Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Works-For-Me Wednesday - NOT

Okay, I'm cheating a little bit. This isn't truly what works for me - it's just we're so desparate I was hoping that any of the wonderful people who come up with such great ideas at Rocks in My Dryer's meme will have some solution to help us out. Here's the situation:

My daughter J is two. Definitely going through the terrible twos, I guess to get us back for the fact that our twins never did and we thought we were so lucky. When we go for a car ride, she cannot keep her hands to herself. She sits next to the my seven month old niece! Lately she has been pulling at my niece's hands and hitting her on the head. There is no where else to move her - the back has three car seats/booster across the bench. When we tried putting her in the car seat in the middle (her brothers on either side of her) she hit them. We've tried reminding her ahead of time, threatening her with loss of privelages, even yelling at her to stop as we're driving. Nothing has worked so far.

At home, when she hits or pinches, she automatically goes into time out and then must apologize. She still is going into time out quite a bit (at least three-four times a day), but she is clearly unhappy in time out, so I'm hoping that being consistent will eventually eliminate the behavior. But I can't figure out how to give her a time out in the car!!!

PLEASE - any suggestions are welcome!!!


Trisha said...

I have problems with disciplining "on the road" too. The biggest thing I have learned is using the phrase "use your words". Usually this kind of thing happens, at least for us, when he is bored, tired, hungry or needing attention. We encourage him to tell us what is wrong instead of acting out. At first, we had to do a lot of prompting, (Are you hungry? tired?, etc) but now he is getting the hang of it and uses his words more often than his hands. Hope it helps. Good luck!!

Kelley said...

My kids are older, but when they are bothering each other in the car, I make them sit on their hands! Sounds silly, but it works for me!

Mom2fur said...

Okay, first, don't threaten loss of privileges. Trust me on this, a 2-year-old won't make the connection to what she did wrong if you take away her toy later. Second, how verbal is she? Like Trisha said, "Use your words" might help. Ask whoever is sitting with her to pay some attention to her--BEFORE she starts hitting! (Obviously, if you do it after, she will think she's being rewarded for hitting.) Maybe sing a song or share a safe toy? about having a toy that is only for the car and no place else? Something with bells and whistles that's so cool she'll pay attention to it instead of whoever sits next to her. What I guess I'm saying is you can try to 'head her off at the pass," before the behavior starts. Oh, and you're doing it just right at home, IMHO. I think it is great to teach her to apologize when she hurts someone. Kids that age simply don't know their own strength and have to learn that others have feelings! Hey, good luck!

Gina said...

How about trying to keep her hands busy with a toy, or something special she just gets to use in the car. If she still hits or throws said toy, it gets taken away.

Maybe put up a cardboard barrier between her and the ones she's hitting. I had to do this during our homeschool when my kids couldn't keep their hands off of each other.

I also do the sit on the hands thing, or put your hands on your head. This gets tiring and boring fast.

Thanks all I can think of. Hope it works out.

AbbysMomma said...

[[[Rachel]]] DD didn't get too much into the hitting (how could she with no But she was, I believe, a typical 2 YO and three was more difficult---she's strong The time outs sound like an excellent idea...she'll figure it out...also, we had some minor biting issues with DD and school and they recomended rewarding the good behavior rather than punishing the bad...don't get me wrong...she got a talking to at the time it happened and a time out, but I wasn't sure what to do once she got home. So...time out at school when it happens and we implemented a sticker chart. She got a sticker everyday she behaved as she should. Seemed to work while we where doing it...and I'm thinking about re-implementing it now for eating issues. Good luck!!!!