A peed in the potty this morning! Now he is laughing and smiling beside me because he read the first sentence (and what I'm currently writing). And now he is screaming and crying because I can't find where Daddy last put his Gameboy, A's prize for when he does anything in the potty. And now he's laughing through his tears because I just found it. Wow, fast mood swings!
A has been trying to pee (his own idea) the last few mornings. He'll stand at the potty and push using all the right muscles. He will usually end up sitting on his special potty seat (has handles and step up to rest his feet on). Today he actually was able to get a very short stream (the pee lasted for about a second, maybe less) but it was actual pee and he was so proud.
So was Mommy.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Sunday, May 20, 2007
A B Funny
The boys' teacher pulled me aside Friday to tell me my son's latest ego-centric conversation (my words, not hers):
The teacher was talking to another parent, telling her that, "the good news is (her son) did not use his hands but instead used his words."
B approached her very excitedly and asked, "But did you tell her the REALLY good news?"
"No, B," his teacher turned to him, "What is the really good news?"
"Our daddy is directing Seussical this summer!"
To B the best thing in the world is that daddy is going to be directing one of his favorite musicals again. It doesn't get much better than that for B, and he just had to share this amazing news with everyone.
The teacher was talking to another parent, telling her that, "the good news is (her son) did not use his hands but instead used his words."
B approached her very excitedly and asked, "But did you tell her the REALLY good news?"
"No, B," his teacher turned to him, "What is the really good news?"
"Our daddy is directing Seussical this summer!"
To B the best thing in the world is that daddy is going to be directing one of his favorite musicals again. It doesn't get much better than that for B, and he just had to share this amazing news with everyone.
Friday, May 18, 2007
A Three-Year-Old's Body Image
Last night J broke my heart.
I had taken her out of the bathtub and she was wrapped up in a towel on my lap, looking down as I brushed her hair. "Mommy, why my belly like a baby?"
"What do you mean?" I really had no idea what her question meant or where it came from.
J was poking her belly as she replied, "When will it go in?"
I really couldn't figure out what she was talking about. The questions seemed to come out of nowhere. Trying to get more information out her, I asked, "Can you show me what you mean?"
At that she sucked her belly in and asked again, "When will it be flat and not stick out like a baby?"
My three-year-old daughter is expressing disatisfaction with her body. How is that possible? Where do those thoughts come from? I was anorexic for about five years growing up - I'm hyper-aware of the different things that a mom can do that might trigger unhealthy thoughts in their daughters. She doesn't watch commercial tv - I don't think she's really seen that many images of models or teen actresses. I don't talk about losing weight; I talk about trying to eat healthy. I NEVER express disatisfaction with my own body in front of her. And somehow she still picked up that her body is still round with a little baby fat.
As shocked as I was when I finally realized what J was asking, I knew I had to respond. I wrapped the towel more tightly around her in a hug and whispered, "But J, your body is perfect just the way it is. Your body is the perfect J body. When you get older it will change some, but right now it is exactly the way it is supposed to be. You're beautful."
Within minutes of our deep, heartfelt conversation my J was streaking through the upstairs, clearly not concerned about her "baby belly" while running naked through the boys' room.
I will do everything I can to keep her feeling that carefree about her body.
I had taken her out of the bathtub and she was wrapped up in a towel on my lap, looking down as I brushed her hair. "Mommy, why my belly like a baby?"
"What do you mean?" I really had no idea what her question meant or where it came from.
J was poking her belly as she replied, "When will it go in?"
I really couldn't figure out what she was talking about. The questions seemed to come out of nowhere. Trying to get more information out her, I asked, "Can you show me what you mean?"
At that she sucked her belly in and asked again, "When will it be flat and not stick out like a baby?"
My three-year-old daughter is expressing disatisfaction with her body. How is that possible? Where do those thoughts come from? I was anorexic for about five years growing up - I'm hyper-aware of the different things that a mom can do that might trigger unhealthy thoughts in their daughters. She doesn't watch commercial tv - I don't think she's really seen that many images of models or teen actresses. I don't talk about losing weight; I talk about trying to eat healthy. I NEVER express disatisfaction with my own body in front of her. And somehow she still picked up that her body is still round with a little baby fat.
As shocked as I was when I finally realized what J was asking, I knew I had to respond. I wrapped the towel more tightly around her in a hug and whispered, "But J, your body is perfect just the way it is. Your body is the perfect J body. When you get older it will change some, but right now it is exactly the way it is supposed to be. You're beautful."
Within minutes of our deep, heartfelt conversation my J was streaking through the upstairs, clearly not concerned about her "baby belly" while running naked through the boys' room.
I will do everything I can to keep her feeling that carefree about her body.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Sweating at Home
I found a FABULOUS website (well, my fabulous neighbor sent me the site, but still) that I'm really excited about it. It's called www.sparkpeople.com and it has a food tracker and a fitness tracker and it tells me exactly how many calories I have eaten and how many I burned. It even inspired me to exercise tonight while I watched tv. Woohoo!
And I learned that even if I can't go walking/jogging around the neighborhood like I want to do early in the morning because DH leaves before 6, or in the evening because he doesn't always get home too early, but I can jog in place and still work up a good sweat. I'm thrilled that I have found a relatively easy way to do cardio at home.
And I learned that even if I can't go walking/jogging around the neighborhood like I want to do early in the morning because DH leaves before 6, or in the evening because he doesn't always get home too early, but I can jog in place and still work up a good sweat. I'm thrilled that I have found a relatively easy way to do cardio at home.
Contest
Click below for a new contest:
http://ww1.checkoutsupervalu.com/acm/index.php?Plink=L1179351295126156385
http://ww1.checkoutsupervalu.com/acm/index.php?Plink=L1179351295126156385
Trying to Keep Moving
Of course I missed the return call from the doctor yesterday, so I'll need to call her back today. I had the phone next to me for all but forty-five minutes yesterday while home, even brought it outside, so it's just my luck that I missed the call. Hopefully I will be able to talk to her today and work out the appropriate dosage for my meds. I have no qualms admitting that I need some chemical help. Major clinical depression is a condition that runs in my family. It has to do with an imbalance in my brain that the medication can make right. I have a hard time understanding why some people are so resistant to either admitting there is a problem and/or accepting medical help for this medical condition. Do they think that because it's in your brain that it's all in your head?!!
I held it together yesterday until DH got home. Then I let him take over with the kids and I went upstairs to lay on the bed. It was not so great - I didn't even want a book or to tun the tv on, just wanted to stare off into space. It took so much energy keeping a smile on my face for the kids all day that I had none left for myself.
But today is a new day and I'm going to do my best to keep moving, which I've found helps a lot with the depression. The boys have their kindergarten orientation this morning, which is very exciting, so we drop J off at preschool and then head over to their elementary school. After that is over and I bring them back to preschool I plan to hang out at my favorite Starbucks sipping a chai tea latte while I sort through the pile of papers I have in my "in basket" upstairs.
Okay, A is now hanging on my shoulder reading what I write, J is begging for grapes, B is hiding upstairs, and we need to leave in five minutes! Just enough time to have everyone brush their teeth, clean up their breakfast dishes, allow me to brush their hair, and run out the door. Here we go!
I held it together yesterday until DH got home. Then I let him take over with the kids and I went upstairs to lay on the bed. It was not so great - I didn't even want a book or to tun the tv on, just wanted to stare off into space. It took so much energy keeping a smile on my face for the kids all day that I had none left for myself.
But today is a new day and I'm going to do my best to keep moving, which I've found helps a lot with the depression. The boys have their kindergarten orientation this morning, which is very exciting, so we drop J off at preschool and then head over to their elementary school. After that is over and I bring them back to preschool I plan to hang out at my favorite Starbucks sipping a chai tea latte while I sort through the pile of papers I have in my "in basket" upstairs.
Okay, A is now hanging on my shoulder reading what I write, J is begging for grapes, B is hiding upstairs, and we need to leave in five minutes! Just enough time to have everyone brush their teeth, clean up their breakfast dishes, allow me to brush their hair, and run out the door. Here we go!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Down in the dumps still
I'm down.
Just can't get over this funk.
I walked with my sister this morning. Exercise is supposed to help increase endorphins, make you feel good. And it did at the time.
But by the time I got home I felt ready to cry. No particular reason. The house is messy, but it's been worse. Maybe that will help.
But after trying to get over this on my own for a while, I'm going to talk to the doctor about upping my dosage on my anti-depresion medication.
Just can't get over this funk.
I walked with my sister this morning. Exercise is supposed to help increase endorphins, make you feel good. And it did at the time.
But by the time I got home I felt ready to cry. No particular reason. The house is messy, but it's been worse. Maybe that will help.
But after trying to get over this on my own for a while, I'm going to talk to the doctor about upping my dosage on my anti-depresion medication.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
I've Been Tagged!
Thank you, Nancy, for tagging me!
Here Are The Rules
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
2) I love reading good romantic suspense novels.
3) I ABSOLUTELY love the book 1, 2, 3, Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12. It saved my sanity and the life of one of my children.
4) I have a pirate ship in the backyard.
5) I used to sing professionally at weddings but haven't done that in a few years.
6) Even though my daughter was incredulous that I knew how to teach, I was a public-school elementary teacher in my former (pre-kid) life.
7) I used to pretend my bike was a horse and would ride it all over the yard (give me a break, I was ten).
8) I spend WAY too much time on the computer (oh, wait, that would be true for most of us, wouldn't it).
And let's see, now I have to tag eight people. I'm not on my desktop computer right now which has all my favorite blogs on it, so let's see if I can think of eight blogs I like to read that have NOT already been tagged. I tag:
The Adventures of Dino Boy
I'm an Organizing Junkie!
Life in the Hundred-Acre Wood
Looky, Daddy!
Mama's Ramblings
Random Musings of a Crazed Momma
Rocks in my Dryer
Your God Loves Me Too
Here Are The Rules
1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
Eight Random Things About ME
1) I am quite good at tuning out my children when I need to (like right now) and continuing an adult conversation with another mom even through ten different interruptions.
2) I love reading good romantic suspense novels.
3) I ABSOLUTELY love the book 1, 2, 3, Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12. It saved my sanity and the life of one of my children.
4) I have a pirate ship in the backyard.
5) I used to sing professionally at weddings but haven't done that in a few years.
6) Even though my daughter was incredulous that I knew how to teach, I was a public-school elementary teacher in my former (pre-kid) life.
7) I used to pretend my bike was a horse and would ride it all over the yard (give me a break, I was ten).
8) I spend WAY too much time on the computer (oh, wait, that would be true for most of us, wouldn't it).
And let's see, now I have to tag eight people. I'm not on my desktop computer right now which has all my favorite blogs on it, so let's see if I can think of eight blogs I like to read that have NOT already been tagged. I tag:
The Adventures of Dino Boy
I'm an Organizing Junkie!
Life in the Hundred-Acre Wood
Looky, Daddy!
Mama's Ramblings
Random Musings of a Crazed Momma
Rocks in my Dryer
Your God Loves Me Too
Singing in the Choir (Just singing in the choir....)
Yesterday the cantor at the synagogue asked me to sing a solo at services because her voice was not 100% due to allergies (see, they're kicking everyone's butt). Very flattering. I had joined our all-volunteer choir when I was twelve and only recently had to drop out due to time constraints. DH's rehearsals are now at night (which is when choir rehearsal is), which just makes it extremely challenging to make it.
In any case, it was so nice to sing in a choir again! It feels like it's been so long since I've done any "real" singing, something besides singing the kids lullabies and changing the words to amuse myself. Most times if I try to sing in the car the kids oh so politely ask me to stop. I have to remind myself that people used to pay me to sing for them. It's a little bit of a kick to my ego to have my children beg me NOT to sing.
It was fabulous to hear compliments about my voice again. I'm an incredible perfectionist but even I could tell that my range has grown and my voice has gotten more resonant. I had always heard that women's voices do not fully develop until their mid-thirties. I'm a believer now! I was even able to easily hit the high g at the end of one song, something that used to always be a challenge to get a pure sound that high.
One of the ladies that I'm friendly with at the Temple is in the advanced stages of MS. She has been in an electric wheelchair-type chair for a while, but her speech is starting to be more halting and she is clearly starting to lose her memory. When I approached her after services last night, she complimented me, stating that she had never heard me sing before and questioning why I haven't sang solos with the choir before tonight. I've been a soloist in the choir for over twenty years, plus substituting for the cantor any time she can't make it. I know she has heard me sing before. That must be so awful to live with. I just can't imagine forgetting things that I used to know. I have never had a good memory, but to lose memories like that...I hope she doesn't even realize that she once knew it. Maybe that would make it easier.
In any case, it was so nice to sing in a choir again! It feels like it's been so long since I've done any "real" singing, something besides singing the kids lullabies and changing the words to amuse myself. Most times if I try to sing in the car the kids oh so politely ask me to stop. I have to remind myself that people used to pay me to sing for them. It's a little bit of a kick to my ego to have my children beg me NOT to sing.
It was fabulous to hear compliments about my voice again. I'm an incredible perfectionist but even I could tell that my range has grown and my voice has gotten more resonant. I had always heard that women's voices do not fully develop until their mid-thirties. I'm a believer now! I was even able to easily hit the high g at the end of one song, something that used to always be a challenge to get a pure sound that high.
One of the ladies that I'm friendly with at the Temple is in the advanced stages of MS. She has been in an electric wheelchair-type chair for a while, but her speech is starting to be more halting and she is clearly starting to lose her memory. When I approached her after services last night, she complimented me, stating that she had never heard me sing before and questioning why I haven't sang solos with the choir before tonight. I've been a soloist in the choir for over twenty years, plus substituting for the cantor any time she can't make it. I know she has heard me sing before. That must be so awful to live with. I just can't imagine forgetting things that I used to know. I have never had a good memory, but to lose memories like that...I hope she doesn't even realize that she once knew it. Maybe that would make it easier.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Allergies are kicking my butt
The kids have their Mother's Day program at school in a little bit, so I just have enough time to check in before I run off to be blown away by their singing. I'm all ready to go, "Aaawwww...."
Okay allergy sufferers, this question is for you: I've been taking OTC generic Claritin. It says non-drowsy. Does it make anyone else drowsy? I've been really good this week getting to bed on time, but I'm still feeling like I could take a nap at any time. I'm tired!
I drove over to our local Produce Junction (my normal weekly Friday trip) and could not even find a parking spot. I have veggies, really just need fruit, but it was so unbelievably crowded that I just gave up and came home. Now I have no fruit, didn't have any time to clean, need to leave home and won't be back until 2 because I'll be in charge of anywhere between three to twenty preschoolers which really zaps my energy, and I have so much to do around the house to make me feel better and not leave me in a funk this afternoon before I leave for my parents' house for Shabbat dinner at 5.
Sorry this post was not more interesting, but I'm tired!
Okay allergy sufferers, this question is for you: I've been taking OTC generic Claritin. It says non-drowsy. Does it make anyone else drowsy? I've been really good this week getting to bed on time, but I'm still feeling like I could take a nap at any time. I'm tired!
I drove over to our local Produce Junction (my normal weekly Friday trip) and could not even find a parking spot. I have veggies, really just need fruit, but it was so unbelievably crowded that I just gave up and came home. Now I have no fruit, didn't have any time to clean, need to leave home and won't be back until 2 because I'll be in charge of anywhere between three to twenty preschoolers which really zaps my energy, and I have so much to do around the house to make me feel better and not leave me in a funk this afternoon before I leave for my parents' house for Shabbat dinner at 5.
Sorry this post was not more interesting, but I'm tired!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
I'm Still Here
Don't worry, my faithful readers, you don't have to remove me from your favorites list (Okay, Kathy?!!), I'm still here! That stomach bug really threw me for a loop, and my computer is annoying the heck out of me, and I had a lot to make up for from being sick for a week, but I'm still here.
To summarize the past week:
* B sang me a "surprise" Mother's Day song (they're performing on Friday a special program for moms but he couldn't wait) which was so cute I couldn't help laughing as he sang and clapping when he was finished. Both B and A looked at me and quite indignantly told me that I was supposed to cry now - that's what their teacher told me all the moms would do.
* Got caught up on paperwork - woohoo!
* Did my first library show - 50 preschoolers from a local daycare whose teachers sat in the back and talked and I had to keep their attention, entertain, AND stop the few in the front from beating the cr*p out of the kids around them. Most of the kids were really, really into it, which was so cute to see, and the librarians and teachers all told me that I did a great job when the show was done. Not bad!
* I have been taking A for all kinds of evals the last couple weeks in preparation for kindergarten. Yesterday was speech, today is PT, last week was with the psychologist, the week before was OT. Time consuming, but he loves it!
* Been able to work in the yard a lot this week while the kids play around me. So nice that they're older now and can play more independently now.
* I've been rewarding myself for going to bed on time with a Starbucks Chai Tea Latte the next day. Two days in a row now! :)
Alright, have to pick them all up now. I'll try to get back in the habit of blogging every day.
To summarize the past week:
* B sang me a "surprise" Mother's Day song (they're performing on Friday a special program for moms but he couldn't wait) which was so cute I couldn't help laughing as he sang and clapping when he was finished. Both B and A looked at me and quite indignantly told me that I was supposed to cry now - that's what their teacher told me all the moms would do.
* Got caught up on paperwork - woohoo!
* Did my first library show - 50 preschoolers from a local daycare whose teachers sat in the back and talked and I had to keep their attention, entertain, AND stop the few in the front from beating the cr*p out of the kids around them. Most of the kids were really, really into it, which was so cute to see, and the librarians and teachers all told me that I did a great job when the show was done. Not bad!
* I have been taking A for all kinds of evals the last couple weeks in preparation for kindergarten. Yesterday was speech, today is PT, last week was with the psychologist, the week before was OT. Time consuming, but he loves it!
* Been able to work in the yard a lot this week while the kids play around me. So nice that they're older now and can play more independently now.
* I've been rewarding myself for going to bed on time with a Starbucks Chai Tea Latte the next day. Two days in a row now! :)
Alright, have to pick them all up now. I'll try to get back in the habit of blogging every day.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
I've felt better
Why does the sight of Mommy on the toilet, unable to get up without....making a mess, clutching a bucket as she also throws up over and over again, tell children that it would be a perfect time for all of them to clamor for attention?
I started getting sick a little before six AM. When I was finished, I crawled to the bedroom and called DH to come back home. He had to rearrange his schedule a lot, but he told me he'd be back by 7:30. I was sick again at 7 (that time the kids were awake). At that point I just kept reminding myself that DH would be home soon. I kept lifting my head from the bucket to tell them to stop talking to me or to get dressed, but they were a little freaked out and weren't being such good listeners. DH got home just in time for me to run to the bathroom and get sick again.
I was hoping to be able to just suck it up and have DH drive me to my first library show, perform, and go back home to bed, but by 8:30 it was clear it was not going to happen. Luckily the children's librarian was fine with rescheduling for the next week.
Not to go into too much detail (too late) but bottom line, starting around noon I was able to start keeping small sips of fluid down, but still have not been able to manage any of the foods on the BRAT diet. I had a high fever and such stomach cramping I was totally miserable.
I tried a little toast this morning, but obviously wasn't ready for that yet as I got sick right away. A was sick during the night and again this morning with major diarhea, so he's staying home again with me, but considering how weak I am right now, he better be content to just lie on the couch! My sister is picking up the other two for school so I don't have to drive this morning, but is unable to pick them up after school, so I better feel better by 12!
Okay, let's see if I can finish getting J and B ready for school now. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I'm hungry (but can't eat), and upstairs smells like crap due to A's problems during the night and early morning (have to get enough energy to at least wash all that stuff). Here goes!
I started getting sick a little before six AM. When I was finished, I crawled to the bedroom and called DH to come back home. He had to rearrange his schedule a lot, but he told me he'd be back by 7:30. I was sick again at 7 (that time the kids were awake). At that point I just kept reminding myself that DH would be home soon. I kept lifting my head from the bucket to tell them to stop talking to me or to get dressed, but they were a little freaked out and weren't being such good listeners. DH got home just in time for me to run to the bathroom and get sick again.
I was hoping to be able to just suck it up and have DH drive me to my first library show, perform, and go back home to bed, but by 8:30 it was clear it was not going to happen. Luckily the children's librarian was fine with rescheduling for the next week.
Not to go into too much detail (too late) but bottom line, starting around noon I was able to start keeping small sips of fluid down, but still have not been able to manage any of the foods on the BRAT diet. I had a high fever and such stomach cramping I was totally miserable.
I tried a little toast this morning, but obviously wasn't ready for that yet as I got sick right away. A was sick during the night and again this morning with major diarhea, so he's staying home again with me, but considering how weak I am right now, he better be content to just lie on the couch! My sister is picking up the other two for school so I don't have to drive this morning, but is unable to pick them up after school, so I better feel better by 12!
Okay, let's see if I can finish getting J and B ready for school now. My head hurts, my stomach hurts, I'm hungry (but can't eat), and upstairs smells like crap due to A's problems during the night and early morning (have to get enough energy to at least wash all that stuff). Here goes!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
What do I want?
What do I want out of my home life?
I want to have joy and laughter.
I want the kids to be happy, to be able to play independently and cooperatively.
I want DH and I to have peace when we walk into the house, to not feel stressed from the clutter and mess.
I want to be on top of all the paperwork that flies into my house each day, to not miss any more deadlines ever again.
What do I want out of my professional life?
I want to teach preschool, at least for now. When the kids are all through elementary school, or maybe sooner, I can envision teaching in public school again, hopefully kindergarten. But for now, teaching preschool part-time during the exact hours the kids are in school would be great. I would be able to help out with our financial difficulties - maybe we could even afford to take a vacation! Plus I LOVE teaching. Everytime I leave any classroom in which I have just spent time teaching I just feel like walking on air. I feel so great working with kids. I love figuring out how their minds work, and exposing them to new ideas and new activities. Can't wait until I find out for sure if I have the job or not.
I want my business to take off. I want to have about three to four parties a week. I want to have clients enjoy my service so much that they pass my name around to friends and that I actually have to tell people that I'm not available for the first date they ask about. I want to gain a reputation for entertaining kids so much that when someone (other than just people who know me) hears that I'm performing somewhere they make a point of bringing their kids to see me.
Can you tell that we had a life coach come to our last Mothers and More meeting last night? I'm working on getting my image of my ideal life written down so I can figure out the steps I need to take acheive it.
So what about you? How would you answer those questions? What do you want your home life and your professional life to be like? Write a post about it and link it back here! If you don't have your own blog, take some time and write your thoughts in the comments section. I'd love to know what you lurkers are thinking too!
I want to have joy and laughter.
I want the kids to be happy, to be able to play independently and cooperatively.
I want DH and I to have peace when we walk into the house, to not feel stressed from the clutter and mess.
I want to be on top of all the paperwork that flies into my house each day, to not miss any more deadlines ever again.
What do I want out of my professional life?
I want to teach preschool, at least for now. When the kids are all through elementary school, or maybe sooner, I can envision teaching in public school again, hopefully kindergarten. But for now, teaching preschool part-time during the exact hours the kids are in school would be great. I would be able to help out with our financial difficulties - maybe we could even afford to take a vacation! Plus I LOVE teaching. Everytime I leave any classroom in which I have just spent time teaching I just feel like walking on air. I feel so great working with kids. I love figuring out how their minds work, and exposing them to new ideas and new activities. Can't wait until I find out for sure if I have the job or not.
I want my business to take off. I want to have about three to four parties a week. I want to have clients enjoy my service so much that they pass my name around to friends and that I actually have to tell people that I'm not available for the first date they ask about. I want to gain a reputation for entertaining kids so much that when someone (other than just people who know me) hears that I'm performing somewhere they make a point of bringing their kids to see me.
Can you tell that we had a life coach come to our last Mothers and More meeting last night? I'm working on getting my image of my ideal life written down so I can figure out the steps I need to take acheive it.
So what about you? How would you answer those questions? What do you want your home life and your professional life to be like? Write a post about it and link it back here! If you don't have your own blog, take some time and write your thoughts in the comments section. I'd love to know what you lurkers are thinking too!
Random Bits of Tiredness
I handed in my resume on Monday and the director gave a big sigh of relief and started telling me all the thoughts she had about how I could handle the logistics of getting all three kids to school and picked up - she had a couple ways all planned out for me. That sounds promising! I can't wait until I know for sure. I don't do too well with waiting in limbo.
Monday night both A and J were coughing. A lot. A was coughing more, but it was keeping J awake and she was complaining about everything else: she was thirsty, she was hungry, she wanted to be tucked in again, she didn't want the cover on her, etc. A kept crying hysterically, and then J, while B on his top bunk had his pillow over his head to try to tune it all out. We finally got A settled but J kept going. After multiple threats, we finally had to move her into her room for the night. She was NOT happy. She had not slept on her own for many months, so we ultimately needed to do a gradual journey out of her room: first I sat in the rocking chair, then the floor near her crib, then by the door, then outside her door, each time I moved she looked up accusingly until I reassured her that I was right here, it's okay, go back to bed. This kept up until TWO in the morning, SEVEN hours past her regular bedtime!!! And yet she still woke up at 6:30 ready to go.
Last night I had a drink of iced tea without really thinking about caffiene and could not fall asleep. At all. Two nights in a row with very little sleep? I'm tired. And DH needs me to figure out a way to go to his brush up rehearsal tonight for the middle school show he has been directing. ARGH! I'm tired!!!
Alright, better see if I can find a babysitter for tonight before I go pick the kids up.
Monday night both A and J were coughing. A lot. A was coughing more, but it was keeping J awake and she was complaining about everything else: she was thirsty, she was hungry, she wanted to be tucked in again, she didn't want the cover on her, etc. A kept crying hysterically, and then J, while B on his top bunk had his pillow over his head to try to tune it all out. We finally got A settled but J kept going. After multiple threats, we finally had to move her into her room for the night. She was NOT happy. She had not slept on her own for many months, so we ultimately needed to do a gradual journey out of her room: first I sat in the rocking chair, then the floor near her crib, then by the door, then outside her door, each time I moved she looked up accusingly until I reassured her that I was right here, it's okay, go back to bed. This kept up until TWO in the morning, SEVEN hours past her regular bedtime!!! And yet she still woke up at 6:30 ready to go.
Last night I had a drink of iced tea without really thinking about caffiene and could not fall asleep. At all. Two nights in a row with very little sleep? I'm tired. And DH needs me to figure out a way to go to his brush up rehearsal tonight for the middle school show he has been directing. ARGH! I'm tired!!!
Alright, better see if I can find a babysitter for tonight before I go pick the kids up.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Random Bits of Craziness
I finally connected the desire to go to sleep all day if I could, wanting to go back to bed the moment that I get up, craving just lying down and pulling the covers over my head, with the feeling of being overwhelmed and out of control. Yep, I think it's time to up my depression meds. Or something.
I'm depressed. DH started giving me a hard time on Saturday about how stressful it is for him to come home to a messy house. Totally get that feeling - it's stressful for me too! When I explained to him the fact that I have been unable to get off my butt for most of this week except when I had a planned activity due to a flare up of my depression, he backed off immediately. And I did what I usually do to get back on track: I worked on organizing my upcoming week so that I won't feel so out of control. I made a meal plan spreadsheet for me to check off as I go as a way for me not to lose control with my eating. This should help with my weight loss. I finished my resume to hand in today (cross your fingers) to the kids' preschool, where the upcoming job opening is no longer confidential and I am HOPING I will be at the top of the list to get the job. And I sent out an e-mail to all people in my Mothers and More chapter to let them know that newsletter submissions HAVE to be handed in by today at noon so I can put the newsletter together by tonight. I should have sent out that e-mail last week, but kind of got lost in the whole out of control thing.
I had another library realize that they could not live without me providing entertainment for the kids that attend there. So now I'm up to four libraries that I will be performing at this summer, begining next Tuesday. Guess I better finish putting the show together!
I was able to meet with an old theater friend of mine yesterday at a fun fair that Mothers and More had a booth at. She has agreed to be my costume source for any and all parties (woohoo!) which is fabulous since I had a request for an Annie party and want to provide orphan dresses to all the girls and an Annie dress to the birthday girl so they can do a couple of songs from the show. My last communication from the mom was to check on a specific date, so it looks like 95% sure that she will be booking me.
My desktop computer is driving me crazy! Last night I used the laptop to check my work e-mail - totally necessary since this computer literally kicks me off at least a few times a session when I go to check my work e-mail. I know the computer is messed up, and I would like to bring it in to get it checked out. Maybe it won't cost too much to get fixed. DH is pushing to just get a new computer. That seems wasteful to me, but maybe cheaper in the long run. Maybe we would just get another laptop and leave it in the armoire.
Have to run - the kids just informed me that A has gotten the honey. Fun, fun, fun.
I'm depressed. DH started giving me a hard time on Saturday about how stressful it is for him to come home to a messy house. Totally get that feeling - it's stressful for me too! When I explained to him the fact that I have been unable to get off my butt for most of this week except when I had a planned activity due to a flare up of my depression, he backed off immediately. And I did what I usually do to get back on track: I worked on organizing my upcoming week so that I won't feel so out of control. I made a meal plan spreadsheet for me to check off as I go as a way for me not to lose control with my eating. This should help with my weight loss. I finished my resume to hand in today (cross your fingers) to the kids' preschool, where the upcoming job opening is no longer confidential and I am HOPING I will be at the top of the list to get the job. And I sent out an e-mail to all people in my Mothers and More chapter to let them know that newsletter submissions HAVE to be handed in by today at noon so I can put the newsletter together by tonight. I should have sent out that e-mail last week, but kind of got lost in the whole out of control thing.
I had another library realize that they could not live without me providing entertainment for the kids that attend there. So now I'm up to four libraries that I will be performing at this summer, begining next Tuesday. Guess I better finish putting the show together!
I was able to meet with an old theater friend of mine yesterday at a fun fair that Mothers and More had a booth at. She has agreed to be my costume source for any and all parties (woohoo!) which is fabulous since I had a request for an Annie party and want to provide orphan dresses to all the girls and an Annie dress to the birthday girl so they can do a couple of songs from the show. My last communication from the mom was to check on a specific date, so it looks like 95% sure that she will be booking me.
My desktop computer is driving me crazy! Last night I used the laptop to check my work e-mail - totally necessary since this computer literally kicks me off at least a few times a session when I go to check my work e-mail. I know the computer is messed up, and I would like to bring it in to get it checked out. Maybe it won't cost too much to get fixed. DH is pushing to just get a new computer. That seems wasteful to me, but maybe cheaper in the long run. Maybe we would just get another laptop and leave it in the armoire.
Have to run - the kids just informed me that A has gotten the honey. Fun, fun, fun.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
I Look Like WHAT?!!
Just saw some recent photographs of myself.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I'm able to turn my head this way or that way to avoid seeing what I don't want to see. If I see the hint of a double chin I lift up my head a little. If my face appears too full I adjust my hair to attempt to make it look slimmer.
But photos don't lie.
I'm really sick of my appearance. I don't want to be overweight. I don't feel good about myself, my clothes don't look good on me. I'm tired of the tire around my middle. I just don't like it. If I lost weight/was in shape I would have more energy. That is HUGE in my life.
And it comes down to willpower. I know there is no magic pill, no huge trick, no big revelation, I know I need to eat more fruits and vegetables, cut out all soda (can't stand the taste of diet and I've gotten into order a coke from McDonald's every time I need a caffine burst), avoid eating after 7:30/8, watch my portion sizes, keeps snacks down to no more than two a day, and get more exercise. I know it's not rocket science! I also know that I'm an emotional eater: I eat when I'm upset, or bored, or tired, or happy. I can make myself feel hungry if I think about it too much, so obviously I can't use that as a guide. I need to eat three healthy meals a day, allow myself two snacks, and drink more water when I feel empty.
And I need to keep a couple photos of myself on the fridge.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I'm able to turn my head this way or that way to avoid seeing what I don't want to see. If I see the hint of a double chin I lift up my head a little. If my face appears too full I adjust my hair to attempt to make it look slimmer.
But photos don't lie.
I'm really sick of my appearance. I don't want to be overweight. I don't feel good about myself, my clothes don't look good on me. I'm tired of the tire around my middle. I just don't like it. If I lost weight/was in shape I would have more energy. That is HUGE in my life.
And it comes down to willpower. I know there is no magic pill, no huge trick, no big revelation, I know I need to eat more fruits and vegetables, cut out all soda (can't stand the taste of diet and I've gotten into order a coke from McDonald's every time I need a caffine burst), avoid eating after 7:30/8, watch my portion sizes, keeps snacks down to no more than two a day, and get more exercise. I know it's not rocket science! I also know that I'm an emotional eater: I eat when I'm upset, or bored, or tired, or happy. I can make myself feel hungry if I think about it too much, so obviously I can't use that as a guide. I need to eat three healthy meals a day, allow myself two snacks, and drink more water when I feel empty.
And I need to keep a couple photos of myself on the fridge.
Friday, April 13, 2007
My Incredible Sister
Have I mentioned recently what an incredible sister I have? DH has been having MAJOR problems with the middle school show he is directing. When he came home so frustrated on Monday, DS and I offered to help, me going to the rehearsal and DS watching the kids. While I taught Hebrew School, DH brought the kids to DS' house after he gave them dinner. DS took care of giving them baths (my three plus her two), getting them all changed and ready for bed. When her husband came home, she drove my three back to my house and put them to bed.
That would be incredible unto itself, but here's where the REALLY incredible part took place. I have mentioned before that my sister does not really understand the meaning of "down time" - if I ever complain about that again, please remind me of this post! On Tuesday night, she cleaned my kitchen: scrubbed the floor, the stove top, the counters, the sink - it sparkled! On Wednesday, she cleaned the bathroom. The bathroom, people! She scrubbed the sink, the toilet, the tub and shower - it's cleaner than it's been in a long time.
I don't know how she does it, but I'm not at all complaining. I guess some people would have felt embarrassed or insulted. Me, I just felt incredible gratitude. Thank you, DS!!!
That would be incredible unto itself, but here's where the REALLY incredible part took place. I have mentioned before that my sister does not really understand the meaning of "down time" - if I ever complain about that again, please remind me of this post! On Tuesday night, she cleaned my kitchen: scrubbed the floor, the stove top, the counters, the sink - it sparkled! On Wednesday, she cleaned the bathroom. The bathroom, people! She scrubbed the sink, the toilet, the tub and shower - it's cleaner than it's been in a long time.
I don't know how she does it, but I'm not at all complaining. I guess some people would have felt embarrassed or insulted. Me, I just felt incredible gratitude. Thank you, DS!!!
Even more tired than before!
I have no question about why I'm tired today.
DH and I were up nearly all night taking turns with not one, not two, but all three kids.
A started it. He developed a cough around 9:30 or so. He kept coughing and crying, coughing and crying, no matter what we tried. This kept up until about 12. DH and I kept taking turns going in and trying to get him to fall asleep. We did everything we could: the vaporizer was on full blast, we propped A up on lots of pillows, his chest was smeared with Vicks Vapor Rub, he had a cup of water that he kept sipping from, he had some cough suppresant pills, I even gave him a little bucket in case he threw up from all that coughing. Around midnight he finally fell asleep. DH and I both dropped into our bed. But only for about fifteen minutes.
J began crying hysterically around 12:15. DH's turn. She couldn't find her pacifier (Yes, she still sleeps with a pacifier. Let's stay focused on the big picture here - she normally sleeps fine!) and clearly didn't feel great so she was very upset. DH searched all over her room and the boys' room for about thirty minutes but couldn't find it. Finally I joined him and found it within two minutes. No comment. J laid down, so did we. Within five minutes J was up and crying again about needing a drink of water. My turn. Two small cups of water later, we were all laying down and quiet.
B's turn: four times in a row, about an hour between each time awake, he began crying because of either a bad dream or because he was calling for his brother and his brother wasn't answering (B is now on the top bunk of their new bunk beds and is still not used to not seeing his brother at night). DH and I took turns responding to him.
J woke again around 4.
A coughed himself awake around 5.
B cried himself awake around 6, at which time I invited him into bed with me (DH had just left for school). He did not fall back asleep, so I while I was able to shut my eyes some more, I kept waking up because he was touching my face (I hate that!) or trying to talk to me.
A slept in until 8, and J slept in until 9:30 (three hours later than she normally does).
It's 10 AM, I'm still in my robe, the kids are downstairs watching a movie, a friend of the family is arriving at 11 so I can go to the Temple and set up for my preschool Shabbat program. She agreed to stay at home with all three kids so they can just rest and not expose everyone at school to their colds.
I have to jump in the shower and dress. I would LOVE to fall back asleep right now, but that's not possible. I was planning to have my incredible sister (see the next post) watch the kids after the preschool program so I could help DH at his rehearsal this afternoon, but I don't think that's happening today. Gotta make it through the day.
DH and I were up nearly all night taking turns with not one, not two, but all three kids.
A started it. He developed a cough around 9:30 or so. He kept coughing and crying, coughing and crying, no matter what we tried. This kept up until about 12. DH and I kept taking turns going in and trying to get him to fall asleep. We did everything we could: the vaporizer was on full blast, we propped A up on lots of pillows, his chest was smeared with Vicks Vapor Rub, he had a cup of water that he kept sipping from, he had some cough suppresant pills, I even gave him a little bucket in case he threw up from all that coughing. Around midnight he finally fell asleep. DH and I both dropped into our bed. But only for about fifteen minutes.
J began crying hysterically around 12:15. DH's turn. She couldn't find her pacifier (Yes, she still sleeps with a pacifier. Let's stay focused on the big picture here - she normally sleeps fine!) and clearly didn't feel great so she was very upset. DH searched all over her room and the boys' room for about thirty minutes but couldn't find it. Finally I joined him and found it within two minutes. No comment. J laid down, so did we. Within five minutes J was up and crying again about needing a drink of water. My turn. Two small cups of water later, we were all laying down and quiet.
B's turn: four times in a row, about an hour between each time awake, he began crying because of either a bad dream or because he was calling for his brother and his brother wasn't answering (B is now on the top bunk of their new bunk beds and is still not used to not seeing his brother at night). DH and I took turns responding to him.
J woke again around 4.
A coughed himself awake around 5.
B cried himself awake around 6, at which time I invited him into bed with me (DH had just left for school). He did not fall back asleep, so I while I was able to shut my eyes some more, I kept waking up because he was touching my face (I hate that!) or trying to talk to me.
A slept in until 8, and J slept in until 9:30 (three hours later than she normally does).
It's 10 AM, I'm still in my robe, the kids are downstairs watching a movie, a friend of the family is arriving at 11 so I can go to the Temple and set up for my preschool Shabbat program. She agreed to stay at home with all three kids so they can just rest and not expose everyone at school to their colds.
I have to jump in the shower and dress. I would LOVE to fall back asleep right now, but that's not possible. I was planning to have my incredible sister (see the next post) watch the kids after the preschool program so I could help DH at his rehearsal this afternoon, but I don't think that's happening today. Gotta make it through the day.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
So tired
I'm tired.
I don't know why. I was in bed by 10, lights out. The kids woke us up a few times, but only for a little bit each time. I had set my alarm for 6:30, but couldn't get my butt out of bed, even once the kids were awake and in my room. I finally rolled out of bed around 7:30. Maybe starting the day like that, hitting the snooze alarm so many times, is the reason that I am still so tired even now.
I ended up being needed to sub at the kids' school, which was fun, but meant I couldn't get the huge pile of laundry done or finish my resume to apply for the preschool teacher position I want.
At 3:30 I will leave to go back to the Temple to teach Hebrew School.
When I get finished, I will drive the kids over to my sister's with DH so I can go with him to his rehearsal for the show he's currently directing at the Middle School. He is having such a hard time working with these kids! I don't know if it's the age (middle school kids are tough) or if the kids are actually trying to make it hard for him because they miss the teacher who is out on maternity leave. I told him that I would help however I could, so I'm going to rehearsal tonight to try to whip these kids into shape.
And to top it all off, my back hurts so bad. I know it's muscular because I can pinpoint the exact spots where it hurts. I have to get in to see the chiropractor immediately! I know he will make it better; just have to make the time for it.
But, bottom line, I'm tired. REALLY tired. I have to continue to get to bed before 10. It's sad that by 2 today I was counting the hours until I could go to bed. I'm hoping that if I keep getting to bed on time and STOP hitting the snooze button, I'll start doing better. For now, I'm going downstairs to make myself a cup of Chai Tea Latte - I keep bugging Giant until the restock the shelves with the concentrate that Starbucks uses. This last time they called me when the new shipment came in and kept a case behind the customer service desk just for me.
I don't know why. I was in bed by 10, lights out. The kids woke us up a few times, but only for a little bit each time. I had set my alarm for 6:30, but couldn't get my butt out of bed, even once the kids were awake and in my room. I finally rolled out of bed around 7:30. Maybe starting the day like that, hitting the snooze alarm so many times, is the reason that I am still so tired even now.
I ended up being needed to sub at the kids' school, which was fun, but meant I couldn't get the huge pile of laundry done or finish my resume to apply for the preschool teacher position I want.
At 3:30 I will leave to go back to the Temple to teach Hebrew School.
When I get finished, I will drive the kids over to my sister's with DH so I can go with him to his rehearsal for the show he's currently directing at the Middle School. He is having such a hard time working with these kids! I don't know if it's the age (middle school kids are tough) or if the kids are actually trying to make it hard for him because they miss the teacher who is out on maternity leave. I told him that I would help however I could, so I'm going to rehearsal tonight to try to whip these kids into shape.
And to top it all off, my back hurts so bad. I know it's muscular because I can pinpoint the exact spots where it hurts. I have to get in to see the chiropractor immediately! I know he will make it better; just have to make the time for it.
But, bottom line, I'm tired. REALLY tired. I have to continue to get to bed before 10. It's sad that by 2 today I was counting the hours until I could go to bed. I'm hoping that if I keep getting to bed on time and STOP hitting the snooze button, I'll start doing better. For now, I'm going downstairs to make myself a cup of Chai Tea Latte - I keep bugging Giant until the restock the shelves with the concentrate that Starbucks uses. This last time they called me when the new shipment came in and kept a case behind the customer service desk just for me.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Brrrrr!
It's just not right that we had to put on our winter coats so we could go outside and look for eggs at my in-laws' house this morning. It's not right that even with our coats on and zipped we were still trying to rush so we could get back inside. It's not right that Christmas was WARMER than it was today.
I've got to close this computer down and get under the covers with DH - it's cold!!!
I've got to close this computer down and get under the covers with DH - it's cold!!!
Saturday, April 07, 2007
You Say It's Your Birthday . . .
It's my birthday too, yeah...
Happy birthday to me!
Being the organizing dork that I am, as a birthday gift to myself I had two incredible friends come over this morning and they did a Clean Sweep of the kids' playroom/my pantry. The room looks incredible now. After we had pulled everything out of the pantry/closet where everything went when I couldn't figure out where else it should go, I got to the point where I was so totally overwhelmed I wanted to shove it all back in and forget about it. That's when good friends come in handy. They kept shoving things at me to make me sort, focusing me on one thing at a time. And any time I started vascillating on whether or not I should keep something, like the bookends I was given when the boys were born (FIVE YEARS AGO!) with B's name mispelled that I had always meant to return to the store and have them fix, they said my name sternly and MADE me get rid of it.
I have good friends.
Happy birthday to me!
Being the organizing dork that I am, as a birthday gift to myself I had two incredible friends come over this morning and they did a Clean Sweep of the kids' playroom/my pantry. The room looks incredible now. After we had pulled everything out of the pantry/closet where everything went when I couldn't figure out where else it should go, I got to the point where I was so totally overwhelmed I wanted to shove it all back in and forget about it. That's when good friends come in handy. They kept shoving things at me to make me sort, focusing me on one thing at a time. And any time I started vascillating on whether or not I should keep something, like the bookends I was given when the boys were born (FIVE YEARS AGO!) with B's name mispelled that I had always meant to return to the store and have them fix, they said my name sternly and MADE me get rid of it.
I have good friends.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Gratitude and Support
I started reading Strange Son by Portia Iversen (the co-founder of CAN) last night and I just can't put it down. Much of the book is about her relationship with a boy named Tito, a severely autistic nonverbal boy from India whose mother taught him to read, write, and communicate. He has an IQ of 185 and has written two books, being able to offer an incredible insight into the inner world of children with autism. It is fascinating! I know how lucky I am that my son is so high functioning, but reading about this child who after communicating with Portia his thoughts and feelings comes to her house and must obsessively make eight destructive laps of her entire house, with seemingly no control over his body, who cannot seem to utilize more than one of his senses at a time, it in turn makes me understand some of my own child's idiosyncracies a little more and incredibly grateful that he has as much control over himself as he does. And as he runs over to me three times as I write this to announce, "I love you," and am again reminded of what an incredible gift this ability to communicate verbally is, which I need to remember when he chatters on incessantly all day long, demanding responses or he will continue to repeat his questions or comments without end.
I signed the kids up to a local kids' gym for the next two days. They are so excited to spend the day running through the tunnels and ball pits and participate in the organized gymnastic activities. The only down side is that DH or I will have to be in the building 100% of the time since A is not potty trained yet. My day to be there is today, so I'm packing up a lot of stuff to work on while they play. I'm bringing Strange Son to finish reading along with lots of paperwork, but the most important thing I'm bringing is my laptop and two books of sample resumes for teachers. Yes, I'm going to apply for the preschool teacher position and work out the logistics if I get it. DH was not thrilled; he's concerned that A MIGHT have trouble adjusting to kindergarten and need my help during those first few weeks of school. I plan to expose the boys to their new school and teacher gradually over the summer during the last few weeks of school to help with any transition problems he might have and line up trusted loved ones to be on stand by in case they are needed, but still I get guilt from my DH that I won't be the actual person standing by, ready to run to school in case our child is having a temper tantrum. I pointed out to him that he actually does better at school than at home, having few irrational fears and less temper tantrums than he does at home, and that made DH feel a little better. I also feel that to not apply for and attempt to get a part-time teaching job that will make me feel so fulfilled and happy on the off chance that I might be needed by my children during the three hours that I'm teaching (the same three hours that ALL THREE of them will be in school) is not fair. I have never needed to come to school to assist with A in any way, so I am not sure why DH feels that kindergarten will be so incredibly different. In any case, I think I got DH to understand that I mainly just needed his support on this, needed to hear him say, "I will support you in this endeavor because I know it's something that you want. Here are my concerns; let's figure out how we can address them." We ended our discussion last night pretty much on the same page, and we're going to take it one step at a time.
I signed the kids up to a local kids' gym for the next two days. They are so excited to spend the day running through the tunnels and ball pits and participate in the organized gymnastic activities. The only down side is that DH or I will have to be in the building 100% of the time since A is not potty trained yet. My day to be there is today, so I'm packing up a lot of stuff to work on while they play. I'm bringing Strange Son to finish reading along with lots of paperwork, but the most important thing I'm bringing is my laptop and two books of sample resumes for teachers. Yes, I'm going to apply for the preschool teacher position and work out the logistics if I get it. DH was not thrilled; he's concerned that A MIGHT have trouble adjusting to kindergarten and need my help during those first few weeks of school. I plan to expose the boys to their new school and teacher gradually over the summer during the last few weeks of school to help with any transition problems he might have and line up trusted loved ones to be on stand by in case they are needed, but still I get guilt from my DH that I won't be the actual person standing by, ready to run to school in case our child is having a temper tantrum. I pointed out to him that he actually does better at school than at home, having few irrational fears and less temper tantrums than he does at home, and that made DH feel a little better. I also feel that to not apply for and attempt to get a part-time teaching job that will make me feel so fulfilled and happy on the off chance that I might be needed by my children during the three hours that I'm teaching (the same three hours that ALL THREE of them will be in school) is not fair. I have never needed to come to school to assist with A in any way, so I am not sure why DH feels that kindergarten will be so incredibly different. In any case, I think I got DH to understand that I mainly just needed his support on this, needed to hear him say, "I will support you in this endeavor because I know it's something that you want. Here are my concerns; let's figure out how we can address them." We ended our discussion last night pretty much on the same page, and we're going to take it one step at a time.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
April Adventures
I'm accepting the challenge to post every day during this month. And that's all the time (and energy) I have to post right now, but I plan on going to bed on time tonight and will therefore have more energy tomorrow.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Passover is coming! Passover is coming!
Today is my day to clean. And not just the bathroom or vacuum the rugs. Passover is coming, so we're talking SERIOUS cleaning!
So far today I have cleaned out the toaster (how many crumbs were in there - can we say "Fire Hazard"?) and scrubbed down the coffee maker, took all my cooking and baking foods out of the cabinets, sorting them into piles of Kosher for Passover and Chumutz (non-Kosher for Passover), scrubbing out the shelves in said cabinets, and putting all Kosher for Passover foods back in the cabinets. All other foods went into either one cabinet that we won't open for the week of Passover or a box. My children have now learned that there is a tradition to "sell" your non-kosher food to someone who is not Jewish and then "buy" it back when Passover is done, so I'm going to have to call my neighbors to find someone willing to store a box of food for the week. The kids are very excited about this idea.
My goal is to be done the kitchen in the next hour and a half. At two I need to be at my in-laws for Easter egg dying with the kids (yes, I'm aware of the incongruity of these two events). When I return I will begin my baking for the week, starting with the Kosher "bagels" my Aunt Yetta passed down to my mom who passed it down to me (or at least she will when I call her as I do every year to get the recipe - you'd think I'd finally write down my own copy).
And my timer just went off, so my ten-minute break is over. Back to work!
So far today I have cleaned out the toaster (how many crumbs were in there - can we say "Fire Hazard"?) and scrubbed down the coffee maker, took all my cooking and baking foods out of the cabinets, sorting them into piles of Kosher for Passover and Chumutz (non-Kosher for Passover), scrubbing out the shelves in said cabinets, and putting all Kosher for Passover foods back in the cabinets. All other foods went into either one cabinet that we won't open for the week of Passover or a box. My children have now learned that there is a tradition to "sell" your non-kosher food to someone who is not Jewish and then "buy" it back when Passover is done, so I'm going to have to call my neighbors to find someone willing to store a box of food for the week. The kids are very excited about this idea.
My goal is to be done the kitchen in the next hour and a half. At two I need to be at my in-laws for Easter egg dying with the kids (yes, I'm aware of the incongruity of these two events). When I return I will begin my baking for the week, starting with the Kosher "bagels" my Aunt Yetta passed down to my mom who passed it down to me (or at least she will when I call her as I do every year to get the recipe - you'd think I'd finally write down my own copy).
And my timer just went off, so my ten-minute break is over. Back to work!
A J Funny
J: When I grow up I want to be a kitty cat and Santa Claus.
Mommy: Why?
J: So I can go "Meow, meow" and "Ho, Ho, Ho!"
Well, duh, why didn't I think of that?!!
Special note: J is terrified of all animals, especially cats, and as for Santa Claus - Hello, we're Jewish!!!
Mommy: Why?
J: So I can go "Meow, meow" and "Ho, Ho, Ho!"
Well, duh, why didn't I think of that?!!
Special note: J is terrified of all animals, especially cats, and as for Santa Claus - Hello, we're Jewish!!!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Unexpected Opportunities
I was offered a potential job teaching a preschool class from 9-12 five days a week. It's not a guarenteed job, but I'm being given the heads up from the director to hand in my resume if I'm interested.
So...am I interested?
I had planned to begin teaching preschool when the boys were old enough to attend. Then I got pregnant with J and that plan had to change.
Teaching part time would give me the opportunity to teach again more than I'm doing now. I leave school every time I teach (Hebrew School, Religious School) so energized, almost walking on air. I really, really enjoy it.
My first concern was how I would deal with driving the kids to school, since they would need to be at kindergarten AFTER I would need to be at school and be picked up BEFORE I would be done. My sister thinks she can help with this, but can't 100% commit because she is consulting with her old job for a big project that will occur in October, so September and October might be a little crazy for her. But my mom also agreed that she would be able to help with driving. I also have a friend whose son might be in the same kindergarten class as the boys, and I might be able to get her to drive the boys to and from school, but that might be a huge imposition.
My other concern is how I would be able to continue getting everything done around the house like I've been doing. I've REALLY been enjoying having three mornings with all three kids in school, and I would lose that. BUT with the extra income I could afford to have all three kids stay at J's preschool twice a week after school for the enrichment program, giving me about two hours twice a week sans kids that I could use to pay bills, do paperwork, etc. PLUS I would have from now until September to "finish" organizing the house, in theory, which would make life easier. And I seem to think I might even use my time better if I had a set schedule every day.
Hmmmmm.....
So...am I interested?
I had planned to begin teaching preschool when the boys were old enough to attend. Then I got pregnant with J and that plan had to change.
Teaching part time would give me the opportunity to teach again more than I'm doing now. I leave school every time I teach (Hebrew School, Religious School) so energized, almost walking on air. I really, really enjoy it.
My first concern was how I would deal with driving the kids to school, since they would need to be at kindergarten AFTER I would need to be at school and be picked up BEFORE I would be done. My sister thinks she can help with this, but can't 100% commit because she is consulting with her old job for a big project that will occur in October, so September and October might be a little crazy for her. But my mom also agreed that she would be able to help with driving. I also have a friend whose son might be in the same kindergarten class as the boys, and I might be able to get her to drive the boys to and from school, but that might be a huge imposition.
My other concern is how I would be able to continue getting everything done around the house like I've been doing. I've REALLY been enjoying having three mornings with all three kids in school, and I would lose that. BUT with the extra income I could afford to have all three kids stay at J's preschool twice a week after school for the enrichment program, giving me about two hours twice a week sans kids that I could use to pay bills, do paperwork, etc. PLUS I would have from now until September to "finish" organizing the house, in theory, which would make life easier. And I seem to think I might even use my time better if I had a set schedule every day.
Hmmmmm.....
Monday, March 26, 2007
This Was Not in the Manual
If someone had told me before I had kids that I would have to physically hold them down so I could pour drops into their ear to wash out the canal full of wax and dried blood while my daughter screamed, "No, Mommy, I don't care if my ear feels better! Stop, Mommy! Ow, it hurts, it hurts!" and that when it was over she would only go to my husband for a hug and not let me touch her, I don't know if I would have agreed to all of this.
J woke up Thursday from her nap complaining that her ear hurt. Took her to the doctor that afternoon (The other two were on amoxicillan at the time for various things, what's one more?) to get checked out. The doctor looked in her right ear but couldn't see anything due to the large amount of wax in the canal. He got his little tool, had me hold her down (fun), and began digging to attempt to remove the wax. The tool he had was not working so he had to stop, go into another room, get yet another tool, and start again. Finally he removed a large chunk of wax, but there was still too much in her ear for him to determine if she had an infection. By this time she was hysterically crying, so I scooped her up and comforted her. He told me that he accidentally nicked the inside of her canal. There was no blood, it looked fine, we left with a prescription to fill in case she continues to complain about ear pain and instructions to give drops of equal parts hydrogen peroxide and water to clean out the wax. She was hysterical even after we got home, at one point crying, "Ican't stop crying!" It was really pathetic.
That night she had a hard time falling asleep. Apparently she usually sleeps on her right side and laying on her ear hurt (understandably). When she woke up and came to me in the morning, I had to check myself to stop from gasping too loud. Her entire ear and side of her face were covered with dried blood. She hadn't realized this yet (though was puzzled at the red on her fingers) so I was able to casually clean off her cheek somewhat, but going near her ear made her scream and put her hands over it. I totally understood that she was terrified to let me go near her ear after the day before, but I had to clean the dried blood out of her ear. I worked on it with a warm washcloth several times that day and managed to clean all but the inner ear.
Which brings us to tonight.
Nothing says love like doing what needs to be done to make your child feel better even if it makes them scared of you in the short (oh, it had better be short) term. Really. Now if I could just convince myself of that....
J woke up Thursday from her nap complaining that her ear hurt. Took her to the doctor that afternoon (The other two were on amoxicillan at the time for various things, what's one more?) to get checked out. The doctor looked in her right ear but couldn't see anything due to the large amount of wax in the canal. He got his little tool, had me hold her down (fun), and began digging to attempt to remove the wax. The tool he had was not working so he had to stop, go into another room, get yet another tool, and start again. Finally he removed a large chunk of wax, but there was still too much in her ear for him to determine if she had an infection. By this time she was hysterically crying, so I scooped her up and comforted her. He told me that he accidentally nicked the inside of her canal. There was no blood, it looked fine, we left with a prescription to fill in case she continues to complain about ear pain and instructions to give drops of equal parts hydrogen peroxide and water to clean out the wax. She was hysterical even after we got home, at one point crying, "I
That night she had a hard time falling asleep. Apparently she usually sleeps on her right side and laying on her ear hurt (understandably). When she woke up and came to me in the morning, I had to check myself to stop from gasping too loud. Her entire ear and side of her face were covered with dried blood. She hadn't realized this yet (though was puzzled at the red on her fingers) so I was able to casually clean off her cheek somewhat, but going near her ear made her scream and put her hands over it. I totally understood that she was terrified to let me go near her ear after the day before, but I had to clean the dried blood out of her ear. I worked on it with a warm washcloth several times that day and managed to clean all but the inner ear.
Which brings us to tonight.
Nothing says love like doing what needs to be done to make your child feel better even if it makes them scared of you in the short (oh, it had better be short) term. Really. Now if I could just convince myself of that....
Saturday, March 24, 2007
I've Updated - finally!
Yes, it's true, you can now read an updated list of blogs, websites, and a new and improved profile. Woohoo.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
I Feel Huge
I'm tired of this.
My weight is going in the wrong direction. My clothes aren't fitting, I hate looking at myself in the mirror, I don't even want to be in any pictures.
I'm praying that this feeling will give me the motivation to stick with the my plan to eat right. I can't take this anymore.
BLECH!
My weight is going in the wrong direction. My clothes aren't fitting, I hate looking at myself in the mirror, I don't even want to be in any pictures.
I'm praying that this feeling will give me the motivation to stick with the my plan to eat right. I can't take this anymore.
BLECH!
Comedy of Errors
The whining, the screaming, the crying - and that's the girl who's not sick!
Monday afternoon, with B sick sick sick (we found out yesterday it was strep, he's now on antibiotics and feeling much better, but as of Monday he just had a very high fever and felt like crap) and A at a birthday party (another mom from school took him and he did great without me there - yes!), J decided it was time to just cry. She cried if I talked to her, she cried if I didn't. She screamed if I ignored her and screamed louder if I gave her attention. It was a very long day, and no, she wasn't sick. She was making me sick, but she herself is fine.
After offering a huge list of different things that we could do, I finally silenced her with the offer of painting her nails. We had never done that before, so I hoped the novelty of it would not just silence her but actually make her happy. I was half right.
J sat on my lap and quietly watched while I painted her nails. She seemed to love the attention and I thought I had found the solution, the antidote to her unhappiness. It was short-lived. She soon touched a nail and became very upset that some of the polish was now on her finer and the nail was very smudged. I tried to fix it, but then two fingers on the other hand got stuck together when the nail touched the other finger. By now she was crying hysterically again. So I ran to the closet to get the polish remover (and almost sent an emergency call to anyone to run out and buy us some more nail polish remover when I couldn't find it, but luckily I eventually located it).
I calmed her down again when I started removing the polish. Okay, no big deal. Until she touched her still damp finger to her tongue and began gagging and crying hysterically at the awful taste. I grabbed her and brought her to the bathroom were I got her to drink a lot of water and rinse out her mouth as much as possible. Then we washed her hands multiple times so she wouldn't get the smell or taste in her mouth again.
Wow, what a winning idea painting her nails turned out to be.
Monday afternoon, with B sick sick sick (we found out yesterday it was strep, he's now on antibiotics and feeling much better, but as of Monday he just had a very high fever and felt like crap) and A at a birthday party (another mom from school took him and he did great without me there - yes!), J decided it was time to just cry. She cried if I talked to her, she cried if I didn't. She screamed if I ignored her and screamed louder if I gave her attention. It was a very long day, and no, she wasn't sick. She was making me sick, but she herself is fine.
After offering a huge list of different things that we could do, I finally silenced her with the offer of painting her nails. We had never done that before, so I hoped the novelty of it would not just silence her but actually make her happy. I was half right.
J sat on my lap and quietly watched while I painted her nails. She seemed to love the attention and I thought I had found the solution, the antidote to her unhappiness. It was short-lived. She soon touched a nail and became very upset that some of the polish was now on her finer and the nail was very smudged. I tried to fix it, but then two fingers on the other hand got stuck together when the nail touched the other finger. By now she was crying hysterically again. So I ran to the closet to get the polish remover (and almost sent an emergency call to anyone to run out and buy us some more nail polish remover when I couldn't find it, but luckily I eventually located it).
I calmed her down again when I started removing the polish. Okay, no big deal. Until she touched her still damp finger to her tongue and began gagging and crying hysterically at the awful taste. I grabbed her and brought her to the bathroom were I got her to drink a lot of water and rinse out her mouth as much as possible. Then we washed her hands multiple times so she wouldn't get the smell or taste in her mouth again.
Wow, what a winning idea painting her nails turned out to be.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Busy, busy, busy!
B woke with a high fever today, so we cancelled the playdate I had scheduled for today for J and made arrangements for A to be taken to an afternoon birthday party for today.
Arrived at the Temple yesterday for religious school only to discover that the parking lots were a thick sheet of ice. We quickly made the decision that we had to cancel for the day since we didn't want anyone to fall. Spent the next hour calling all the kids in our classes to tell them not to come. Had time at home to relieve DH from watching the kids so he could get some school work completed, then had some time alone to work on some paperwork before heading to my in-laws for dinner.
J's birthday party was Saturday, and while we contemplated having to cancel due to the freak snow/ice storm from Friday, we didn't need to and she loved having her friends come over for a Wiggles party. Later that day we hosted the whole family for dinner and cake.
Friday A woke screaming that his ear hurt. Knew it was an ear infection, but still needed to bring him to the doctor for confirmation and medication. Sleet/freezing rain began early in the morning and soon gave way to snow and ice. We had to cancel my preschool lunchtime Shabbat program. My incredible sister came over with my niece and nephew for lunch and then stayed until dinner. We tried to get the kids to take a nap, but they all refused, making it a loooong afternoon. Got in a big fight with DH since I saw no problem with going to my parents' for Shabbat dinner (especially since we had to shovel their driveway anyway) but I found the roads fine as long as I drove carefully. My sister, DH, and I all took time shoveling out their driveway, though when we left after dinner, my parents' driveway looked like we hadn't even touched it.
It's been busy over here!
I have a ton of laundry to do today, and a lot of little areas to declutter and clean around the house, so B and J are camped out on the couch watching tv (only way I can get B to rest, and there's no way I can make B do it and not let J). I'm off!
Arrived at the Temple yesterday for religious school only to discover that the parking lots were a thick sheet of ice. We quickly made the decision that we had to cancel for the day since we didn't want anyone to fall. Spent the next hour calling all the kids in our classes to tell them not to come. Had time at home to relieve DH from watching the kids so he could get some school work completed, then had some time alone to work on some paperwork before heading to my in-laws for dinner.
J's birthday party was Saturday, and while we contemplated having to cancel due to the freak snow/ice storm from Friday, we didn't need to and she loved having her friends come over for a Wiggles party. Later that day we hosted the whole family for dinner and cake.
Friday A woke screaming that his ear hurt. Knew it was an ear infection, but still needed to bring him to the doctor for confirmation and medication. Sleet/freezing rain began early in the morning and soon gave way to snow and ice. We had to cancel my preschool lunchtime Shabbat program. My incredible sister came over with my niece and nephew for lunch and then stayed until dinner. We tried to get the kids to take a nap, but they all refused, making it a loooong afternoon. Got in a big fight with DH since I saw no problem with going to my parents' for Shabbat dinner (especially since we had to shovel their driveway anyway) but I found the roads fine as long as I drove carefully. My sister, DH, and I all took time shoveling out their driveway, though when we left after dinner, my parents' driveway looked like we hadn't even touched it.
It's been busy over here!
I have a ton of laundry to do today, and a lot of little areas to declutter and clean around the house, so B and J are camped out on the couch watching tv (only way I can get B to rest, and there's no way I can make B do it and not let J). I'm off!
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Money, Money, Money, Money
I just read a book about a mom with three kids who was homeless - they all lived in the car. She worked, waiting tables, trying to save up enough money to be able to afford a security deposit and first month's rent for an apartment, which she eventually does.
How dare I complain about money?
Yes, money is tight here, and we are currently living paycheck to paycheck. Yes, it's hard some months to pay the mortgage, and I need to budget very carefully to pay for the groceries. BUT I have a roof over my head. We have insurance. We are all wearing clothes and even have our own washing machine and dryer to keep them clean, and the electricty to run it.
I need to stop looking at the glass as half emtpy. At least we can afford the glass.
How dare I complain about money?
Yes, money is tight here, and we are currently living paycheck to paycheck. Yes, it's hard some months to pay the mortgage, and I need to budget very carefully to pay for the groceries. BUT I have a roof over my head. We have insurance. We are all wearing clothes and even have our own washing machine and dryer to keep them clean, and the electricty to run it.
I need to stop looking at the glass as half emtpy. At least we can afford the glass.
Finally
I'm not too fond of Blogger these days.
I have had so much to say, so much to record, so much I've been thinking about, and for some reason, Blogger has not been letting me get on my account to update my blog.
One really important thing happened Monday - did you hear the cheers coming from our house? A told me that he just pooped (a huge thing by itself since he usually has little awareness of his bodily funtions) and while I was cleaning him off, he told me that he thought he had a little more poop inside of him. He agreed to sit on the potty and actually managed to push a little bit of poop out. The smile that came over his face at his accomplishment was priceless (though the pricetag on the Gameboy he received as his reward, promised months ago, was HUGE!) - clearly he was not scared or upset about the poop going in the toilet instead of his pull-up or any such scenario as I imagined. He hasn't repeated this enormous event since then, but did voluntarily sit on the potty at school to try to do it again. Hopefully this is the start, the "breakthrough" that we needed, and we will be able to get him to do this more and more often. I'm just so incredibly proud of him!
I have had so much to say, so much to record, so much I've been thinking about, and for some reason, Blogger has not been letting me get on my account to update my blog.
One really important thing happened Monday - did you hear the cheers coming from our house? A told me that he just pooped (a huge thing by itself since he usually has little awareness of his bodily funtions) and while I was cleaning him off, he told me that he thought he had a little more poop inside of him. He agreed to sit on the potty and actually managed to push a little bit of poop out. The smile that came over his face at his accomplishment was priceless (though the pricetag on the Gameboy he received as his reward, promised months ago, was HUGE!) - clearly he was not scared or upset about the poop going in the toilet instead of his pull-up or any such scenario as I imagined. He hasn't repeated this enormous event since then, but did voluntarily sit on the potty at school to try to do it again. Hopefully this is the start, the "breakthrough" that we needed, and we will be able to get him to do this more and more often. I'm just so incredibly proud of him!
Friday, March 09, 2007
What Do You Think?
I need some advice.
I just got a call from someone who wants to hire me for her son's birthday party. Great! However, it's a very specific theme (Herbie the Love Bug) which I doubt anyone else will want, though I might be able to use some aspects again with other more common themes (cars, racing). This wouldn't be a big deal, but she won't commit until I send her the proposed list of things I will do with her kids. She wants to make sure it will definitely keep the kids' attention.
My concern is what if I do all the planning, send her the ideas, and she doesn't hire me, choosing instead to do it herself (using my ideas). I will have spent the time researching/planning without any compensation for it.
I guess I can plan stuff out and try to keep it more general. I just don't know.
What do you think?
I just got a call from someone who wants to hire me for her son's birthday party. Great! However, it's a very specific theme (Herbie the Love Bug) which I doubt anyone else will want, though I might be able to use some aspects again with other more common themes (cars, racing). This wouldn't be a big deal, but she won't commit until I send her the proposed list of things I will do with her kids. She wants to make sure it will definitely keep the kids' attention.
My concern is what if I do all the planning, send her the ideas, and she doesn't hire me, choosing instead to do it herself (using my ideas). I will have spent the time researching/planning without any compensation for it.
I guess I can plan stuff out and try to keep it more general. I just don't know.
What do you think?
Thirteen Letters To Whom It May Concern
To Whom It May Concern:
1) Blogger hijacked my blog until I agreed to sign up for the new version. Since I did that it has given me more trouble than I ever had before to get into my blog to write a new post. I would like to switch back to the old version immediately OR have this problem resolved so I don't end up with five different blog posts floating around in my head.
2) Please find the sweet little girl that you stole from my house and replaced with this whiny, pushy, bossy one. The boys and I would really like her back.
3) When I took my five year old son to the "Dysfunctional Outpatient Voiding and Eliminating" Clinic (DOVE for short) I expected to receive some advice on helping him learn how to use the toilet. I did not want to hear that he just might not be ready to learn yet since he still has bowel movements in his sleep. That is NOT helpful. He is five. I do not want him going to kindergarten in diapers. Please rethink your advice and create that magic pill that I was seeking.
4) The parking garage at the DOVE clinic is the most poorly designed that I have ever seen. I spent literally twenty-five minutes driving around the garage to find a spot. Granted, it was a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate to my son various techniques to use when upset (see how Mommy takes deep breaths) it would not have been necessary it the garage was not so counter-intuitive in design. Please create a new design and submit it to me by next week.
5) The dishwasher fairy no longer lives in our house. Do not lay your used ice cream spoon on the side of the sink and expect her to magically transport it into the dishwasher - please do it yourself.
6) When you receive the flyer advertising an incredible new birthday party service and it has a coupon attached to it that expires at the end of the month, please be inspired to book your child's next birthday party immediately. Miss R's new business is still in the red.
7) My family quite enjoyed the warm weather that we had next week and was quite surprised when the cold weather appeared and the snow fell on Wednesday. Please keep in mind that it is now March. We expect spring to be arriving any day now. Please cooperate with this expectation.
8) Removing Thursday from my consciousness was not a very nice thing to do. I was quite surprised yesterday when I looked at the Thursday Thirteen site and saw so many postings, especially since it was Wednesday (at least in my mind). I have too much to do to lose a day like that.
9) I just started the Best Life Diet and am loving it.
10) If you are a library and you received an e-mail describing an incredible show based on the state's summer theme "Find a clue at the library" you should be falling over yourself to book a date for your library. Again, Miss R's business is still in the red.
11) We are waiting quite impatiently for our income tax return to arrive.
12) My children are quite desperate for the bunk beds we will be buying as soon as we receive it, especially J since she is currently sleeping on a mattress that is on the floor of the boys' room.
13) Finding thirteen ideas for letters was NOT as easy as I thought it would be. Please remind me of that if I ever want to do this again.
1) Blogger hijacked my blog until I agreed to sign up for the new version. Since I did that it has given me more trouble than I ever had before to get into my blog to write a new post. I would like to switch back to the old version immediately OR have this problem resolved so I don't end up with five different blog posts floating around in my head.
2) Please find the sweet little girl that you stole from my house and replaced with this whiny, pushy, bossy one. The boys and I would really like her back.
3) When I took my five year old son to the "Dysfunctional Outpatient Voiding and Eliminating" Clinic (DOVE for short) I expected to receive some advice on helping him learn how to use the toilet. I did not want to hear that he just might not be ready to learn yet since he still has bowel movements in his sleep. That is NOT helpful. He is five. I do not want him going to kindergarten in diapers. Please rethink your advice and create that magic pill that I was seeking.
4) The parking garage at the DOVE clinic is the most poorly designed that I have ever seen. I spent literally twenty-five minutes driving around the garage to find a spot. Granted, it was a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate to my son various techniques to use when upset (see how Mommy takes deep breaths) it would not have been necessary it the garage was not so counter-intuitive in design. Please create a new design and submit it to me by next week.
5) The dishwasher fairy no longer lives in our house. Do not lay your used ice cream spoon on the side of the sink and expect her to magically transport it into the dishwasher - please do it yourself.
6) When you receive the flyer advertising an incredible new birthday party service and it has a coupon attached to it that expires at the end of the month, please be inspired to book your child's next birthday party immediately. Miss R's new business is still in the red.
7) My family quite enjoyed the warm weather that we had next week and was quite surprised when the cold weather appeared and the snow fell on Wednesday. Please keep in mind that it is now March. We expect spring to be arriving any day now. Please cooperate with this expectation.
8) Removing Thursday from my consciousness was not a very nice thing to do. I was quite surprised yesterday when I looked at the Thursday Thirteen site and saw so many postings, especially since it was Wednesday (at least in my mind). I have too much to do to lose a day like that.
9) I just started the Best Life Diet and am loving it.
10) If you are a library and you received an e-mail describing an incredible show based on the state's summer theme "Find a clue at the library" you should be falling over yourself to book a date for your library. Again, Miss R's business is still in the red.
11) We are waiting quite impatiently for our income tax return to arrive.
12) My children are quite desperate for the bunk beds we will be buying as soon as we receive it, especially J since she is currently sleeping on a mattress that is on the floor of the boys' room.
13) Finding thirteen ideas for letters was NOT as easy as I thought it would be. Please remind me of that if I ever want to do this again.
Monday, March 05, 2007
300th post
I believe I have earned some sort of celebration - this is my 300th post! Wow, that sure seems like a lot to me!! :)
My big brother
I have had so many posts bubbling and percolating in my brain that I actually am starting to dream about them. And I don't just mean dreaming about what I'm going to write about, I mean actually dreaming of my fingers hitting the keyboard as the thoughts spew out on the computer screen. That's not weird, is it?
I had a dream two nights ago about my brother. He and I were sitting in his old bedroom of our old house, just kind of hanging out.
To understand how truly bizarre this dream is you have to understand that my brother and I have NEVER hung out together. We never had a "typical" brother/sister relationship. My brother is clinically hyperactive, and if you look up the symptoms of what that means, my brother fits every symptom to the nth degree. Growing up I didn't know that - I just knew that living with him was challenging, to say the least. He was extremely impulsive and violent, especially to me. I came home from school one day and he flew down the steps at me and pinned me against the door, my arm twisted behind my back. I had followed him next door to our neighbor's house one day and climbed the tree after him and his friend. Once I was sitting on the tree house's ledge, my brother pushed me out, face first. My very first memory is of us walking back home from our neighbors after retrieving a railroad tie that for some reason they allowed my brother (who was four at the time, two years older than me) carry. That was my first trip to the hospital, taken there after my brother threw it at my head.
And when "I" wasn't being violent in action, he was being violent with words, intimidating and yelling at all of us. My parents did the best they can, but it's hard to remember family dinners without remembering the screaming matches between my parents and my brother. All in all, my brother really colored my memories of my childhood, enough for me later to get diagnosed with PTSD. But that's another story for another time.
Back to my bizarre dream. "I" was showing me how he was selling so much of his stuff on this version of e-bay. He told me how angry he was that Mom and Dad threw him out and made him take all his stuff, so this is what he was doing to get rid of it all (by the way, my parents never threw him out, so this was interesting - wishful thinking on my part?). He also told me about his two girls that he now has, one named Isabella and the other named Quiet (?) but he had some nickname for her that I forget. It was very interesting having an adult conversation with him, even if it was in a dream.
I have talked with my brother since we have become adults, but he is a very superficial person, so it's hard to have any kind of "real" conversation with him. He has chosen to separate himself completely from us. My parents still talk to him on the phone once a week, but he comes to very few family events and never returns my sister's phone calls (she still tries to have a relationship with him, I don't bother).
I don't feel anger towards "I". I have forgiven him for the traumas in my childhood. I know much of it was beyond his control. I have learned that my mom did everything she could to make sure I was never left alone with him, but she couldn't be there 100% of the time. I feel indifference to him. Sometimes that makes me sad that I never got to have that big brother that I've heard others talk about. But that's just the way things worked out.
I suppose I could work on this some more, revise it, make it look clever and insightful, but I mainly wanted to record this dream so I could remember it later. So for now, that's all I have to say about that.
I had a dream two nights ago about my brother. He and I were sitting in his old bedroom of our old house, just kind of hanging out.
To understand how truly bizarre this dream is you have to understand that my brother and I have NEVER hung out together. We never had a "typical" brother/sister relationship. My brother is clinically hyperactive, and if you look up the symptoms of what that means, my brother fits every symptom to the nth degree. Growing up I didn't know that - I just knew that living with him was challenging, to say the least. He was extremely impulsive and violent, especially to me. I came home from school one day and he flew down the steps at me and pinned me against the door, my arm twisted behind my back. I had followed him next door to our neighbor's house one day and climbed the tree after him and his friend. Once I was sitting on the tree house's ledge, my brother pushed me out, face first. My very first memory is of us walking back home from our neighbors after retrieving a railroad tie that for some reason they allowed my brother (who was four at the time, two years older than me) carry. That was my first trip to the hospital, taken there after my brother threw it at my head.
And when "I" wasn't being violent in action, he was being violent with words, intimidating and yelling at all of us. My parents did the best they can, but it's hard to remember family dinners without remembering the screaming matches between my parents and my brother. All in all, my brother really colored my memories of my childhood, enough for me later to get diagnosed with PTSD. But that's another story for another time.
Back to my bizarre dream. "I" was showing me how he was selling so much of his stuff on this version of e-bay. He told me how angry he was that Mom and Dad threw him out and made him take all his stuff, so this is what he was doing to get rid of it all (by the way, my parents never threw him out, so this was interesting - wishful thinking on my part?). He also told me about his two girls that he now has, one named Isabella and the other named Quiet (?) but he had some nickname for her that I forget. It was very interesting having an adult conversation with him, even if it was in a dream.
I have talked with my brother since we have become adults, but he is a very superficial person, so it's hard to have any kind of "real" conversation with him. He has chosen to separate himself completely from us. My parents still talk to him on the phone once a week, but he comes to very few family events and never returns my sister's phone calls (she still tries to have a relationship with him, I don't bother).
I don't feel anger towards "I". I have forgiven him for the traumas in my childhood. I know much of it was beyond his control. I have learned that my mom did everything she could to make sure I was never left alone with him, but she couldn't be there 100% of the time. I feel indifference to him. Sometimes that makes me sad that I never got to have that big brother that I've heard others talk about. But that's just the way things worked out.
I suppose I could work on this some more, revise it, make it look clever and insightful, but I mainly wanted to record this dream so I could remember it later. So for now, that's all I have to say about that.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Five Years Ago....
Five years ago today .....
- I had been on bedrest for eight weeks
- The last two were in the hospital on a Magnesium Sulfate drip
- WARNING: DON'T READ THIS ITEM IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH! I had endured major humiliating indignities all to keep my two precious boys inside of me a little bit longer, the main one being that the area between my legs had become so incredibly swollen that the nurses all used to come in with various remedies for me to try, all telling me they had never seen anything like it before. It eventually got to the point where it took FIVE nurses to get me off the bed onto the extra wide commode they put right next to it for me to pee: two on each leg (to make sure my legs didn't close at all) and one behind me.
- In the early morning of February 28th the nurses came in to tell me that it is within my right to refuse medical treatment, and that if the doctors don't agree to do an emergency c-section that morning, they would go over their heads to the chief of obstetrics in the hospital.
- As soon as the doctors came on duty that morning, they spoke with the nurses, came in a did a cursory exam of my body, and told me they were doing an emergency c-section in an hour. This is after they had responded to my mom's request that I be examined earlier in the week by glancing under the covers, saying that lots of women pregnant with twins get swollen, and leaving.
- They tried to catheterize me but the amount of swelling made it physically impossible to do. My husband arrived that morning to the sounds of my screams as they tried for fifteen minutes to make this happen before they gave up.
- The doctors attempted to give me a spinal but the amount of swelling was so extreme that I was no longer able to sit up.
- I was given a general and the boys were taken out as fast as possible as soon as I was out, within seconds of each other. They were six weeks premature.
- While DH was watching from behind the glass, he witnessed a big splash as my bladder ruptured. He continued watching in amazement as they paged a urologist STAT to do emergency repairs.
- A weighed 5 lbs 4 oz.
- B weighed 5 lbs 6 oz.
- They were taken immediately to the NICU and given C-Pap to help them breathe, but only for that first day and night.
- Supposedly I was wheeled through the NICU to see them after I woke up from my general, but I sincerely have no memory of this whatsoever.
- I began pumping as soon as I could sit up that day (whew, what a relief to be able to do that again) and was amazed at how much it HURT!!! But I kept it up every two hours and eventually it stopped hurting. Those first couple of days were so incredibly frustrating - I knew I had to do this to force my milk to come, but I was physically unable to get out of bed so I needed to ring for a nurse each time I had to pump. And each time I pumped I got a little bit more, but in the beginning it was literally a drop of collostrum. Some of the nurses acted as if this was a waste of time, but others encouraged me, stressing how this was liquid gold and that every little bit helped.
- I was allowed to see my babies the next day and one of the nurses took Polaroids of me holding first one boy, then the other, then both together. I looked at these as I continued pumping every two hours.
- I had a long recovery, so I guess it ended up being a good thing that the boys had to stay in the NICU for a couple weeks. I ended up needing physical therapy to walk again - had a walker that I used for those first two weeks and a wheelchair that I used whenever I returned to the hospital to visit. And of course, my catheter bag stayed with me for a good couple of weeks so my bladder could heal. Since all the swelling went to my legs and feet, it was probably a good thing that I didn't have to get up to pee!
I look at the boys now and find it impossible to mesh the picture in my mind of them in the NICU with how they look today. It's amazing how big and strong and active and verbal they are.
B is my sensitive child. He gets worried when people (whether real or on tv/in stories) do the wrong thing. And he always comes up with great ideas, which he announces by saying, "I've got a great idea!" He loves building things with legos and blocks, and is currently in love with the musical "Joseph" and performs bits of it for us every night.
A is my challenging genius. We figured out this year that he has Asperger's which finally explained so many of his behaviors that we just couldn't understand. Now we know that, for example, he just can't help himself from touching electronics, so we have been working on adapting the environment so he doesn't have access to things like the computer, and teaching him strategies to help him find other things to do when he feels the compulsion to touch stuff he shouldn't touch. He is now such an incredible reader that while he's not interested in sitting down and reading bigger books like we know he is able, he can read all mail we receive and read what I write as I write it! He loves to sing and dance and clearly has the music in him!
I love listening to them talk to each other and play together. I'm so glad that I had twins first - they learned to share and compromise so early really because I gave them no other option. They are both so incredibly affectionate and outgoing I just have to laugh.
I feel so blessed that God allowed me to finally conceive these two incredible boys and carry them almost to term after five long years of trying. Hard to believe that it was about ten years ago when we started our journey to become parents. So many twists and turns happened along the way, but ultimately I'm so grateful things happened when they did, even if I couldn't see it at the time.
Happy birthday to my beautiful boys!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Business Calls
Received a message on my business answering machine from a mom asking about themes for her 8-year-old daughters party. Put together a list and called her back. I was a good mom. I waited until the kids were all in bed. They were read to, sung to, tucked in, music turned on, door shut, down for the night. How did they know I was on the phone with a potential client, trying to sound professional? How did they know that tonight was the night to come out of their room (something that all three of them together rarely do) and try to talk to me, all at the same time? How did they pick the exact moment that I was on the phone with said client to whine and cry and try to do things in my room that they are not allowed to do?
Mish Mash
Okay, here's a recap of my life since last I posted:
* I did TWO parties this weekend! One was my first "stranger" party, a person who saw my ad on-line and called me Friday to see if I could do her son's party on Saturday. Yikes! But I did it. :) And then I did my friend's son's party on Sunday. Both were so much fun!
* A woke up Monday complaining bitterly about his stomach. I thought it was because he was hungry and encouraged him to at least eat some Cheerios, but he only ate one. As we got ready to go to school he threw himself on the ground clutching his stomach, so I let him come back home with me after we dropped off B. He laid on the couch moaning all morning, needing me to sit with him. At lunch time, he looked so pale, I pushed jello. Big mistake. Let's just say that bright red and bright blue jello don't look so good coming back up. He stayed on clear liquids after that and kept them down, so today we moved onto the BRAT diet and he's doing better. Just in time for the boys' birthday tomorrow!
Okay, that's all I can think of right now. I have had LOTS of post ideas in my head, but not enough time to write them! I'll work on carving out more time.
Just had to answer the phone and talk to someone begging for money for their organization. What part of "We just can't afford to help this year but hopefully we will be able to next year." Do they not understand?!!!
* I did TWO parties this weekend! One was my first "stranger" party, a person who saw my ad on-line and called me Friday to see if I could do her son's party on Saturday. Yikes! But I did it. :) And then I did my friend's son's party on Sunday. Both were so much fun!
* A woke up Monday complaining bitterly about his stomach. I thought it was because he was hungry and encouraged him to at least eat some Cheerios, but he only ate one. As we got ready to go to school he threw himself on the ground clutching his stomach, so I let him come back home with me after we dropped off B. He laid on the couch moaning all morning, needing me to sit with him. At lunch time, he looked so pale, I pushed jello. Big mistake. Let's just say that bright red and bright blue jello don't look so good coming back up. He stayed on clear liquids after that and kept them down, so today we moved onto the BRAT diet and he's doing better. Just in time for the boys' birthday tomorrow!
Okay, that's all I can think of right now. I have had LOTS of post ideas in my head, but not enough time to write them! I'll work on carving out more time.
Just had to answer the phone and talk to someone begging for money for their organization. What part of "We just can't afford to help this year but hopefully we will be able to next year." Do they not understand?!!!
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Whew!
I read some REALLY funny blogs the other day and kind of got somewhat intimidated about writing my own posts, but I'm over it now! :)
I spent all morning yesterday doing paperwork and I'm actually finished now. What a fabulous feeling. All bills are paid, paperwork sorted and filled out, shredded or filed. Aaahhh. And today I worked on all of A's paperwork and appointments. I literally just worked for two straight hours, but I was able to:
1) Set up a pediatric urologist appointment (let's just make sure there isn't any physical reason he's not potty trained)
2) Switched his health provider to one that covers all the hospitals we have taken him to
3) Found child psychologists covered by his new insurance
4) Made an appointment for him with Child Guidance Services
5) Found out how to receive diapers for him (took numerous calls to figure this out)
6) Contacted our pediatrician to make well appointments for all three kids and for them to contact the DME (AKA the diaper company)
I was also able to do a load of laundry and put it away.
Not bad.
So glad I designated Wednesday mornings to focus on all A's "stuff".
My sister took J and A after school yesterday so I could work with B on finally finishing all of his paperwork to get HIM evaluated by the IU. I don't think he is autistic too, but he is extremely sensitive to any conflict (in real life or pretend) and drools a LOT, so I want to get it checked out. So that's all done too.
Okay, that's all the time I had this morning. Now it's off to pick the kids up at school.
I spent all morning yesterday doing paperwork and I'm actually finished now. What a fabulous feeling. All bills are paid, paperwork sorted and filled out, shredded or filed. Aaahhh. And today I worked on all of A's paperwork and appointments. I literally just worked for two straight hours, but I was able to:
1) Set up a pediatric urologist appointment (let's just make sure there isn't any physical reason he's not potty trained)
2) Switched his health provider to one that covers all the hospitals we have taken him to
3) Found child psychologists covered by his new insurance
4) Made an appointment for him with Child Guidance Services
5) Found out how to receive diapers for him (took numerous calls to figure this out)
6) Contacted our pediatrician to make well appointments for all three kids and for them to contact the DME (AKA the diaper company)
I was also able to do a load of laundry and put it away.
Not bad.
So glad I designated Wednesday mornings to focus on all A's "stuff".
My sister took J and A after school yesterday so I could work with B on finally finishing all of his paperwork to get HIM evaluated by the IU. I don't think he is autistic too, but he is extremely sensitive to any conflict (in real life or pretend) and drools a LOT, so I want to get it checked out. So that's all done too.
Okay, that's all the time I had this morning. Now it's off to pick the kids up at school.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Oprah changed my life
Well, no not really. But I watched my TIVOed episode of yesterday's show last night and it seems that thousands of people wrote her to tell her that her show last week on The Secret did just that. Yesterday the episode was all about the reaction to last week's show.
Here's what I got out of it:
The "Secret" is all about the Laws of Attraction. You will get back whatever you put out there. If you are negative and are thinking negative thoughts, things around you will be negative. Whatever you choose to focus on, be it your weight, the things about your spouse that annoy you, the things in your life that you don't like, they will become the biggest thing in your life. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right, but last night it made a lot of sense to me! Bottom line, to quote Monty Python, "Always look on the bright side of life!"
One of the ideas they presented was to list all the things you don't want and then write the polar opposite. I think I'm able to just jump right to the polar opposite (woohoo, go me) and write the list of what I DO want in life. Here goes, in no particular order:
1) I want my children to be able to lead independent lives in which they are doing things that make them happy and are socially responsible.
2) I want my husband and I to have time together on a regular basis to communicate and stay connected.
3) I want financial freedom, the ability to pay my bills without worrying about when the next paycheck comes, the chance to take the kids out to lunch without having to cut way back on what we order just to ensure that we can afford it, the opportunity to take the family on vacation once in a while, an emergency fund set up to cover three months worth of expenses, a retirement fund so we can retire at some point, an education fund for each of the children to ensure that they can go to school without having to declare financial independence and work many differnt jobs to be able to pay for it as I did.
4) I want a peaceful, non-chaotic, organized home.
5) I want to be physically fit, to make good choices with the food I eat, to exercise regularly, to fit into my size 8 clothes.
6) I want to make money from my business and enjoy it, doing at least two parties and/or assemblies a month.
7) I want to study the Torah and the entire Tanakh, being able to question and share ideas with other like-minded Jews.
8) I want to continue developing friendships with other women.
9) I want to scrapbook at least two times a month.
The idea is that once you clearly know what you want, you need to work on making steps towards achieving it. The more I write about this, the more I think this is something I have been living all my life already, but I think it's good to state what you want out of life and figure out how to make it happen.
What about you? What are the things you want in life? If you have your own blog, I challenge you to post about it and then leave a link in my comments. If you don't have a blog, list what you want in the comments section. I'd love to read what other people want out of life!
Here's what I got out of it:
The "Secret" is all about the Laws of Attraction. You will get back whatever you put out there. If you are negative and are thinking negative thoughts, things around you will be negative. Whatever you choose to focus on, be it your weight, the things about your spouse that annoy you, the things in your life that you don't like, they will become the biggest thing in your life. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this right, but last night it made a lot of sense to me! Bottom line, to quote Monty Python, "Always look on the bright side of life!"
One of the ideas they presented was to list all the things you don't want and then write the polar opposite. I think I'm able to just jump right to the polar opposite (woohoo, go me) and write the list of what I DO want in life. Here goes, in no particular order:
1) I want my children to be able to lead independent lives in which they are doing things that make them happy and are socially responsible.
2) I want my husband and I to have time together on a regular basis to communicate and stay connected.
3) I want financial freedom, the ability to pay my bills without worrying about when the next paycheck comes, the chance to take the kids out to lunch without having to cut way back on what we order just to ensure that we can afford it, the opportunity to take the family on vacation once in a while, an emergency fund set up to cover three months worth of expenses, a retirement fund so we can retire at some point, an education fund for each of the children to ensure that they can go to school without having to declare financial independence and work many differnt jobs to be able to pay for it as I did.
4) I want a peaceful, non-chaotic, organized home.
5) I want to be physically fit, to make good choices with the food I eat, to exercise regularly, to fit into my size 8 clothes.
6) I want to make money from my business and enjoy it, doing at least two parties and/or assemblies a month.
7) I want to study the Torah and the entire Tanakh, being able to question and share ideas with other like-minded Jews.
8) I want to continue developing friendships with other women.
9) I want to scrapbook at least two times a month.
The idea is that once you clearly know what you want, you need to work on making steps towards achieving it. The more I write about this, the more I think this is something I have been living all my life already, but I think it's good to state what you want out of life and figure out how to make it happen.
What about you? What are the things you want in life? If you have your own blog, I challenge you to post about it and then leave a link in my comments. If you don't have a blog, list what you want in the comments section. I'd love to read what other people want out of life!
Friday, February 16, 2007
The Birds!
Yes, the birds are back. Birds seem to like my bedroom windows. They frequently make nests there, which is very sweet and the kids like to take a look at them. Once we even got to see the eggs in there (I didn't tell the kids when the next fell and all the eggs were crushed and the baby birds died - we just said they all flew away.) which was truly amazing to watch up close.
Hearing the chirping once in a while is sweet.
Having the chirping wake you up and listening to it all day long whenever I'm in my room - not so sweet.
Hearing the chirping once in a while is sweet.
Having the chirping wake you up and listening to it all day long whenever I'm in my room - not so sweet.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Snow Day!
Finally! Snow actually fell and accumulated. We've had a few snowfalls, but they have only been teases - leaving a small dusting behind that melts before the kids get out of school. Today we were awakened at five by the automated voice of DH's school district stating that school was canceled for the day. Woohoo! DH didn't have to get up at his normal 5:30 and got to sleep in until 7 when the kids are finally allowed to get up. And then he treated me to a morning vegging in bed while he got up with the kids and took care of them. I can't remember the last morning I slept in, between him working on Saturdays and me working on Sundays, so this morning was such an incredible present. Happy Valentine's Day, indeed!
A just read all this out loud over my shoulder and wants me to write the next story about Hammer the Nails (that's what he says the title should be). Yesterday was a very long but productive day. I had A's IEP meeting which ended up being three hours long. We brainstormed lots of ideas for his increasing anxiety and screaming tantrums as well as suggestions about the non-existent potty training. I brought with me to the meeting a one page document that I had written that included every single thing I have tried to get this kid to go in the toilet. I described every incentive plan we have had, every chunk of time that we have required him to sit on the potty and every chunk of time that we have tried between trips to the potty. I described all the special toys he was only allowed to play with while on the toilet, the games that we tried (like "Sink the Cheerio") even how we tried pouring luke-warm water over him while he sat on the toilet. And bottom line, he has never ever done anything but sit or stand on or at the potty. I asked for a special group to come out and work with him. The IU finally agreed, though they won't pay for it until this summer, seeing as then he will officially be "school-aged" since he goes to Kindergarten in September.
After that meeting, I had just enough time to get J down for a nap and the boys down on the couch for "quiet time" when my next meeting for the day began with a knock on the door. A young rabbi arrived to talk with me about a group called "The Friendship Circle," a Jewish organization that sets up trained teenage volunteers with families that have kids with special needs so the child can have a teenage "friend" and the family can have a little respite. Very nice. He wanted to meet with A and get a sense of him, finding out if he would take a while to warm up (not a problem with my overly social son) or would even acknowledge him at all. It was great to have someone rough house with the kids for a little while I got to sit on the couch.
And then DH got home early. My Hebrew School was canceled for the night as was his rehearsal, so I took advantage of all that extra time and cleared out a lot of junk from the bedroom. I just had gotten rid of a large bench we had in the room (took up too much space and wasn't getting used much) - I LOVE Freecycle! - and bought an inexpensive file cabinet from Staples to create a small office nook for my business stuff. DH helped me move the computer armoire over which really opened the area up. After I cleaned up a lot I started hanging pictures back up around the house. Which brings us back to why A wanted this to be called "Hammer the Nails."
Whew!
Okay, I have to get the chicken out of the crockpot (Southwestern chicken - so easy - two cans of corn, one can of black beans, one bottle of salsa, chicken pieces, stir and cover, cook) so we can eat dinner. Hope you have had a great snow day!
A just read all this out loud over my shoulder and wants me to write the next story about Hammer the Nails (that's what he says the title should be). Yesterday was a very long but productive day. I had A's IEP meeting which ended up being three hours long. We brainstormed lots of ideas for his increasing anxiety and screaming tantrums as well as suggestions about the non-existent potty training. I brought with me to the meeting a one page document that I had written that included every single thing I have tried to get this kid to go in the toilet. I described every incentive plan we have had, every chunk of time that we have required him to sit on the potty and every chunk of time that we have tried between trips to the potty. I described all the special toys he was only allowed to play with while on the toilet, the games that we tried (like "Sink the Cheerio") even how we tried pouring luke-warm water over him while he sat on the toilet. And bottom line, he has never ever done anything but sit or stand on or at the potty. I asked for a special group to come out and work with him. The IU finally agreed, though they won't pay for it until this summer, seeing as then he will officially be "school-aged" since he goes to Kindergarten in September.
After that meeting, I had just enough time to get J down for a nap and the boys down on the couch for "quiet time" when my next meeting for the day began with a knock on the door. A young rabbi arrived to talk with me about a group called "The Friendship Circle," a Jewish organization that sets up trained teenage volunteers with families that have kids with special needs so the child can have a teenage "friend" and the family can have a little respite. Very nice. He wanted to meet with A and get a sense of him, finding out if he would take a while to warm up (not a problem with my overly social son) or would even acknowledge him at all. It was great to have someone rough house with the kids for a little while I got to sit on the couch.
And then DH got home early. My Hebrew School was canceled for the night as was his rehearsal, so I took advantage of all that extra time and cleared out a lot of junk from the bedroom. I just had gotten rid of a large bench we had in the room (took up too much space and wasn't getting used much) - I LOVE Freecycle! - and bought an inexpensive file cabinet from Staples to create a small office nook for my business stuff. DH helped me move the computer armoire over which really opened the area up. After I cleaned up a lot I started hanging pictures back up around the house. Which brings us back to why A wanted this to be called "Hammer the Nails."
Whew!
Okay, I have to get the chicken out of the crockpot (Southwestern chicken - so easy - two cans of corn, one can of black beans, one bottle of salsa, chicken pieces, stir and cover, cook) so we can eat dinner. Hope you have had a great snow day!
Monday, February 12, 2007
Is it snowing yet?
I have to get back in the habbit of blogging every day. Not that my life is that incredibly interesting, but I think it helps to have an outlet for everything I'm thinking and doing, especially with DH working almost every night. I really don't have much to write now except that I'm tired but just got the kids in bed for the night and must go downstairs and clean up the styrofoam snow they made all over the downstairs while I was in the bathroom. Fun.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
So it begins . . .
Just before it was time to go up for her nap, J kept coming in to me as I finshed eating my lunch with two fingers raised. "Two more minutes, Mommy," she announced, returning every two minutes or so to repeat her proclamation. Since she was playing quietly in the other room, I didn't think too much of it as I finished my McDonald's Asian salad (LOVE them!) in relative peace. When I went to throw my trash away, I poked my head into the playroom and tried to make her smile. J smiled and then said, "No, Mommy, go away." Okay. Whatever. I'd like to say I got suspicious then, just knowing that something was up. But, I didn't.
When I went into the playroom to bring J upstairs, I noticed that she was chewing. "What are you eating?" I quickly asked her, and she matter-of-factly replied, "Chocolate." Of course. What else would she be eating now? I looked at the playroom floor and realized the true reason J hadn't wanted me to come in. She had stolen an entire box of chocolates that I had left too close to the counter's edge and was systematically going through every gold wrapped piece, leaving a pile of foil in their place. She knew she shouldn't do it, so she was hiding it from me.
Lovely. She is still two and she has learned to hide from when she wants to do something she shouldn't. I don't think either of the boys has really learned that one yet. I'm just so proud.
When I went into the playroom to bring J upstairs, I noticed that she was chewing. "What are you eating?" I quickly asked her, and she matter-of-factly replied, "Chocolate." Of course. What else would she be eating now? I looked at the playroom floor and realized the true reason J hadn't wanted me to come in. She had stolen an entire box of chocolates that I had left too close to the counter's edge and was systematically going through every gold wrapped piece, leaving a pile of foil in their place. She knew she shouldn't do it, so she was hiding it from me.
Lovely. She is still two and she has learned to hide from when she wants to do something she shouldn't. I don't think either of the boys has really learned that one yet. I'm just so proud.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Why?
Why, oh why do they print the instructions on how to open a child-resistant cap ON the said child-resistant cap?
Having a child who can read at an early age is interesting, but very frustrating when he is able to read things that he really shouldn't be reading!
Don't worry, the Poison Control Center reassured me that the vitamins he ate won't harm him, but didn't have any good solution for making him forget the instructions he already read and proved to me that he knows how to use.
P.S. As I type this, said child is hanging on my shoulder (literally) reading every word I type. Whenever I pause, he suggests a word for me to put in. And since he's insisting on it now, I must type in his name: A. There, is that better, A? He's now moved on to my box of business cards, pronouncing that he needs to create his own party productions when he's older.
Well, it's never dull around here.
Having a child who can read at an early age is interesting, but very frustrating when he is able to read things that he really shouldn't be reading!
Don't worry, the Poison Control Center reassured me that the vitamins he ate won't harm him, but didn't have any good solution for making him forget the instructions he already read and proved to me that he knows how to use.
P.S. As I type this, said child is hanging on my shoulder (literally) reading every word I type. Whenever I pause, he suggests a word for me to put in. And since he's insisting on it now, I must type in his name: A. There, is that better, A? He's now moved on to my box of business cards, pronouncing that he needs to create his own party productions when he's older.
Well, it's never dull around here.
Since last I posted, in no particular order . . .
* Dropped the kids off at school this morning and then went with my sister to the funeral of our next door neighbor from the house where we grew up. My family lived there for about 25 years or so, and we were all pretty close. I think of them as my surrogate grandparents. The Ds had a pool that we were welcome to use any time, and we all wore a path between our yard and there's through the years. Some of my fondest summer time memories are of going over to the D's pool and sitting under the shade of one pool umbrella, Mr. D. under the other, both of us reading The Star or The Enquirer, or some other stupid newspaper like that. Just the two of us, spending the afternoon together, laughing at the incredible articles in there.
* Once we got to the funeral and got a chance to see everyone (big family, lots of kids, many we hadn't seen in years and years) my cell phone rang - school was closing because the heat wasn't working properly. We had to go back and pick up the kids. So NOT the way I was planning to spend the day!
* Okay, my website is up and running, I've been sending out e-mails to spread the word, passing out business cards and flyers, have an ad on Google, signed up to be on the various search engines, added "metatags" to my web pages . . . NOW WHAT?!!!
* Made a HUGE financial mistake the other day and started my business checking account with our home equity line of credit. Only problem is we refinanced our line of credit over the summer into a fixed rate and did away with the line of credit part of it. OOoops! So now I have to go over to the printer's with my credit card and apologize like crazy!!!
* Had a FABULOUS weekend away scrapbooking with good friends. Finished my entire album for 2006. The secret? Take less pictures.
* Have to go tackle the ENORMOUS pile of clothes before it makes good on its promise to take over the house. Think I'm kidding? You haven't seen the pile.
* Once we got to the funeral and got a chance to see everyone (big family, lots of kids, many we hadn't seen in years and years) my cell phone rang - school was closing because the heat wasn't working properly. We had to go back and pick up the kids. So NOT the way I was planning to spend the day!
* Okay, my website is up and running, I've been sending out e-mails to spread the word, passing out business cards and flyers, have an ad on Google, signed up to be on the various search engines, added "metatags" to my web pages . . . NOW WHAT?!!!
* Made a HUGE financial mistake the other day and started my business checking account with our home equity line of credit. Only problem is we refinanced our line of credit over the summer into a fixed rate and did away with the line of credit part of it. OOoops! So now I have to go over to the printer's with my credit card and apologize like crazy!!!
* Had a FABULOUS weekend away scrapbooking with good friends. Finished my entire album for 2006. The secret? Take less pictures.
* Have to go tackle the ENORMOUS pile of clothes before it makes good on its promise to take over the house. Think I'm kidding? You haven't seen the pile.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
What am I thankful for today?
What am I NOT thankful for today?!!
Here are the top 13:
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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Here are the top 13:
 |
1. I am down to three, count them, THREE kids. 2. That means I no longer provide full-time child-care to ANYONE except my own children. 3. To celebrate, my sister and I are taking all the kids to McDonald's for lunch after school. 4. Say what you will about the quality of McDonald's food, but NOTHING beats their fries! 5. To celebrate the fact that we can now have dinner whenever we want without having to wait until my nephew gets picked up some time between 5:30 and 6:15, we are taking the kids out to dinner tonight. 6. DH is taking sick day tomorrow (he is losing his voice) which means he will be able to come with me to the kids' school as B is the all-important Shabbat King tomorrow. B is SO excited! 7. I just met with the children's librarian at my local library who agreed to hire me to perform at one of the weekly kid shows they have over the summer. 8. She is also going to forward my show description to all the other libraries in the county, who will hopefully hire me as well. 9. Depending on their budget she may also be able to hire me to do some storytimes as well. 10. Getting paid to perform is incredible. 11. Being able to put out my flyers at each library when I perform or lead storytime, thus allowing me FREE advertising, is even better! 12. I had plans to get together with a friend this morning that fell through (I'm not smiling about that and hope she's okay!) but I bought Starbucks to bring to her house so I got to have my Chai Tea Latte (non-fat with no water and no foam, in case you were curious) today. 13. I love that even though I don't like coffee, I now have my very own "grown-up" drink. So what are YOU smiling about today? Links to other Thursday Thirteens! |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Potty Training Back
Groan.
Forget the social stigma.
Forget the price of diapers.
Forget the inconvenience of having a child who is nearly five still not able to use the toilet.
Forget the smell (though that's really tough).
The biggest problem with A not yet being potty trained is the fact that he is much stronger than when he was a toddler. Yesterday he had a diaper rash. When I went to change his diaper in the morning and got ready to clean up the morning messy diaper, he kicked and squirmed and screamed so much that I'm surprised I didn't get a bloody nose. I was kicked a few times hard enough to double me over and finally found a grip to hold under my arm and hold the other leg with my left hand so I could clean him off with my right hand all while I held him down with my leg. I know, it sounds almost barbaric but you do what you have to do to take care of your children. I know it hurts him, but it will hurt him worse if I don't clean him off.
After everyone was dressed and fed and cleaned I took them all to school. I breathed a sigh of relief when I got the boys in their classroom and helped them put their coats and hats and gloves and scarves (don't you just love winter) and backpacks away. And then I breathed in. Oh no. I have to change A yet again. Dread filled my aching body as I took him across the hall to the two year old classroom (the only one set up for diaper changes). For some reason most of the parents were hanging out in the classroom that morning, so they all got to witness our diaper changing dance. After the first minute I had ripped his shoes off (can't believe I didn't think of that before I got started but one good kick to the chin gave me that idea) but had to keep throwing my body across him to calm his legs down so I could grip them better. After what seemed like an eternity trying to hold his legs so I could wipe him off and getting nowhere, sick to death of the pitying glances I received from some parents and the careful avoidance from others, one mom came over and offered some help. I almost cried in gratitude.
The pain from the diaper rash is now gone. But the pain in my body is going to stick around for awhile. And the one in my heart is a little stronger.
Forget the social stigma.
Forget the price of diapers.
Forget the inconvenience of having a child who is nearly five still not able to use the toilet.
Forget the smell (though that's really tough).
The biggest problem with A not yet being potty trained is the fact that he is much stronger than when he was a toddler. Yesterday he had a diaper rash. When I went to change his diaper in the morning and got ready to clean up the morning messy diaper, he kicked and squirmed and screamed so much that I'm surprised I didn't get a bloody nose. I was kicked a few times hard enough to double me over and finally found a grip to hold under my arm and hold the other leg with my left hand so I could clean him off with my right hand all while I held him down with my leg. I know, it sounds almost barbaric but you do what you have to do to take care of your children. I know it hurts him, but it will hurt him worse if I don't clean him off.
After everyone was dressed and fed and cleaned I took them all to school. I breathed a sigh of relief when I got the boys in their classroom and helped them put their coats and hats and gloves and scarves (don't you just love winter) and backpacks away. And then I breathed in. Oh no. I have to change A yet again. Dread filled my aching body as I took him across the hall to the two year old classroom (the only one set up for diaper changes). For some reason most of the parents were hanging out in the classroom that morning, so they all got to witness our diaper changing dance. After the first minute I had ripped his shoes off (can't believe I didn't think of that before I got started but one good kick to the chin gave me that idea) but had to keep throwing my body across him to calm his legs down so I could grip them better. After what seemed like an eternity trying to hold his legs so I could wipe him off and getting nowhere, sick to death of the pitying glances I received from some parents and the careful avoidance from others, one mom came over and offered some help. I almost cried in gratitude.
The pain from the diaper rash is now gone. But the pain in my body is going to stick around for awhile. And the one in my heart is a little stronger.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Mish-Mash Monday
The sounds of J shouting "No" from downstairs remind me that DN-A is only going to be in our charge for three more days. Not that I'm counting.
J woke up screaming in the middle of the night last night. When I went in she told me, "Actually I want to be zipped up." She is now sleeping in her new sleeping bag on the floor of the boys' room. When I put her to bed last night she did not want me to zip the bag. Obviously she changed her mind.
I've been using almost every spare moment to revise my flyer and website for my new business. I'm still so excited about it I can't even talk! :) Well, maybe a little. My goal is to get everything up and running (website, new phone line, flyers and cards printed) by February 1st.
I have a workman from Verizon coming today to change my connection from DSL to fiberoptic. Supposed to make the house wireless and make the connection much faster, all for only 40 cents more than what I'm paying now. He will be here for four hours. Hopefully he will not come during the twenty minutes I'm bringing the boys to school. I'll leave a note on the door and hope for the best.
I have a lot more to write but not enough time. I'll try to find more time today to sit down and post, but can't promise anything. I know my loyal readers (all five of you) will be disappointed, but it's the best I can do.
J woke up screaming in the middle of the night last night. When I went in she told me, "Actually I want to be zipped up." She is now sleeping in her new sleeping bag on the floor of the boys' room. When I put her to bed last night she did not want me to zip the bag. Obviously she changed her mind.
I've been using almost every spare moment to revise my flyer and website for my new business. I'm still so excited about it I can't even talk! :) Well, maybe a little. My goal is to get everything up and running (website, new phone line, flyers and cards printed) by February 1st.
I have a workman from Verizon coming today to change my connection from DSL to fiberoptic. Supposed to make the house wireless and make the connection much faster, all for only 40 cents more than what I'm paying now. He will be here for four hours. Hopefully he will not come during the twenty minutes I'm bringing the boys to school. I'll leave a note on the door and hope for the best.
I have a lot more to write but not enough time. I'll try to find more time today to sit down and post, but can't promise anything. I know my loyal readers (all five of you) will be disappointed, but it's the best I can do.
Friday, January 12, 2007
I'm Walkin' on Sunshine
I feel like I'm walking three feet off the ground.
I'm laughing with the kids, I'm taking care of (some) stuff around the house, and I'm head over heels in love with my new idea. Tuesday afternoon I made the decision to start my own business.
Let me back up a little. Last year, around this time, my friend Chaotic Mom started talking to me about putting my love of theater and music and teaching together and hiring myself to entertain at birthday parties. I liked the idea, and she even hired me to do her son's party (which went really well) but then life got in the way as it normally does. I didn't pursue it, and the idea just kind of petered out.
And now I'm at a different point in my life. I had the "big talk" with my sister where I told her that I couldn't watch her kids anymore, and, not that I'm counting, I only have seven more days where I'm in charge of my nephew for the day. While I'm relieved to not have that responsiblity anymore, I will definitely miss that income. A lot. So I've been trying to figure out what I could do to make it up. I was contemplating becoming a consultant for one of the many home based businesses out there, and then I met with a good friend who sells Mary Kay. Now anyone who knows me knows that I would DEFINITELY not be the person to sell Mary Kay, but after mulling over several ideas with her, she stressed to me that it's really important to find something that I'm passionate about. And we're back to the whole birthday party entertainer again.
So Tuesday I put together my idea in the form of a simple flyer and sent it out to a bunch of friends for feedback. Wow, do I have some great friends out there! One even took the information and made it, shall we say, extremely visually appealing. I have been tweaking it on and off for the last three days. I'm so beyond excited about this!!! My next step is to figure out how to create my own website to provide more info for curious parents. I feel like I shouldn't make brochures or business cards until I have a web address since I will obviously want those things on it. And I'm also trying to get information about starting my own business so I can figure out the legalities of it. Any of you out there have any good sites that talk about starting a small business or a way to design and host your own website totally for free? I'll keep doing my google searches and hopefully will get things up and running by next week.
I have not felt this alive in a really long time. I know part of it is I just started getting three mornings to myself each week (2 1/2 hours each makes a HUGE difference in how overwhelmed I end up feeling by the end of the day). But every time I come upstairs I have to run to the computer to see if anyone has sent me any other ideas or revisions for the flyer or the business as a whole. So many possiblities, so many things to explore. One aspect of what I will provide is a craft and costume accessories for each child based on their individual theme. So I have to decide how much I should spend per child to make it fun for the kids but not prohibitive for the parents. Which also means I have to check out all the various sites on-line to find the BEST prices in these kinds of things. For example, a friend might hire me to do a pirate themed party for her son next month. So I'm looking for bandanas and eye patches as well as temporary tattoos, plus small treasure chests for them each to decorate. Then I have to decide how much my time is worth, or how much do I have to get paid to make this financially worthwhile for me. It's just a lot to think about, but it's so totally exciting.
I sent some flyers to Kinko's (yes, you can do that from your computer) to get 10 copies made just to start out. After nap time I'm taking the kids over to pick them up. Can't wait to see them.
So that's why I haven't blogged this week. And now I've found out it is National Delurker Week and I almost missed it! PLEASE delurk and leave a comment.
I'm laughing with the kids, I'm taking care of (some) stuff around the house, and I'm head over heels in love with my new idea. Tuesday afternoon I made the decision to start my own business.
Let me back up a little. Last year, around this time, my friend Chaotic Mom started talking to me about putting my love of theater and music and teaching together and hiring myself to entertain at birthday parties. I liked the idea, and she even hired me to do her son's party (which went really well) but then life got in the way as it normally does. I didn't pursue it, and the idea just kind of petered out.
And now I'm at a different point in my life. I had the "big talk" with my sister where I told her that I couldn't watch her kids anymore, and, not that I'm counting, I only have seven more days where I'm in charge of my nephew for the day. While I'm relieved to not have that responsiblity anymore, I will definitely miss that income. A lot. So I've been trying to figure out what I could do to make it up. I was contemplating becoming a consultant for one of the many home based businesses out there, and then I met with a good friend who sells Mary Kay. Now anyone who knows me knows that I would DEFINITELY not be the person to sell Mary Kay, but after mulling over several ideas with her, she stressed to me that it's really important to find something that I'm passionate about. And we're back to the whole birthday party entertainer again.
So Tuesday I put together my idea in the form of a simple flyer and sent it out to a bunch of friends for feedback. Wow, do I have some great friends out there! One even took the information and made it, shall we say, extremely visually appealing. I have been tweaking it on and off for the last three days. I'm so beyond excited about this!!! My next step is to figure out how to create my own website to provide more info for curious parents. I feel like I shouldn't make brochures or business cards until I have a web address since I will obviously want those things on it. And I'm also trying to get information about starting my own business so I can figure out the legalities of it. Any of you out there have any good sites that talk about starting a small business or a way to design and host your own website totally for free? I'll keep doing my google searches and hopefully will get things up and running by next week.
I have not felt this alive in a really long time. I know part of it is I just started getting three mornings to myself each week (2 1/2 hours each makes a HUGE difference in how overwhelmed I end up feeling by the end of the day). But every time I come upstairs I have to run to the computer to see if anyone has sent me any other ideas or revisions for the flyer or the business as a whole. So many possiblities, so many things to explore. One aspect of what I will provide is a craft and costume accessories for each child based on their individual theme. So I have to decide how much I should spend per child to make it fun for the kids but not prohibitive for the parents. Which also means I have to check out all the various sites on-line to find the BEST prices in these kinds of things. For example, a friend might hire me to do a pirate themed party for her son next month. So I'm looking for bandanas and eye patches as well as temporary tattoos, plus small treasure chests for them each to decorate. Then I have to decide how much my time is worth, or how much do I have to get paid to make this financially worthwhile for me. It's just a lot to think about, but it's so totally exciting.
I sent some flyers to Kinko's (yes, you can do that from your computer) to get 10 copies made just to start out. After nap time I'm taking the kids over to pick them up. Can't wait to see them.
So that's why I haven't blogged this week. And now I've found out it is National Delurker Week and I almost missed it! PLEASE delurk and leave a comment.
Monday, January 08, 2007
Disaster Has Struck
Being the good mommy that I am, I threatened my daughter last night to get her to stay in bed. She can come up with ten different excuses to leave her brothers' bedroom at night, usually involving needing to use the potty. How can you refuse that? Well, when you put her to bed at 7 and it's 8:30 and she's still screaming "I have to poop!" at the top of her lungs after having gone to the potty THREE separate times since seven o'clock, it gets a little easier.
So last night I made sure she understood the consequences of screaming for Mommy or Daddy to come and take her out of the Pack and Play (where she chooses to sleep in her brothers' room while she has her sleep-over) for any reason. She even was able to parrot it back to me.
"So J, let's make sure you push out all the pee and poop right now, because once you go to bed you're not allowed to call for us. Why not?"
"I going to be quiet. If I yell I go sleep in my room," J explained.
Yes, the ultimate threat: isolation.
Anyway, it worked. But it was only now when I attempted to put her down for a nap that I realized how well. When I lifted J's Mine (yes, she calls the stuffed bear/blanket that she has slept with every single naptime and bedtime since she was born "Mine" - anything unusual about that?) out of the pack and play, I felt something wet on it. After closer examination I learned that sometime during the night, J had thrown up. Not a lot, but enough. And, fearing isolation, she did not call us. She had cried once in the middle of the night (probably when it happened) but then went back to sleep. In the vomit. Lovely.
And to make it even worse, I had to explain to her that she couldn't have her Mine for this nap because he had to take a bath. So she laid in bed whimpering, "I want my Mine, I want my Mine." ARGH! I finally found a soft blanket for her to hold that was clearly a poor substitute, but would do. And I believe she has fallen asleep, finally.
I better get Mine in the washer so we don't completely traumatize this child in case it's not dry by bedtime!
So last night I made sure she understood the consequences of screaming for Mommy or Daddy to come and take her out of the Pack and Play (where she chooses to sleep in her brothers' room while she has her sleep-over) for any reason. She even was able to parrot it back to me.
"So J, let's make sure you push out all the pee and poop right now, because once you go to bed you're not allowed to call for us. Why not?"
"I going to be quiet. If I yell I go sleep in my room," J explained.
Yes, the ultimate threat: isolation.
Anyway, it worked. But it was only now when I attempted to put her down for a nap that I realized how well. When I lifted J's Mine (yes, she calls the stuffed bear/blanket that she has slept with every single naptime and bedtime since she was born "Mine" - anything unusual about that?) out of the pack and play, I felt something wet on it. After closer examination I learned that sometime during the night, J had thrown up. Not a lot, but enough. And, fearing isolation, she did not call us. She had cried once in the middle of the night (probably when it happened) but then went back to sleep. In the vomit. Lovely.
And to make it even worse, I had to explain to her that she couldn't have her Mine for this nap because he had to take a bath. So she laid in bed whimpering, "I want my Mine, I want my Mine." ARGH! I finally found a soft blanket for her to hold that was clearly a poor substitute, but would do. And I believe she has fallen asleep, finally.
I better get Mine in the washer so we don't completely traumatize this child in case it's not dry by bedtime!
The Comfort Food that Didn't
Oh, McDonalds, you are my favorite comfort food. I love the salty taste of your perfectly fried french fries, biting into your "Big and Tasty" burger, loaded with a tomato slice and some lettuce so I don't feel too decadant (along with a big dollop of mayonaise), is just divine, and then treating myself to a Coke - I love fountain drinks more than any other version - AAAAHHHHH....
So I woke up, if you can call it that, this morning feeling lousy. Still. My throat has been swollen to the point of painful to swallow anything since Friday. Bleck. And my ears hurt. Double bleck. I went to the doctor on Friday and he (not my regular doc but I was desparate) prescribed an antibiotic since my throat and glands were so swollen. He also prescribed a prescription decongestant. I've been up coughing every night. Last night I slept literally from 1 - 4. At 5:30 I went back to sleep for half an hour, and then when the kids got up at 7 I let them come in my room and watch tv so I could kind of sleep for another half hour. I'm tired and cranky and feel like crap. All I want to do is cocoon myself in my bed and stay here all day.
But here's the kicker. I decided since I felt so bad I should treat myself (and the kids) to my favorite comfort food. It is with much sadness that I report that the salt made my throat hurt and the sandwich tasted weird because apparently I'm more stuffed up than I thought.
You know it's bad when even your comfort food turns on you.
So I woke up, if you can call it that, this morning feeling lousy. Still. My throat has been swollen to the point of painful to swallow anything since Friday. Bleck. And my ears hurt. Double bleck. I went to the doctor on Friday and he (not my regular doc but I was desparate) prescribed an antibiotic since my throat and glands were so swollen. He also prescribed a prescription decongestant. I've been up coughing every night. Last night I slept literally from 1 - 4. At 5:30 I went back to sleep for half an hour, and then when the kids got up at 7 I let them come in my room and watch tv so I could kind of sleep for another half hour. I'm tired and cranky and feel like crap. All I want to do is cocoon myself in my bed and stay here all day.
But here's the kicker. I decided since I felt so bad I should treat myself (and the kids) to my favorite comfort food. It is with much sadness that I report that the salt made my throat hurt and the sandwich tasted weird because apparently I'm more stuffed up than I thought.
You know it's bad when even your comfort food turns on you.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Thirteen Things I Want
Thirteen Things about R
1) I want to only have my three children in my charge during the day. For those of you keeping track, I'm responsible for my nephew for 11 1/2 more days.
2) I want a clean house. I want to walk in it and feel good, not overwhelmed by all the crap.
3) I want to lose twenty five pounds. I'd settle for fifteen. But it's got to go.
4) I want the willpower to eat the way I need to in order to lose the weight. I know what to do - I just chose not to do it!
5) I want my children to be happy and healthy.
6) I want to know all the services that my sons qualify for and figure out exactly how to get ensure that each one gets everything they need, paid for by insurance, of course.
7) I want to figure out a way to use my time wisely: so I'm not burnt out but still able to keep up with the basic household chores, paperwork, bills, meals, groceries, laundry . . . PLUS find a chance to spend at least SOME quality time with the kids, either individually or as a group.
8) I want to finally finish up with the pile of paperwork I currently have to deal with right this minute so that all that will be left is the daily/weekly upkeep.
9) Same thing with the laundry.
10) I want to figure out right now exactly how much money we are going to need each month to get by once I'm not watching my niece and nephew anymore.
11) I want to figure out how to start getting hired as an entertainer for kids and a vocalist for weddings - all things that I have done professionally before but have not truely pursued. Maybe getting hired to do something that I love doing would be enough to pay the bills each month.
12) I want to make a goal and stick to it.
13) I want the house to run itself. I know that sounds kind of dumb, but I want to have my routines so automatic that I do them on autopilot. I went grocery shopping last night and then didn't finish putting everything away. I also didn't prep today's meals. Therefore I started the day with the groceries still out and have felt like I'm two steps behind all day.
And that's it. Not to much to ask for, is it?!
1) I want to only have my three children in my charge during the day. For those of you keeping track, I'm responsible for my nephew for 11 1/2 more days.
2) I want a clean house. I want to walk in it and feel good, not overwhelmed by all the crap.
3) I want to lose twenty five pounds. I'd settle for fifteen. But it's got to go.
4) I want the willpower to eat the way I need to in order to lose the weight. I know what to do - I just chose not to do it!
5) I want my children to be happy and healthy.
6) I want to know all the services that my sons qualify for and figure out exactly how to get ensure that each one gets everything they need, paid for by insurance, of course.
7) I want to figure out a way to use my time wisely: so I'm not burnt out but still able to keep up with the basic household chores, paperwork, bills, meals, groceries, laundry . . . PLUS find a chance to spend at least SOME quality time with the kids, either individually or as a group.
8) I want to finally finish up with the pile of paperwork I currently have to deal with right this minute so that all that will be left is the daily/weekly upkeep.
9) Same thing with the laundry.
10) I want to figure out right now exactly how much money we are going to need each month to get by once I'm not watching my niece and nephew anymore.
11) I want to figure out how to start getting hired as an entertainer for kids and a vocalist for weddings - all things that I have done professionally before but have not truely pursued. Maybe getting hired to do something that I love doing would be enough to pay the bills each month.
12) I want to make a goal and stick to it.
13) I want the house to run itself. I know that sounds kind of dumb, but I want to have my routines so automatic that I do them on autopilot. I went grocery shopping last night and then didn't finish putting everything away. I also didn't prep today's meals. Therefore I started the day with the groceries still out and have felt like I'm two steps behind all day.
And that's it. Not to much to ask for, is it?!
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Back to Life, Back to Reality . . .
Vacation is over. DH is back to work. In half an hour I will take all the kids to school. Routines are back. Everyday life is back. I LOVED having DH home. He let me sleep in EVERY day which was SO sweet. And we had a great time together as a family, and alone just the two of us. But real life creeps in, so back to work he went this morning early, early, early.
As much as I loved him being home (and trust me, I did) I'm looking forward to school starting again for the kids and getting back into normalcy. The week before break B was sick and home with me, so I didn't really get to take advantage of having all of them in school. But today . . . as soon as I drop them off I'm heading over to my favorite Starbucks, buying a Chai Tea Latte (Is it sad that the manager knows me by name and last time I was there even remembered that my drink is a tall non-fat Chai Tea Latte, no water, no foam? Just asking.) and finding a table to spread out on and write my Hebrew School and Religious School plans for the month. Aaahhh, things I can't do with kids by my side.
We allowed A back on the laptop yesterday to try some new games he got for the holidays. He hasn't had significant time on it since his IEP team recommended limiting the amount of time on a computer, since it is his main area of obsession. In any case, wow - we saw a lot of autistic symtoms that we haven't seen in a while. Hadn't realized how much limiting the computer time was helping! Between the hands over the ears and the flapping fingers and single-minded focus, he was a different kid altogether.
I've realized with A that I have to stop using his diagnosis as an excuse. Yes, he has Asperger's and yes, that explains a lot, but I find that when he displays the slightest Autistic-like behavior I'm telling everyone around me about his diagnosis as a way of excusing/interpreting his behavior. They don't all need to know that! He is an incredible kid. I know that he has lots of problems, but I also know that the way I've been adapting his environment at home and in the way we deal with him has made it much easier for him to cope with the world, and I should focus on his good qualities in public. On the other hand, today I will be getting tough and writing e-mail to reconvene his IEP. He's almost five and still does not do anything at all on the potty. We've tried so many different techniques, and they only get him saying that he doesn't want to sit on the potty (no matter what the incentive is) by the afternoon. What I'm doing doesn't work and I'm at a loss. We NEED to get goals for this on his IEP and I need professional help to get him trained. I don't want him to go to kindergarten with a personal care aide simply because he's still wearing diapers!
Okay, it's time to get their hair brushed and ready for school (so I can get to Starbucks and act like a grown-up).
One more thing: I love my nephew, but it is with great relief that I announce that I will be watching him for a total of only fourteen more days.
As much as I loved him being home (and trust me, I did) I'm looking forward to school starting again for the kids and getting back into normalcy. The week before break B was sick and home with me, so I didn't really get to take advantage of having all of them in school. But today . . . as soon as I drop them off I'm heading over to my favorite Starbucks, buying a Chai Tea Latte (Is it sad that the manager knows me by name and last time I was there even remembered that my drink is a tall non-fat Chai Tea Latte, no water, no foam? Just asking.) and finding a table to spread out on and write my Hebrew School and Religious School plans for the month. Aaahhh, things I can't do with kids by my side.
We allowed A back on the laptop yesterday to try some new games he got for the holidays. He hasn't had significant time on it since his IEP team recommended limiting the amount of time on a computer, since it is his main area of obsession. In any case, wow - we saw a lot of autistic symtoms that we haven't seen in a while. Hadn't realized how much limiting the computer time was helping! Between the hands over the ears and the flapping fingers and single-minded focus, he was a different kid altogether.
I've realized with A that I have to stop using his diagnosis as an excuse. Yes, he has Asperger's and yes, that explains a lot, but I find that when he displays the slightest Autistic-like behavior I'm telling everyone around me about his diagnosis as a way of excusing/interpreting his behavior. They don't all need to know that! He is an incredible kid. I know that he has lots of problems, but I also know that the way I've been adapting his environment at home and in the way we deal with him has made it much easier for him to cope with the world, and I should focus on his good qualities in public. On the other hand, today I will be getting tough and writing e-mail to reconvene his IEP. He's almost five and still does not do anything at all on the potty. We've tried so many different techniques, and they only get him saying that he doesn't want to sit on the potty (no matter what the incentive is) by the afternoon. What I'm doing doesn't work and I'm at a loss. We NEED to get goals for this on his IEP and I need professional help to get him trained. I don't want him to go to kindergarten with a personal care aide simply because he's still wearing diapers!
Okay, it's time to get their hair brushed and ready for school (so I can get to Starbucks and act like a grown-up).
One more thing: I love my nephew, but it is with great relief that I announce that I will be watching him for a total of only fourteen more days.
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