And not just for an hour or two.
I need a week to catch up on sleep and do all the friggin' things I need to do without having to be accountable to anyone. I know that isn't going to happen, but I NEED it so bad.
I'm just overwhelmed. It seems like a constant theme on my part. Why really does anyone want to read this? It's just like I'm on a giant exercise wheel and I'M NOT REALLY GOING ANYWHERE! The more I do, the more that has to get done. And I'm having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year, was this weekend. It brings with it a time for introspection (is that the right word?). I used to write in a journal before I started this blog, and I looked back at this time of year for the last few years. Every time I end up writing the same thing. My goals are simple: take better care of myself and stick to my routines. I can hear one of my wise FLYlady friends telling me now, "If it really was simple, you'd be doing it already. Clearly, it's not that simple for you." I get that. But I'm getting ready to crawl into bed, pull the covers over my head, and hibernate for the week. That won't help anything, but at least I won't have to deal with it all!
I read my friend's blog this morning and feel guilty complaining.
And yet, can't stop my mind from racing.
So, I now have two hours (if J will PLEASE play independently and I don't end up feeling too guilty that I wouldn't play with her) to at least do some more laundry and clean up (shovel out?) the main surfaces. I THINK that will make me feel better. I can't even attempt anything on my big list of things I need to do, some of them very important until I can at least walk without tripping, or my three year old nephew doesn't tell me that I need to clean up (ouch). Maybe if I do that while the kids are at school, I'll be able to get through some of the important stuff during nap time.
That is, if I can keep myself out from under the covers.