Let me start by saying that my husband loves me. I know he does. He tells me often. And I love him too. He is an amazing father, and a great husband. He truly is a terrific person.
He shows he loves me too. He buys me wonderful cards on Valentine's Day, on our anniversary, on my birthday. On Valentine's Day he buys me a Whitman's sampler of chocolates, usually heart shaped. On Mother's Day he gave me the best gift of all: one Saturday "off" a month, to do whatever I want. And for Hannukah he gave me a gift I can hardly even imagine: one whole week for myself this summer, where he will be in charge of all the kids for the entire week. I'm telling you, I've got a great husband!
I hear some of my friends talk about their husbands and I know I've got it good. They talk about how they can't go places at night until their kids are in bed because their husbands just couldn't handle bedtime. Or how they could never spend a few hours on their own on their weekend without getting a babysitter because their husband has his own things to do. Or how they can't go anywhere at night because their husband has sports and cards and other hobbies to do each night. I've got it good.
Which makes complaining feel petty. It feels like nagging, and I hate that feeling. But there are certain things that say "I love you" to me, and when they don't happen, I feel unappreciated.
* locking up the house before going upstairs, making sure we're all safe.
* taking the trash out, and checking the can to see if it needs to go out.
* emptying the dishwasher in the morning.
* helping clean up at the end of both of our long days.
* knowing what the other person likes and surprising them with it to show you were paying attention, like their favorite flowers, their favorite foods/candies.
* cleaning up the dishes when the other person works hard to create a special meal for the two of you.
Like I said, I know I've got a good husband. And I love him. Completely.
But love is an action word. The things I listed above are some of the ways that help me feel loved. How about you?