Monday, April 17, 2006

Failure?

I had a post worked out in my mind last night, and I came downstairs all prepared to write it. I was thinking about how I feel about the house, and the word failure kept coming to mind. That sums it up - I feel like a failure. I was all set to elaborate on that feeling, and describe how when I look around my messy house and see the various things lying around I just feel more and more like I have failed. I have failed to keep the house the way I want it to be. Not for company, but for ME. And if I actually am able to do it, actually crack down and get it looking nice, I don't maintain it and it falls apart. And I know what I have to do but just don't do it consistently, which is key, so it ends up looking good only for a few days max. And it just kills me.

But then I turned on the computer and read some of the comments that you all have sent. I AM being hard on myself. I know that. I DO need to cut myself a little slack. And I WOULD welcome all offers of help. :)

I have a to do list on my white board right next to me. I am not going to post my plans on here anymore - I just end up feeling like a failure when I don't do them!!! Instead, I'm going to list them on my white board and post here what I AM able to get done. DH is in charge of all five (hee hee - his idea!) until one, so I need to get my butt in gear!

New day, new chance. Here goes.

6 comments:

Denise said...

You ARE being too hard on yourself. It helps to maintain a routine. For example, this is my daily routine:

Wake up, have coffee and read blogs.

Get the kids fed and ready for school.

Drop them off and run any errands while I'm already out.

Come home and clean the kitchen and bathrooms.

Spend time with the baby.

Prepare lunch and do prep work for dinner. Have lunch with the little guy.

Throw some laundry in the washer and pick up anything that doesn't belong in certain rooms and return them to the room they belong to.

Take a break and blog.

Finish up the laundry and put everything away.

Pick up the kids. Bring them home and prepare a snack and help them with homework.

Spend time with the kids watching TV or a movie.

Make and serve dinner.

Clean kitchen while kids are entertaining themselves.

Relax.

Bath and bed time for kids.

ME time after they are tucked in.


Of course there are some days when I have to alter the routine to accommodate appointments, etc. But once you get into a groove, it's easy and you do it without even thinking about it.

Rachel said...

Denise -
Thank you so much for your daily routine. I read it and it sounds great, and I'm trying to respond to it without whining. But all I can think about is that clearly the majority of your children are in school all day. I know, mine will be one day too, but they're not now! :) I do have to get back into my daily routine. Maybe that should be my next post.

Abbe said...

I like your idea of only posting the things that you do get done. Afterall, you need to celebrate the sucesses and triumphs in life -- if you only recognize the failures, defeats and disappointments, then they will certainly outnumber the good things!

When driving, I used to count the cigarette butts littered along the road. Once I realized how badly this little "game" affected my mood and demeanor, I started to count other things - flowers, buds on trees, drivers who were smiling or singing, birds, butterflies, etc.... I assure you, there are more cigarette butts visible than any of the other things, but by focusing on the nice stuff, it did me worlds of good!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you could wake up and accomplish everything on your to-do list and still feel like you failed because there are hundreds of other things that still need to be done. It's better to concentrate on what you actually did get done and realize how much you truly have blessed your family by doing those things.

M-j said...

That's the ticket! Positive thoughts! It is so much more difficult to work when you have that stinkin' thinkin' going on. Keep the positives in your head. You are doing a great job.
Remember, your kids are only this little for a short time. No one ever went to their grave wishing they had spent more time on housework, but I bet they all wish they could be with their family just once more.
I guess what I am trying to say is, if you are functioning and getting the basics done, then you are doing fine!

Mommy off the Record said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you have a lot going on and that you are doing the best you can.

I used to have a "to do" list and I was married to it until my husband pointed out that being that organized was making me crazy. And it was. I felt really bad if I didn't get to cross off at least 3 things a day. And many days, I didn't cross off any. And I felt like a failure. So, under the hubby's direction, I tossed the "to do" list. And it did help. For a while. But I'm back to my list lately. I guess I'm too addicted to my list to quit cold turkey. I just try not to come down on myself too much if I don't cross something off every day.

Well, hope you're feeling better today :)

kvetch blogger said...

If your family has clean clothes to wear and food to eat - you are steps ahead of many others! Remember that your kids - all of them - appreciate their time with you more than they do a tidy room! Really.