Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Trying to Keep Moving

Of course I missed the return call from the doctor yesterday, so I'll need to call her back today. I had the phone next to me for all but forty-five minutes yesterday while home, even brought it outside, so it's just my luck that I missed the call. Hopefully I will be able to talk to her today and work out the appropriate dosage for my meds. I have no qualms admitting that I need some chemical help. Major clinical depression is a condition that runs in my family. It has to do with an imbalance in my brain that the medication can make right. I have a hard time understanding why some people are so resistant to either admitting there is a problem and/or accepting medical help for this medical condition. Do they think that because it's in your brain that it's all in your head?!!

I held it together yesterday until DH got home. Then I let him take over with the kids and I went upstairs to lay on the bed. It was not so great - I didn't even want a book or to tun the tv on, just wanted to stare off into space. It took so much energy keeping a smile on my face for the kids all day that I had none left for myself.

But today is a new day and I'm going to do my best to keep moving, which I've found helps a lot with the depression. The boys have their kindergarten orientation this morning, which is very exciting, so we drop J off at preschool and then head over to their elementary school. After that is over and I bring them back to preschool I plan to hang out at my favorite Starbucks sipping a chai tea latte while I sort through the pile of papers I have in my "in basket" upstairs.

Okay, A is now hanging on my shoulder reading what I write, J is begging for grapes, B is hiding upstairs, and we need to leave in five minutes! Just enough time to have everyone brush their teeth, clean up their breakfast dishes, allow me to brush their hair, and run out the door. Here we go!


Domestic Goddess said...

You go girl.
I think that the reason people don't want medical attention for this is because they don't consider it to be a medical problem. There is still such a stigma attached to mental illness. If you remember what the 50s were like for people then you know what I mean. My extremely ill mother still doesn't admit it. She just calls it "A little anxiety." She is bi-polar, has PTSD and is agoraphobic. Not to mention the addictions. It is tough stuff, you know?

Perky said...

Sounds like you're moving right along. Get done the things that HAVE to get done and take care of yourself however you have to - even if that means laying in bed staring into space for an hour. If that's what you need, then that's what you need! Set your timer and give yourself an hour to "indulge" your depression. Then, get up and get one or two things done. Good luck! Keep us up to date! You know we're all walking this path with you! You're not alone!