Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Self Destructive

Yup. That's the word (Or words, I guess I should say. Though I could hyphenate them and make them one word. Hmmm....) I've been searching for. That's me. And no, I don't mean I cut myself, or throw up my food, or drink too much. It's all tied around the whole sleep thing. Every night I end up staying up too late, in a stupor on the couch, the mess of the day all around me. When I crawl up to my room, I tell myself that I will do better tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and I do everything I can to stay in bed just five minutes more. Which makes me late in starting the day. Which means that I can't get anything much accomplished before having to deal with the kids. And then by the time the kids go down for a nap I'm beat. So by then I barely make it through dinner and getting them ready for bed and then I collapse on the couch only to start the cycle all over again.


Stupid, stupid, stupid!

It's very frustrating, especially when I have so much that I have to do and am ruining my chances of getting them accomplished.

Today's the day.
Even though I'm tired, I'm ending the cycle today.
I'll report back to tell you how I'm doing.

1 comment:

Chaotic Mom said...

Yes! You can do it! I takes time to brainwash new habits, so take it easy on yourself. I feel the same way you do, ashamed at what I've been letting slide. Just finished one big project, and that has motivated me to do more. Yeah! You can do it, too!!!!! :)