was quite surprised when the cold weather appeared and the snow fell on Wednesday. Please keep in mind that it is now March. We expect spring to be arriving any day now. Please cooperate with this expectation.

8) Removing Thursday from my consciousness was not a very nice thing to do. I was quite surprised yesterday when I looked at the Thursday Thirteen site and saw so many postings, especially since it was Wednesday (at least in my mind). I have too much to do to lose a day like that.

9) I just started the Best Life Diet and am loving it.

10) If you are a library and you received an e-mail describing an incredible show based on the state's summer theme "Find a clue at the library" you should be falling over yourself to book a date for your library. Again, Miss R's business is still in the red.

11) We are waiting quite impatiently for our income tax return to arrive.

12) My children are quite desperate for the bunk beds we will be buying as soon as we receive it, especially J since she is currently sleeping on a mattress that is on the floor of the boys' room.

13) Finding thirteen ideas for letters was NOT as easy as I thought it would be. Please remind me of that if I ever want to do this again.


M-j said...

Ok, that has to be the best thing you've ever written! Quite funny and witty!
Man, I feel your pain. But I think the doctor's point was (if there was one) that Aaron may not have the MOTOR SKILLS yet, and may not for a while. I know you don't want him starting Kindergarten in Diapers, but it will happen when he is ready. Just get after the IU for that training program!!!!

Lucy T said...

And we all know who the ice cream eater is in your family . . shame on him thinking the dishwasher fairy still lived there . . .LOL