Monday, December 19, 2005

Long night - tired morning

Poor B - I think. He has Reactive Airway Disease (basically that means that every cold he gets goes instantly to his lungs causing Asthma-like symptoms - it's just not diagnosed as Asthma until he's a little older), and started a cold Saturday night. We're on top of it, upping his inhaled Steroid to twice a day, started his Albuterol yesterday morning. He's not retracting (where he struggles to breathe so much that you see his ribs with every inhale) or wheezing, but is coughing a lot. He was up a few times last night crying for us to come help him. This morning he feels warm, so I kept him home. He's lying on the couch now watching a video that has a part that scares A - he's so excited that he gets to watch the whole thing without fast forwarding it! As soon as I'm done here, I'm going in to do his Albuterol and Pulmicort (steroid). Luckily he wears a mask for it now, so I can set him up and then still do some stuff around the house. When I told him that he was staying home, he started crying, so I told him that he gets to lay on the couch and watch tv. That cheered him up, but then A started crying. A even started saying that he was sick too (I checked - he's not). B started saying that A can't go to school because he's his brother (I guess that means that since they're brothers/twins they have to do the same thing?), but I convinced him it's okay.

I have a lot of little stuff to finish up to get ready for the holidays, and a lot of basic clean up I want to do around here. It's funny - I feel really good about what I've been able to get accomplished most of the time, but begin to get really depressed/overwhelmed when I start to PMS. Now that I'm noticing the connection, I feel like I can identify my cycle just by watching my moods. Last couple of months have been REALLY bad, even had to start medication again to stabalize my moods in November, but I'm hoping that knowing how I might feel will help me not allow it to get too bad. I'm going to work really hard this week to go to bed by 10 at the latest and to push myself to do stuff around the house in fifteen minute spurts (I can do ANYTHING for 15 minutes). The tough part comes when I get really depressed and I feel almost as if a physical weight is pushing me down, making it difficult to move. Every thing I do requires a tremendous effort. I'm fine around my kids, and when the other kids are here for my Mom's Morning Out, but it's as if that required so much effort that I "deflate" afterwards. But, like I said, I'm going to work on staying focused and try to stay on top of it this month. Let's see how that goes.

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