Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Shifting norms

I got up/showered and dressed before the kids got up today. Makes SUCH a huge difference! I have a long list on the white board (which is on the inside door of my new computer armoire - for which A has figured out how to pick the lock) of all I want to do, my goal being to spend fifteen minutes doing each. I'm allowing myself a moment right now because I just got everyone down for naps/quiet time and the clothes are fluffing, almost ready to be folded. It is a pretty big list. Let's see: 18 items, fifteen minutes each, plus time for a five minute break in between (or a fifteen minute break after three) - I can do it, especially since DH will be home at a normal time tonight.

Talked to someone yesterday about our ER trip with J. I know for some people taking your child to the ER must be terrifying. It was for us the first couple times we had to bring B in, when he was around 10 months old. It was especially scary for me because DH was out of town and I was alone with the boys, trying to figure out what to do for this child who was struggling and working so hard for each breath. That first time I took him in he was admitted over night. I had to make the amazingly hard decision NOT to tell DH about B being sick because he was stuck at conference far away with no way to get back. If I told him, he would just be very worried with nothing to do about it, which is not good. If he was closer and could have gotten home, or if it had been life threatening, of course I would have told him, but he wasn't and while it was serious, B was not going to die from this. Since that first trip with B we have gone to the hospital with both B and J so many time I have honestly lost count. It's kind of strange when your norm shifts, so that going to the ER is no big deal. I was talking to another parent at the boys' school whose younger son has many feeding issues and has to be hospitalized often. She was describing her week to me, that they had just come from the hospital because he was there for the last two days - she said it in such an off-handed way, like it was just a commonplace thing, and I realized that it was commonplace - it was normal for them. Just like traveling to the ER every month or so to get the kids' pulse ox checked or to get a chest x-ray, it's normal for us.

That's it for today. Not very profound, just thinking about our last hospital visit. . . and all that I now have to do.


jess said...

I'm sorry for all you've been through. I think you know that i have two with asthma stuff as well. Although visits to the hospital are the norm for us as well they always leave me feeling out of step with the world.

Take care!

Chaotic Mom said...

Rachel, I am challenged by your list making! That was my personal thing to work on this week, and I'm still dragging on it. GOOD JOB for you, though!

Bummer on the lock thing. Maybe install a latch, higher up where they can't reach? I have to do that with the laundry room door...