Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Tired Tuesday

I know, it's a lame title, but I am tired. I've done a decent job the last couple of days with following my routines around the house, but a really bad job with actually going upstairs to bed when I should (instead of falling asleep on the couch while watching tv). Add to that all three kids waking up for various reasons last night, and I'm tired!!! To remedy that, I'm not watching any tv tonight. Of course, I'll be out of the house tonight, but I'm not turning it on when I get back, I'm just heading up to bed.

The boys had their four year old check ups yesterday. I discussed my behavioral concerns about A, and she agreed that Asperger's is a possibility. She also encouraged me to go ahead and schedule an eval with a developmental pediatrician now since it normally takes a while to get an appointment. She questioned whether or not we've had his IQ tested yet, because he seems so smart (in addition to his behavioral crap). We haven't (what's the point at this time - we know he's smart!). I'm concerned on how all this will affect B, plus how talking about it is affecting A, so I need to really watch what I say in front of them.

Life with my brother when I was growing up was very difficult. I'll go into more detail when I have more time, but he had ADHD at a time when not very much was known about it. Most memories I have of him are not good (to say the least - he had terrible impulse control and ended up lashing out at me physically quite a lot), but even worse were the fights/confrontations my parents and he had all the time in front of me. As much as I love my parents, I was left traumatized from growing up like that, actually diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. That blew me away, but when I started reading more about it, everything started falling into place. It explained so much, things that I never understood about why I acted the way I did, why I felt (or didn't feel) the way I did. I'll write more about that later, but my point is just that I'm very aware of the need to watch what we say and how we act in front of all three kids.

I know this was kind of rambling - too much going on right now.


Anjali said...

Rachel, my brother also had ADHD growing up, at a time when people didn't know what it was. We are very close, but growing up with a family that knew something was very wrong but couldn't figure our what or why was so tough. I totally hear you.

M-j said...

Ramble away.
I don't like talking about things in front of my guys, even though I know there are things they don't get, you know? But I know it still isn't appropriate.