I know I'm not. I know I'm being a total baby. I know I'm exaggerating my symptoms only to get much needed sympathy. I know I'm being totally insensitive and ingrateful to the fact that I DON'T actually have a terminal disease, it's just a cold, suck it up, there are people out there that have it much worse than I do.
But I'm still dying.
DH is doing a show right now. It's getting great reviews, I can't wait to see it, how fabulous for him that he is getting such positive recognition.
He was there last night while I was dying, but still had to get the kids ready for bed. To be fair, he had been in charge of them ALL day, not just them but also my niece and nephew to help out my sister who has been so wonderful in helping us out with child-care whenever we have needed it. Instead of spending the day in bed as I should have, I went out and worked on the laptop at my favorite coffee place. I managed to plan out preschool for the next two weeks, plus type the newsletters to send home, plus revise my Religious School plans AND type a newsletter to send home for that too. It was good, even though I forgot to bring tissues and had to rely on at least three dozen of their cardboard-like napkins to blow my nose.
He's preparing for his matinee right now. I had promised to get up with the kids today, but since I was dying, he volunteered not just to get up with them but to also let me stay in bed until the last possible minute before he had to leave at 11:30.
He's a good person.
But, bottom line, I'm dying and the kids keep nagging me for food and drink, claiming its time for lunch or some such nonsense, and I'm the only one here who can get it for them. Though A just walked by with one of the snack containers I had in the snack box (I've filled the box with lots of kid-sized portions of various snacks they like to eat), so maybe they'll all just get food for themselves. Naaah, I don't think that will work.
On the plus side, I found some medicine in the closet that I took and I GUESS it's helping a little, even though my chest still hurts from congestion.
My heart is still jumping around inside my chest, but the good news is I just did yet another 48 hour holter test (where I get all wired for sound with five leads on my chest and a Walkman size recorder thingy that I keep in my pocket) and this time my heart decided to perform. Every time I've done this before my heart has decided to behave impeccably, going ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump just like it's supposed to. I made the mistake of praying that my heart would DO the funky thing it does when the monitor is actually on, so it did. Oh, did it. Normally it will jump/skip a beat/whatever about six times in an evening once in a while. That would be a "bad" night. Apparently God answered my prayers by making my heart REALLY jump around so there would be PLENTY of funky beats for the cardiologists to analyze. Plenty. As in around 35 extra beats that make me gasp and jump all day long on Friday. Fun. Lots of fun. And even though the monitor is off now, my heart still thinks it needs to be doing step aerobics or something, so even though I'm sitting calmly at the computer, every once in awhile my heart decides to make me jump out of the seat.
It's a good thing I was wired for sound Thursday - Saturday because otherwise I would have called the doctor to ask what the heck was going on! I return the monitor tomorrow, so hopefully the doctor will soon be able to say THIS is what's going on. That would be nice. Especially if he says either, "This is actually no big deal; just learn to live with it and try to ignore it." OR "This is actually no big deal; just take this pill every day and it will stop giving you that jolt every once in a while out of the blue." Honestly, either would be fine.
Okay, I've put off making them lunch and getting them drinks long enough. Here I go.