I'm usually really content with the choices I've made in my life.
I really do enjoy being home with my kids, and can't imagine arranging my life so that someone else would raise them (not that I'm knocking that for other people, it's just not for me). That being said, this time of year is always tough for me.
Before kids, this was a crazy time for me, filled with anticipation and new ideas as I got my classroom ready for a new year. For the most part, I don't have that anymore. I'm trying to get excited about some new ideas I have for Hebrew School (which I will be teaching both on Tuesdays AND Wednesdays), but it's not really the same since each class only meets for an hour and a half once a week. And I'm planning out all the projects for the year for Yaldai Sholom, the preschool parent/child Shabbat program I'll be running again, and I'll be searching for new ideas to try with my Kindergarten Sunday School class. I really enjoy all the part time teaching I do, but it is not the same as being a full time classroom teacher.
Most teacher colleagues I know take the year off that they have a child and then start back to work. I wonder how things would have been if I had chosen to do that. I guess that's part of life, second guessing your choices at times. But ultimately, being satisfied with what I'm doing, the compromises I have made so I can teach a little and still be home with the kids, that is the most important thing of all.
Of course, it doesn't help that I STILL have back to school nightmares this time of year! Last night it was that I went back to school to teach and I had apparently forgotten to go for the last three weeks. Everyone was somewhat put off by that (understandably) so I just tried to ease back into teaching my class even though everything was really off. Very disturbing dream, and not too hard to interpret.
Alright, the kids' tv time is almost done. Let me go downstairs and do something educational with them.