I've been really down on myself recently.
I know part of that is just from being tired. And maybe I'm PMSing (really have to keep track of all that again instead of guessing).
I just feel like I have too much on my plate and therefore am not doing anything really well.
When I'm in the classroom I love what I'm doing, except I feel like I could be doing so much more. Free play is really important for two-year-olds, but any time I sit down and relax for a moment in the classroom, I see so many opportunities where I coud be building language skills, increasing the kids' awareness of each other, moving them from parallel play to actual interaction, the list goes on and on. It's just tough to be "on" for three full hours. But that's the job!
When I'm with my kids I feel like I could be doing so much more. I have great ideas but no energy to follow through. I would love to have the boys start a journal at home, drawing a picture of something they did at school and then they could "write" a little bit about it. I would love to read with them more, even having a set reading time each day. I would love to take daily walks with them. I would love to go to the park with them a few times a week and teach them how to play soccer or basketball or baseball. The list goes on and on.
When the kids are playing outside I look around the house and am just disgusted by all that I could/should be doing around here. Mt. Washmore keeps piling up, as do my paper mountains, no matter how much I take away from them.
I would love to be in contact with the people I consider friends more often, making "playdates" (with the kids or without). I feel like I could be in isolation over here with the kids if I don't push myself to get together with others. I think that's a whole post unto itself.
I'm really frustrated. I know part of it is I'm being too hard on myself. The sprained ankle has thrown me - it's hard enough to do everything I have to do, doing it while limping and ignoring the ankle pain makes it even harder. And the fact that I'm tired all the time doesn't help either! I just feel like there has to be a way to do all that I want to do, and I just can't wrap my head around it.