Blog comments, potty training, and delegation

I love getting comments on my blog. It's so nice to know that people are actually reading what I have to say. But it feels like it's always the same couple of people (who I GREATLY appreciate) and I wanted to see if I could widen my readership (is that even a word?!!). So today I went through the list of blogs I check in with daily and made an effort to comment on almost everyone. (Nancy and Karin, don't be offended - I comment on yours all the time!) Thank you for the additional comments on yesterday's post - made me feel great, even while my son is frustrating me to know end.

A couple friends suggesting just sticking him in underwear and see if he reacts more when he's wet. As soon as I'm done, I'm going to try that. Let's see how that works. Someone mentioned to me last night that there are two women who you can pay to come in and potty train your child. They charge $200 and guarentee their results. Am I wrong for wanting to hire them? I'd GLADLY pay the full $200 if it would really work. I don't quite see how they could guarentee it, but I'd be willing to find out!

I'm president of my MOMS Club, and have been feeling terribly overwhelmed and like I'm letting everything slip through the cracks recently. So I'm trying to find ways to delegate even more. I just came up with a way to delegate a lot of the responsiblities with the newsletter. We discussed it last night at the Board meeting and then I sent out an e-mail to everyone involved to make sure we're all on the same page. I even made sure that our new secretary is now in charge if someone doesn't receive a copy for some reason, and the editor (who will now be in charge of sending it out via e-mail to the members who choose to receive it that way) is in charge of helping members who can't open the attachment. She was even going to cc me the e-mail when she sends it to the printer (used to be my job, but didn't need to be) and at first I agreed but then I realized that I don't need to be in the middle of this, so told her to cc the new secretary. I'm learning. I have an idea to delegate another aspect of the job, but that Board member wasn't at the meeting to discuss it with her. I hate using the telephone, and e-mailing her always is weird as none of her personality/voice comes through in her e-mails, always leaving me feeling like I offended her in some way. Hmmmm...maybe I'll see her soon and can just discuss it with her in person. I know, I'm a wimp, but it would make it easier if I could actually see her face while I'm discussing it with her. It's always much easier to "read" someone that way. I guess that's why I prefer it so much over using the telephone. It's too easy for the other person to say one thing and mean another when you can't see their face or read their body language.

I'm off to start transferring all my household files into my new-to-me hanging file folders (thanks, Karin!). I get way too excited about the idea of reorganizing files.

My week

Wow - I haven't checked in for a few days - that's not like me.
Keeping this computer armoire locked all the time so A doesn't touch the computer seems to be helping me not be on the computer so much, which is probably a good thing.

The boys turned four on Tuesday. We spent the morning at the Please Touch Museum (thanks, Aunt J!), ate lunch in the car on the way home, had naps (the boys fell asleep and stayed asleep for another half hour or so in the car once we got home), went to a playdate, had everyone over for dinner and cake and presents. Whew! It was a long day!!! Yesterday we celebrated my dad's "un-birthday" (he's a leap year baby) - in the card I wrote for him I told him that I know that this is just another ordinary day, but 70 years ago, around this time, he was born, and we're all very happy about it. We all chipped in and got him a snow blower. His comment when he saw it is that it's not really a gift for him, is it! DH and my brother-in-law have had to go over each snow storm for awhile now and shovel out his driveway and sidewalk so he doesn't take upon himself to do it. When DH heard what we were getting him he was almost giddy.

And today was my very last Mom's Morning Out! One girl never showed (she only came once a week for this final session - two months), one girl had already started her "big girl school", so we only had one boy with us today. I just read a book about a woman's experience running a home day care from 9-5. She did it with her sister. I don't know - doing it full time sounds tough. Doing it for half a day seems more plausible, but I guess if I were to ever consider doing that it would have to be full time. Doesn't matter, I'm thrilled MMO is done for awhile. It a great source of income when we needed it, but since we don't desparately need it right now, I'm thankful to be done.

Yesterday afternoon we began a more intensive, though relatively laid back, form of potty training for A and J. I wasn't planning to do J, too, but she's very interested, so couldn't stop her. At home, they have been naked from the waist down, encouraged to sit on the potty as much as they want. That first afternoon, J peed five times on the potty! A held it in for four hours, then peed in a diaper during the five minute drive to my parents. Even there we got him naked again, but he just seems too anxious to do it. I even put the diaper on the potty for him to sit in, but that didn't work. Finally today I decided that when he needs to pee or poop, he just had to tell me and I'd put a diaper on him. If he managed to pee in the diaper then, he'd get an m&m. It took him all morning holding it in, but he finally did it right after lunch!!! I figure we'll continue like this as much as possible for the next few days and then transition into sitting on the potty in the diaper when he has to pee/poop. Slow going, but I've never seen a kid more uncomfortable about going on the toilet or the potty. Hopefully this gradual transition will do the trick. PLEASE any suggestions, offer them!

Spinning so fast the room moves with me

As per usual, things are spinning so much out of control it's hard to figure out how to reign them in and what to focus on first. I guess my first job is to quickly clear off the white board so I can write a to do list. I have a bunch of MOMS Club stuff that I'm really behind in, so I need to jump on that, and I also have a ton of laundry to finish, but can't get to the machines yet because I piled up a ton of stuff on top of/in front of them on Saturday in prep for the boys' birthday party (yes, I had to do a stash and dash for those of you who know FLYlady), so I can't do the laundry until I clear out the stuff. But I also have these important eval papers I have to fill out for A to get the ball rolling for evaluations for him from the IU. Plus I have to organize and tackle my taxes to get that refund back. Plus I never totally finished organizing the stuff coming back into this computer armoire, so I have some paper stuff that is homeless. Plus I have the bills to get finished. Plus I have Hebrew School tonight and have to finish my plans. Plus I have to finish cleaning the house from the party. That's why I feel out of control. Aaargh!

And then this morning I did something so dumb. I wear glasses for reading not because I have a vision problem but because my muscle in the one eye is weird and needs the extra support. If I don't wear them, after a couple minutes my eye starts turning in. Well, I only had a few minutes this morning to read and didn't feel like going downstairs. Dumb. I ended up so dizzy this morning I thought I was going to throw up all over the place. When I'm sick like that I have no patience and found myself yelling more than I needed to. But every time I moved my eyes the whole room kind of tilted with me. Blech. It really took the whole morning to get better.

Okay, I'm ready to make a dent in my list. Plus DH will be home relatively soon so he can (hopefully take over with the kids). That would help me get even more done. Here goes.

A calling

Just tried to wipe off the dry erase marker off my brand new white board that is attached to the inside of my new computer armoire. It's not coming off! I guess it's really a white board as oppsed to a dry erase board. Okay, later today I will try rubbing alcohol. If that doesn't work, I've heard that hairspray might work. Okay, it'll be okay. I didn't ruin my brand new armoire. Really I didn't.

The boys' party went great. One of the moms came up to me after I was done doing some songs and activities with all the kids. She said, "When are you going back to teaching? Clearly it's your calling!" Wow, that felt great. And, not trying to sound full of myself, I know it is. It's nice to have something in my life that I know I'm good at. Especially since it's clearly not mainting white boards! Okay, letting it go . . . I'm so grateful I have the teaching opportunities I have to teach at my synagogue. I teach kindergarten Sunday School. We have a curriculum, and there are two different one and a half hour sessions. I also teach resource room Hebrew school - the place all those kids go that just aren't catching on to learning a new language, or that come into the year brand new but three years older than all the other kids, or are younger than but more advanced than all the kids in their class. I get them all. Currently I have eight kids at four different levels. Piece of cake. But I like the challenge and I like that I can provide meaningful activities for the kids to work on while I'm working with other kids. I also teach the preschool Shabbat program on Fridays. Really nice to see the little kids chanting the prayers that I have taught them. I'm done the Mom's Morning Out program that I started two years ago. We have a make-up session on Thursday and then that's it. I'm glad, but also kind of sad. It was a great opportunity for me to teach preschoolers, but it's also kind of tough to teach a group of kids that contain my three. I KNOW they act differently for me than they do for others, and that's not surprising - just frustrating. So that was kind of rambling, but bottom line, I love teaching, am grateful that I can teach at the synagogue, and am also looking forward to having a full-time classroom again, way off in the distance.

DH is going to be home at 3:30 today, instead of his "usual" 11:00. Woohoo!!!! I have a ton of stuff that I hope to get done during the two hours before I have to get ready for Hebrew School. As for now, we're late. Have to get two of the three dressed, get shoes on all of them, get them all cleaned up, help them pick out show and tell, and get their coats on. Once I drop the boys off, J and I are going to the produce store to get all our produce and then to the library for a parent/child workshop. When that's done I'll have time to pick out a few books and then pick up the boys. Gotta go!

"Normalcy" approaching

Definitely had a good couple days, but now I'm a little burnt out. I've been doing the "single mommy" thing for the last three weeks or so, and it's definitely taken it's toll. I'm VERY thankful that DH's show opens tonight and he will actually be home with the kids in the morning until he has to leave for a meeting, and then he's going to have them in the afternoon so I can get everything ready for the boys' birthday party at 3:30. Then he leaves for the show at 5:30, and I clean up and collapse. He has the matinee on Sunday, so I probably should voluntarily give up my Sunday afternoon time to clean the house so I can go to my in-laws' and take over with the kids. And then Monday brings "normalcy" - no more late nights for DH. I've been surviving, but it's beyond a doubt tough to take care of four kids all day and get three kids ready for bed every night by myself, especially when they're all under four!

But I'm sitting here at my new computer armoire. Not only was I able to go through all of my papers on Wednesday and purge a TON, this has doors that shut and I can either lock them or put a child lock on them. A can't get to the computer unless I let him. The first time he tried and couldn't I started dancing. This will make things SO much easier!!!

Alright, just spent the morning driving all over with J to pick up all the remaining things for the kids' party. If I had more time and energy I could do more for the party, but I don't and they'll be thrilled with anything we do so I'm not driving myself crazy. I need to get my butt up so I can drive on over to the Temple and start part two of my day: leading the preschool Shabbat program. We're making masks today for Purim. Yay. Yawn. Getting up. Here I go. I would give anything to be able to crawl into bed for the rest of my day and have someone else to all the stuff I have still to do today. Okay. That said, I'm going.

Spinning in circles

I'm breaking the cycle today.
One thing that is overwhelming me is paperwork ad nauseum. For running the house, for the kids, for bills, for the MOMS Club. It's too much. I'm going to use the fact that I just bought a new computer armoire as impetus to clean it out. I have a friend's husband coming over tomorrow morning to put it together, and I have (hopefully) someone from Freecycle coming to pick up the old one tonight. So my plan is to take every scrap of paper out of this armoire (it's a lot), box it up, and sort it on the dining room table. I'm going to push the table first into the corner of the room so the kids will have more room to play since they will not be able to play in the playroom while the new armoire is being put together. Should be fun with the three extra kids here for my MMO. In any case, once the papers are on the table, I will sort them by category and put them into folders - To Do and To File - for the various things I do (teaching at the Temple, MOMS Club, Bills/house paperwork, kids). There are certain things that I'm so far behind in, so hopefully I can get them accomplished too.
Okay, here goes.

Self Destructive

Yup. That's the word (Or words, I guess I should say. Though I could hyphenate them and make them one word. Hmmm....) I've been searching for. That's me. And no, I don't mean I cut myself, or throw up my food, or drink too much. It's all tied around the whole sleep thing. Every night I end up staying up too late, in a stupor on the couch, the mess of the day all around me. When I crawl up to my room, I tell myself that I will do better tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and I do everything I can to stay in bed just five minutes more. Which makes me late in starting the day. Which means that I can't get anything much accomplished before having to deal with the kids. And then by the time the kids go down for a nap I'm beat. So by then I barely make it through dinner and getting them ready for bed and then I collapse on the couch only to start the cycle all over again.

AAARGH!!!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

It's very frustrating, especially when I have so much that I have to do and am ruining my chances of getting them accomplished.

Today's the day.
Even though I'm tired, I'm ending the cycle today.
I'll report back to tell you how I'm doing.

The Wheel Keeps on Turnin'

Life right now feels like a giant exercise wheel that just keeps on turning. Things pile up on the side, extra things, important things, things that I have to/want to deal with, but I have to keep moving my feet or this wheel will stop and everything will come crashing down.

I just got the most flattering message that a director I had auditioned for before, someone who had come very close to casting me, specifically asked if I would audition for the show he would be starting next month because he needs some "really good women." So nice to hear, and DH is willing to pick up the slack around here so I could do it (his show will be over by then). I thought about it a lot, but decided I just can't do it yet. Rehearsals wouldn't end until around 11 probably, which would mean between driving home and winding down I wouldn't be asleep until 12:00. I will begin watching the baby full time by the end of next March. Five kids, aged four and under. I don't think this is the time to jump back into the world of community theater. I feel this was a very mature decision. It would be so nice, but I think I just have to stick with what I'm doing right now, not try to add something else in to the mix.

Okay. Need to try to focus on some of those things on the side of the exercise wheel right now while the kids are quiet. Let's see how much I get done.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

From the back seat:
B: I want to be a doctor when I grow up.
Me: That's great. How about you, A, what do you want to be when you grow up.
A: I want to be an alien.
Me: (laughing) Well, honey, an alien is someone who is born on another planet. You came from this planet, so you won't be able to be an alien. (Yes, let me just crush that dream a little farther down. Now I realize I could have said that he could be an astronaut and let it go, but . . .)
After a pause
Me: Do you have any other ideas of what you want to be?
A: I want to be a tree.
Me: A tree?
A: Yes. It's on this planet.
Me: (Not able to argue with that logic and not wanting to destroy two of his dreams in one day) That sounds great.

Me: And J, how about you, what do you want to be when you grow up?
J: Um...um...a blockbuster.
Me: A blockbuster? (laughing)
J: Why laughing, Mommy?
Me: No reason - that's a great idea.

****************************************************************************
This morning, as we came downstairs:
B: Let's watch the new video Daddy got from the library (notice that he's still Daddy while B still insists on calling me Mom)!
A: That's a great idea, B.
B: Thank you!

My children, even though they drive me crazy sometimes, make me laugh every day.

Rescued from drowning

After driving around with the kids so DH/the high school kids could watch them during his rehearsal so I could attend a MOMS Club New Member Social this afternoon, and after feeling like a single mom for the last two weeks+, when DH came home from rehearsal so we could all drive over to his parents' house, I described my emotional state:

Whenever anyone asks if I'm going to do another show soon, I always tell them that I'm doing everything I can right now just to keep my head above water. After the last couple weeks, I feel like I've been treading water for longer than I'm physically able to and that I've already gone under a few times and am not totally sure if I'm going to make it back up to the surface.

He took the kids by himself to his parents. I got the house to myself so I can bring back some level of order. Aaaahhh.

Here's what I got done in the last three hours:
Two loads of laundry completed and put away
Picked up in every room of the house - I set the timer for ten minutes per room. Some rooms that was enough, some I worked longer.
Dusted and vacuumed the entire house

It might not seem like much, but it sure feels like it! Plus, I got to do it in silence. No one arguing, no one whining, no one asking for "Just one more saltine, Mommy, please!" It was FABULOUS.

And I owe it all to my incredibly supportive husband. Even though his rehearsal was very long and draining, he not only agreed to take the kids for those three hours, he even brought them back ready for bed and once we got them all down for the night, he vacuumed the downstairs. What a guy! (He is standing over my shoulder as I write this, so I kind of had to say that - but he is a great guy none the less.) I won't say what I had to promise him to get him to agree to all this because I just found my mother-in-law reads this. :)

I still have a lot of STUFF that I have to get to, but at least the house is orderly. Always makes me feel so much better.

A's Goose Egg

Yesterday my friend Karin came over with her three boys. We decided to get together each Thursday afternoon to force both of us to do something creative with the kids. We're going to take turns planning something. I think it's going to go great! We made cookies yesterday, the kids each getting a turn stirring and pouring. At the end of the night, A ran into the kitchen and ended up banging his head into the counter hard. When I picked him up from crying as he laid on the floor, I saw he had a huge goose egg that was already bruised and bleeding. We didn't need to go the hospital or anything, but the size of the bump made me nervous enough to call the doctor. Luckily they didn't say we HAD to go the ER or anything, just to wake him a couple times during the night to make sure he wakes up okay. When I woke him up the first time, I asked him what his name was just to make sure he was actually coherent. He looked at me like I had two heads as he answered, saying "A" in a way that said, "Mom, don't you know who I am? Why are you waking me just to ask me this? Are you nuts?" It's always nice to get that kind of look from your child. DH called while I was still waiting for the doctor to call back, so I let A talk to him. He started wailing as he told Daddy, "I have a goose egg!" Clearly he had no idea what that meant, so I had to reassure him that it was just a bump on his head, that he was okay. Poor thing! He's doing much better now. I was really okay, just a little nervous because none of them had ever gotten a bump on the head that was that big before. It's a little scary!

How I can I be angry with the boys for sneaking cookies out of the diaper bag when the reason I found out is because B was bringing me one?

As we're looking at various things that we can buy with the money my grandfather left me, I am very excited about the possility of a new computer armoire. One of the behavioral problems we're having with A is that he seems totally obsessed with every thing electronic. He just cannot leave certain things alone even if it means an automatic time out. That especially means the computer. We bought a large computer armoire two years ago when we had to bring the computer downstairs so J could have a room. Since it had a door that closed we thought we'd be okay, and we bought a lock that went across the top. A broke that from trying to pull the door open. I just found one that I REALLY like on-line. I can't wait to finally have DH home so I can show it to him (can't wait for him to get home for lots of other reasons too!). Let me show it to you so I can at least get some feedback from someone! Note the door knobs that I will be able to put a child lock on that A is currently NOT able to open, plus the storage/white board/cork bord on the doors. Nice!

http://www.staples.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/StaplesProductDisplay?prodCatType=2&storeId=10001&catalogId=10051&langId=-1&productId=131925&cmArea=SC2:CG91:CL142279:SS1025012

Okay, that's it for now. Have to get my butt in gear - I'm so overwhelmed by paperwork I'm going crazy. I totally missed sending out my MOMS Club newsletter that had been sent to me on the 9th to be sent out THAT DAY. Duh!!! I just wish I could get two whole days where someone else would watch the kids somewhere else and I could just sort/purge my files and take care of all the papers everywhere, catching everything up. Then I feel like I'd be able to handle it better. For now, every time I feel I get on top another tidal wave of paperwork comes crashing down over my head. I'm going down for the count. Glad I learned to tread water!

My poor, tired husband

After complaining somewhat about my DH in yesterday's blog, I e-mailed him to check it out, think about it, and leave a comment. Well, he did, but wouldn't leave a comment. His e-mailed response was that the show that he's directing right now is "kicking his butt." It is. He's usually at work until about 10 or 11 at night most of this month so far. I know that. And I wasn't referring to just right now. I just was trying to express things that he does that makes me feel loved. Anyway, when he got home last night at 10, he started picking things up around the living room as he told me about his day and even started the dishwasher for me. What a good guy he is!

I had written about how I sometimes don't feel like I'm doing a great job as a mom, that I know I could do better. Well, one of the solutions I came up with was to share the responsiblity with another mom who was feeling the same way. We are going to go to each other's house one afternoon a week and whoever's hosting will come up with an activity for all the kids to do. I'm hosting for the first time today. I'm really excited about this.

Okay, gotta get my butt in gear. Had a playgroup here last night that forced me to clean up (and was a lot of fun!) but the playroom is still a mess and I should pick it up before the kids get here!

What is Love?

Let me start by saying that my husband loves me. I know he does. He tells me often. And I love him too. He is an amazing father, and a great husband. He truly is a terrific person.

He shows he loves me too. He buys me wonderful cards on Valentine's Day, on our anniversary, on my birthday. On Valentine's Day he buys me a Whitman's sampler of chocolates, usually heart shaped. On Mother's Day he gave me the best gift of all: one Saturday "off" a month, to do whatever I want. And for Hannukah he gave me a gift I can hardly even imagine: one whole week for myself this summer, where he will be in charge of all the kids for the entire week. I'm telling you, I've got a great husband!

I hear some of my friends talk about their husbands and I know I've got it good. They talk about how they can't go places at night until their kids are in bed because their husbands just couldn't handle bedtime. Or how they could never spend a few hours on their own on their weekend without getting a babysitter because their husband has his own things to do. Or how they can't go anywhere at night because their husband has sports and cards and other hobbies to do each night. I've got it good.

Which makes complaining feel petty. It feels like nagging, and I hate that feeling. But there are certain things that say "I love you" to me, and when they don't happen, I feel unappreciated.
Love is:
* locking up the house before going upstairs, making sure we're all safe.
* taking the trash out, and checking the can to see if it needs to go out.
* emptying the dishwasher in the morning.
* helping clean up at the end of both of our long days.
* knowing what the other person likes and surprising them with it to show you were paying attention, like their favorite flowers, their favorite foods/candies.
* cleaning up the dishes when the other person works hard to create a special meal for the two of you.

Like I said, I know I've got a good husband. And I love him. Completely.
But love is an action word. The things I listed above are some of the ways that help me feel loved. How about you?

Ever get the feeling . . .

of just sitting in the middle of the living room and wanting to cry? I'm not going to (the boys are in there watching a movie), but it's always around this time of day that I crash. I know it didn't help that I stayed up WAY too late last night (dumb, dumb, dumb), but it's something about getting all four kids lunches, cleaned up from said lunches, changed/to the potty, and down for a nap or laying down for quiet time. It's such a whirlwind. I hear myself uttering phrases I never thought I would say: "No, B, put the toilet plunger down!" "A, you may not pick your sister up by her neck!" "DN-A, the Wiggles guitar has to stay down here. I'm sorry you're sad, but you can't sleep with the guitar!" "J, put your clothes back on!"
I try to cope by setting the timer, letting myself chill and/or vent for a little, and then tackling one job at a time. But today I'm TIRED!!! I could go to bed right now and probably sleep for three hours (gee, kinda like DN-A). BUT . . . before my wonderful sister gets here to hang out while her son continues napping upstairs so I can take my three to the dentist, I need to: clean up from lunch, make lunches for tomorrow, make the potatoes for tonight, fluff and fold the clothes in the dryer, put a load in the washer, have the kids make four more Valentine's Day cards, pick up the crap that exploded this morning all around the house. Plus I have four other important tasks I have to complete (like pulling all my tax info together, balancing my checkbook, etc.).

AAARGH!!!

I hope I go to sleep early tonight.
Two nights ago I had a really bizarre dream, almost like a movie. I woke up with my fist clenched (because at that point in my dream I was on a prison bus and had to defend myself against the other convicts who just realized that I was actually a pre-surgical transexual, not really a prisoner like them - I told you, bizarre) and the joint of my one finger hurt so much all day. It hurt to the touch, it hurt to bend it. I thought that it might be the beginning of arthritis, but since it's not like that today, I guess it's not.

Okay, timer's going off. Maybe if I work really fast I can get everything done before my sister gets here in forty-five minutes and can shut my eyes on the couch before she arrives. Yeah, maybe . . .

Blog drama

I first discovered blogs when I noticed that a couple friends had one. After reading their blogs for a week or so, I started clicking on their blog links and started reading those blogs. I added a Blog section to my favorites and now began regularly checking in with various blogs. After about a month, I was inspired to start my own. I wasn't sure what I'd write, but I figured maybe this would motivate me to journal on a regular basis, like I wanted to but never kept up with.

So began my blog journey. I soon discovered a whole world of mommy bloggers, and an entire subset of infertility bloggers. Having struggled with infertility for five years before finally getting pregnant with my boys (after three cycles of IUIs and two cycles of IVF, lots of drugs, lots of procedures, lots of tests) I was interested in reading the infertility blogs too. I had no idea there was a whole level of blog politics in both of these worlds! I don't get it - I thought we wrote to get our experiences out there, maybe helping someone in the process. I thought this was a way to connect with others going through similar experiences, to receive advice or sympathy if needed. I noticed that some blogs are way more popular than others (though haven't quite figured out how that happens), and that there were actual Blog awards (interesting, but so what). Apparently there was some whole drama that I missed completely over one blogger posting her own awards, some nice, most nasty, all meant to be funny but some missing the mark. After reading a few blogs that were obviously very wrapped up in the whole thing, I decided I don't need any extra drama in my life.

I deleted every blog that mentioned this drama.

I feel much better now.

Super Saturday

Yesterday I:
* Took the kids to a new library for Sally's Music Circle (an interactive kids' concert). The directions I got from mapquest were WRONG and took me to the wrong end of the very, very long road that it was on. I kept driving, hoping desparately that I would happen upon it, because when I mentioned that I couldn't find the library, B started crying that, "Now we're not going to see Sally!" We finally found it, and it was VERY crowded. But the kids enjoyed it. I may have lost three pounds keeping track of all three of them in the crowd (aaahh, if only it were that easy).
* Brought the kids to the park next to the library to play - I think all libraries should have parks connected to them. It makes the library a full morning or afternoon destination. Seriously, go for a story time (usually 30 minutes/45 minutes), take some time to pick out books (another fifteen minutes), and then what? Go home?!! If there's a park next to the library, then you have another hour filled before going home for lunch/dinner. Perfect.
* Bought McDonald's for lunch (Yay, Mommy!) so the kids could have a "picnic lunch" (eating lunch on the living room floor while they watch a movie). A and B fell asleep in the car so I let them sleep in the car while J and I went in and ate lunch. They slept for almost an hour! I kept going to check on them but they didn't budge!
* Cleaned, decluttered, and rearranged the kitchen. DH got home early due to the snow, so while he played with the kids, I got to work on the kitchen. It was fabulous. I used my timer so I didn't get overwhelmed. For every fifteen minutes I worked, I gave myself a five minute break. For whatever reason (mainly because DH was in charge of the kids) I was able to get so much done! I love it. I honestly don't know how many times I walked in there just to look around and marvel at how good it looks. I mean, I even cleaned off the top of the fridge of all the crap that was up there. And the bowls and trays that were left at my house since this summer from various parties that we gave? Put away. I have no idea whose they are, so if anyone reads this and remembers that they left something at my house, speak up and I'll pull it out for you. Otherwise, I don't have to keep them on top of my fridge and cabinets looking ugly!
* Dusted and dusted and dusted and vacuumed the boys' room to clean up the mountain of baby powder they liberally sprinkled all over their room Friday night. Do you know what it's like to have to dust almost every book, every surface, every drawer? Powder was EVERYWHERE. But at least their room is clean now. We decided an actual punishment was in order for this, so their two Playmobil toys (a pirate ship and a castle) were removed for two days.

And now it's Sunday. The snow that started yesterday is STILL coming down hard. Sunday School was cancelled, Baby J's naming was postponed until next weekend (good thing because since I lost my voice yesterday I would NOT be up to singing at it today as requested), and poor DH has been shoveling for a while now. He even walked over to my parents' house to shovel their driveway so my 70 year old dad doesn't do it all himself. He's a good husband and an even better son-in-law. We had told the kids we would play in the snow today but it's REALLY deep. We would literally lose J (I think it's over her head) and it would probably be up to the boys' chest - that's deep! I MIGHT take the boys out when J naps, but I don't think they'll want to stay out that long. That's an awful lot of work involved just to bring them out for a little bit.

I am hoping to be able to work today on the playroom just like I worked on the kitchen yesterday. DH is probably going to want to collapse when he gets home, and I know he still wants to dig out his car and re-shovel our driveway (it's still snowing). I don't think I'll get the same uninterrupted time as I did yesterday, so maybe I'll do fifteen minutes of work followed by fifteen minutes of playtime with the kids. Or even ten minutes with the kids, five minutes for myself, then back to work. I'll try it and see how it works out.

Enjoy the snow!

"Sleeping In"

I told my mom last night that I was so excited because I got to sleep in this morning. I told her that DH was leaving for school at 7:45. She looked at me like I was talking a different language, and finally asked, "How are you sleeping in if he has to leave so early?" Ummm...I guess I was talking a different language, the language of the mom with young children. When you normally get up at 6, sleeping in until 7:15 is HEAVEN!

The boys had trouble settling down last night. I heard them walking around and talking for a while after I had put them to bed. Sometimes they do that and are normally asleep within twenty minutes, so I didn't really worry. Then I heard B calling downstairs, "I'm really sorry!" That's never good. When I went upstairs the smell of baby powder smacked me in the face. The boys, their room, their bed and blankets, their toys, everything was covered with a thick coating of baby powder. I guess the snow forcast arrived a little early for them. They are both repeating, "I'm sorry." "We're really sorry, Mommy." It's driving me nuts - they keep doing things they KNOW they're not supposed to do and then apologizing for it. I keep explaining to them that saying they're sorry after doing something is not enough, that they need to just NOT DO IT!!! I'm sure this is something that is only going to get worse as they get older, so I would love to make the importance of this concept clear to them now. I know, good luck. I decided it was too late for baths at this point, so I washed off their faces and hands, turned their pillowcase over and made them get in bed. I warned DH that when he woke up with them he would need to put them in the bath tub first thing. And that was that. Except for the fact that I still need to clean up the layer of powder covering everything in their room. Joy.

My throat was hurting some last night, and my voice was getting deeper, so I really shouldn't be surprised that my voice is COMPLETELY gone this morning. A whisper is all I'm capable of today. And since I'm in charge of the kids all day, should make for a fun, fun day.

I'm actually going to take them all out this morning. One of the local libraries is hosting "Sally's Music Circle" which is an interactive kids' concert. My guys should love it. And it gives us something to do, which on days like this when I feel like crap is wonderful!

B just announced that he had to pee. I whispered for him to go upstairs! He paused to tell me that if you mix pee you can paint with it (we had been mixing paint colors the day before). I said no, but as he went upstairs he told me, "But you could." I better pay close attention the next time we're painting.

I got a little loving grief from some friends who read my post about perfectionism and being a lazy mom, so I feel I need to respond. I do not doubt that I'm a good mom. I'm often disappointed with myself that I'm not as good a mom as I know I could be. Does that make sense? Don't misunderstand, there are plenty of afternoons when I know that letting the kids watch a lot of tv is a necessity, like when I'm sick or have stayed up all night the night before, or whatever. It's the other times, like yesterday. I made the choice to watch ER Thursday night. Stupid, especially since I know I could have taped it, and I know that I need to be asleep by 10 at the latest to function well. But I did it anyway. So after I dropped the boys off at school and I set up for the Shabbat lunchtime program I teach, I took J home to give her some "breathing medicine" (she was coughing a lot and having trouble catching her breath, so I pulled out the Albuterol). When I was done, I planned out menus for the next week and made a grocery list. After shopping (and entertaining a tired, cranky, and generally melting down toddler), I ran home to drop off the perishables and then ran back to school to pick the boys up. I got them all over to the annex (the building next door to their school where my class takes place) along with the juice, cookies, and challah I picked up from various places around their school. I gave my kids their lunch and then worked on making the final preparations I needed for the class (pouring the paint for our project, pouring the juice for the service). After leading the age-appropriate Shabbat service (during which time MY children were the ones lying in the middle of the rug, not participating), I then directed the kids in planting parsley seeds in a cup and then painting the cup (why is it my children were the ONLY ones who tried to paint the INSIDE of the cup?). We then cleaned up, got the kids all washed up, and brought my three plus DN-A home for a nap/quiet time. After everyone was down for the count, did I A) bring in the groceries still in the car?, B) clear off the breakfast dishes that I left congealing on the table?, or C) lay down on the couch to shut my eyes until the last possible moment I could? Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner. Now granted, after typing all that, I can see why I was tired, but I ended up laying on the couch, only getting up to retrieve J who woke up, or to retrieve a juice cup or two, from 2:30 until almost 5, when we should have been walking out the door to go to my parents' for dinner. It would be one thing if I layed down for half an hour, but I ended up wasting the entire afternoon! The house is a mess (huge understatement), the groceries were not put away, there were so many other things that I NEEDED to do, but I didn't.

Of course, right now I'm sitting at the computer typing while the groceries are all on the table, the house is STILL a mess, and the kids are watching tv.

And B just came in all excited because he discovered I got him "circle crackers." "Thank you, Mommy," he screamed as he put his arms around my neck and planted a kiss on my cheek, "You are the best Mommy I ever had." I guess I'm doing something right. :)

Perfectionism raising its ugly head?

Or is it just self-improvement and wanting to be the best I can be?

I feel like I go back and forth with this and am never satisfied.

Don't get me wrong - I feel overall I'm a pretty good mom. Because I was an elementary teacher, I am used to dealing with lots of kids at one time, and I am pretty patient, which obviously doesn't hurt. But I also feel I could be doing so much more as a mom. There have been many afternoons where I have just let them watch tv much longer than I had planned to. I justify it to myself by saying that it's educational, and it is, but three - four hours in a row of anything is not good! I have the best of intentions, but then I get tired, or lazy, or just . . . I don't know, and it's really hard to follow through.

It's funny. I feel this way in my role as a mom, as the one in charge of the house, as the MOMS Club president, as a Hebrew school teacher - I could be doing so much more! I have fabulous ideas, but it becomes more and more difficult to follow through. I guess I just get overwhelmed by life. I have grand plans, but I try to do too much and it's all I can do to keep my head above water.

If I apply the FLYlady principles to my life, I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life would be ten times easier. So why don't I do it? That's the twenty-five million dollar question.

So here's my plan:
I am going to pick one different type of activity to do with the kids each day, even going so far as to assign each a day. Monday - playdough, Tuesday - painting, Wednesday - board games/cards, Thursday - cooking, Friday - scrapbooking (which translates to letting them use stickers, glue, and scissors, maybe leftover pictures). There we go. After "quiet time" (my attempt to get the boys to take a break while DN-A and J nap) (okay, it's also my attempt to give ME a break!), we will turn off the tv and do our activity. Maybe I'll first do a school type activity with the boys before J wakes up, like letters and numbers. Yes, that sounds doable.

As for the house, I need to stick to my routines and go to bed on time. They're definitely inter-related. If I don't go to bed on time I have a hard time coping and want to nap by 2. If I DO go to bed when I should (in bed by 9, lights out by 10 at the latest) EVERYTHING is so much easier! So here is my plan for each day:
1) Get up BEFORE the kids and shower and dress
2) Swish and swipe the bathroom
3) Get the kids dressed and straighten up their rooms BEFORE we go downstairs
4) Clean up from breakfast after we eat
5) Throw in one load of laundry

That's the morning (my AM routine). After lunch my plan is to:
1) Clean up from lunch and make lunches for tomorrow
2) Dry clothes, fold them, and put them away
3) Finish dinner if not done already

Then after dinner I will:
1) Clean up from dinner (wipe off table, chairs, counters, put all food away)
2) "Shark" (love my cordless vacuum!) the dining room and living room
3) Put all toys away
4) Prep dinner for tomorrow

Obviously I will involve the kids as much as possible in all of that, but that's my plan.

Okay, feels good writing it down. Let's see how I stick to it.

He did it!!!!

A, at the ripe old age of 3 years and 11 months, just peed in the potty for the first time. Can you hear the cheers coming from my house?

Back from my weekend away

I had an amazing time at my scrapbooking weekend, really incredible. I got almost the whole year of 2005 scrapped (40 pages) and laughed so hard I literally almost peed in my pants. It was one the best weekends I ever had.

That being said, there is always such a harsh letdown after such a high it leaves me breathless. Part of it is from being tired (Saturday night we stayed up until 4:30 in the morning, then I got up at 8:30 to eat breakfast and get more done), but part of it is just changing gears. It's tough to do! I kind of feel like a train - moving so fast in one direction and then all of a sudden having to screech on the brakes and start moving in the other direction. I almost hear the chugga-chugga slowly slowly starting as we begin to move.

I'm making some tough discoveries about what I feel to be my lazy ass style of parenting lately, and I'm not really happy with myself as a mom. Don't have time to get into it now, but have made some decisions that I will write about soon.

50TH Post

I feel like I should make an effort to make this post momentous in some way, to commemorate the fact that it is my 50th. But I've got nothing.

The boys broke the shelf on our computer armoire that held the keyboard and mouse. Real pain in the butt right now. I can type with the keyboard on my lap, but I can't let A do it - nervous he'll break it. This is going to be fun, keeping him away from the computer all day!

DH and I had a date Saturday afternoon to walk through IKEA to get some ideas for furniture. We've been discussing all the ways we can use the gift my grandfather gave us in his will, and furniture that fits our family's needs, especially dining room furniture, is on that list. It was so much fun to walk through IKEA knowing that we could actually buy much of the things we saw that we liked!

J has really started singing and dancing along to music. Her favorite toy this week is this Wiggles microphone - she pushes a button and starts bouncing as she sings whatever song starts playing. Cracks me up. She'll do it in the car too, singing along to the Wiggles tape we must play over and over and over again. She even recites what they say in between each song. Very cute, but clearly a sign that we need a new tape in the car!

I leave Friday afternoon for a full weekend away to scrapbook. I love scrapbooking, but I truly love the camraderie (sp?) over the other women. It's so fabulous to get together with a bunch of other women to do something creative. We're all doing our own thing in our own way but are sharing wonderful stories at the same time. I'm REALLY looking forward to this weekend.

Kids will be arriving in forty minutes. Anyone have a good Groundhog Day craft?

Crazy morning

After talking to my sister numerous times yesterday, I got a call around 4 or so - through tears she's asking if I can keep DN-A there longer. Apparently she is suddenly experiencing strong stomach pains. The midwives want her to head over to the Birth Center. So strange, since she had sounded fine every other time. It turns out that she developed an infection of the uterus. She was given strong antibiotics and was told to rest as if she just had the baby. After I dropped the boys off this morning J and I headed over to her house to help out. She's better but still very uncomfortable. I'd never heard of this happening before.

As I was getting the kids breakfast this morning, I got a call from a friend of mine (A.) in my local Flylady group. Apparently another friend from the group (K.) had posted that she needed to be taken to the hospital. A. was the first one to read the messages and called me since I live closer. K. had been having back pain for four days but woke up experiencing numbness in her arm, blurry vision, and slurred speech that all came and went. She was really scared. I spoke to her a few times on the phone and she really didn't sound good. I think I convinced her to go immediately to the hospital. It seemed like it could have been a heart attack or stroke, or just a lot of back pain causing her to panic. She's still at the ER right now, but is feeling better. It will be interesting to find out what happened! I'm so relieved to find out that she's doing better.

I was able to actually accomplish some stuff around the house yesterday. I really didn't want to, but knew I HAD to, that it would make me feel so bad if I didn't get anything done all day. I set the timer for fifteen minutes and every time it went off I had to work for fifteen minutes. Then I took a break for 15, either reading a book or playing with the kids. Seemed to work really well. I'm going to try that for this afternoon now. My morning routine was pretty blown since I was making phone calls for K. and then spent the morning with my sister, but that's okay - I'm going to catch up now. Have to put the laundry in, get dinner cooking (my normal morning routine chores) and a bunch of other stuff. Here goes!

Lazy day

Since B is officially contagious until this afternoon, we are laying low today. I had to cancel the MMO for the morning, and the kids are watching tv and playing checkers (well, there version of checkers, which is stacking the pieces up and knocking them down). I need to get my butt in gear because there's lots I could be doing right now. Need to set the timer so I at least get SOMETHING accomplished. Maybe if I set it to go off every fifteen minutes and I do something each time. I'll try that and see how that works. If I could only stop yawning . . .

Weepy, yucky eyes

Yuck.
B seems to have pink eye or some other nasty eye infection. He's had it since yesterday. His right eye especially is all swollen and weepy. He was up a lot last night, coughing and complaining. At 2 I gave him a cold pill (the last one - getting him to take liquid is near impossible, so we stick with the quick dissolve pills - he even gagged at the Triaminic quick dissolve strips) and some ibuprofen. At least he was able to get about 3 more hours of sleep.

I'm trying to call the doctor right now to get an appointment for right after I drop DN-A and A off at school, but they're not picking up. Normally I would just try to have the doctor call in a prescription but I want to get him checked out because 1) his eye actually isn't pink, though it is quite swollen and gross, and 2) he had a fever yesterday, though not now, and that's not a side effect of pink eye that I read about so I want to see if there's more going on, or if it's something else entirely. Hopefully they will pick up soon - I'm calling during their "question hour".

Yesterday was my opportunity to clean the house. I teach until 1 and DH takes the kids to his parents for most of the day. I join them around 4 for dinner. So I get a decent amount of time to clean and prep the house for the week. I didn't get home until 1:45, and by the time I put my stuff away, I had convinced myself to lay down for a little bit first and THEN clean. Yeah, right. I ended up waking up at 3:45 when DH came home to pick me up. DAMN!!! I missed out on all that time. And it wasn't even GOOD sleep. I kept resetting my timer for another ten minutes, and another ten minutes. It wouldn't have been good, but it would have been so much better if I had just committed to taking a long nap. I would have ended up more rested! But I did go to sleep by ten last night, so that was pretty good.

Hopefully I'll be able to get B checked out and pick up meds and be back home by 10:00. Then I can get him to lay down on the couch and maybe get some work done around here!

I miss my prep period

When I was a teacher, I used to get a forty-five minute worked into my schedule for planning. Of course, being an elementary teacher, ten minutes was eaten up walking the kids back and forth to whatever special they were scheduled for, and usually ten more minutes was spent returning phone calls and/or writing notes back to parents, but I usually got at least twenty or so minutes to do some prep work for special activities for the day or the next day.

I usually also arrived at school at least an hour early to get things ready for the day, and I usually stayed for two to three hours afterwards to come up with fun new things to try and mark papers. And then on the weekend DH and I would spend hours at Borders with all our school work spread out on one table, grading papers and planning for the week ahead.

I really miss the opportunity to prep for special activities to do with the kids now that I'm a mom. I think I would be a much better mom if I got that chance on a regular basis.

Frustration

I'm ready to cry.
I just spent the last forty-five minutes (plus interruptions) writing an entry. It was one of the first times I was able to spend more than my customary ten minutes on a post. I was nearing the end of it when B needed something. A found his way to the computer, even though I told him not to touch it, and clicked on something else. Of course, I hadn't saved it as a draft before I went to help B so it's gone. I've tried everything I can think of, and it's still gone. I'm going to have to reype the whole thing. I'm so frustrated with him I told him just to leave the room. He tried coming in again to see if I was finished on the computer yet and I told him why I'm angry and said that he needed to go into another room RIGHT NOW.

I have tried so many different things with A to get him to listen and nothing seems to make a lasting impact. One of the things that may be causing a problem with his behavior is his apparent intelligence. I SO do not want to sound like one of those parents that I have had to deal with as a teacher that can explain every problem away with the fact that their child is a genius. But A is reading and writing and so focused on how to work various electronic things it amazes me. That's one of the reasons I can't get him away from computers, radios, stereos, answering machines, anything electronic. On the other hand, many times it's that he's so facinated watching the electronic display that I fear he's just trying to self-stimulate his brain and that he might have some larger problems that I can't diagnose. I'm going to call the IU and schedule some testing for him. If nothing else maybe they can suggest some behavioral techniques I haven't tried yet.

Just got my step-niece to agree to babysit for DH and I for this afternoon. I try to work it so the babysitter comes while the kids are all awake so we're not paying for him or her to sit while the kids are sleeping. No, I want them to earn their money! We will be home by bedtime so I'll put the kids to bed while DH drives her home. Then DH can watch a movie together or something. We plan to go to IKEA to walk around and get some ideas since we now have money to spend, thanks to Grandpop. Then we'll go to dinner where we can have some uninterrupted time talking about how to best use the financial gift he gave us. One thing we have decided on is to send the boys to school next year (five mornings) and send J for two mornings. We're even going to set money aside for the following year so J is totally taken care of. So nice to know that we won't have to scrape and save to come up with the tuition payments each month!

Okay, let me get the kids involved in something productive. It's tough. Most of the year, we've worked it out so I get Saturday mornings to myself. DH wakes up with them and is in charge until lunchtime. During the next few months, he will have Saturday rehearsals most of the day each Saturday. Not having the morning to "recharge" makes it kind of hard. Oh well, can't complain - I know there are plenty of other moms out there with no breaks at all.

Another frantic morning

Will write more this afternoon, but for now it's another frantic morning. Went to an evening playdate last night with someone from Mother's and More who I didn't really know and ended up having a fabulous time! Thank you so much for the hospitality. Sorry if I talked your ear off and if my kids destroyed the house too much. :)

On my way home, I picked up my groceries from Acme. I had ordered them on the computer the day before. I called Acme as I was heading there and they brought them out to the car and put them in for me. So sweet!!! I could write an entire post on the joys of on-line grocery shopping, but I won't.

I stayed up too late last night, which was a huge mistake considering what a busy day I have today, but it was for a good reason. My mom called when I got back home last night to tell me that my grandfather had left us a sizeable gift in his will. I woke DH up to tell him, and then we both started brainstorming about all the different things we could do with the money. Even after he went to bed, it was kind of hard to head upstairs for me. Too many thoughts running around my head. In addition to the various things we could buy for the house (a large shed for the back yard being at the top of my list), the question of the boys' school comes up. If money is not a factor, do I want them to stay at their current preschool. How important is it to me to not have them attend PreK five mornings a week. I know if it were up to them, they would DEFINITLY want to go - the LOVE school. I'm just not sure. Hmmm...

Okay, have to run, will check back in later.

Still yawning after all that sleep

A slept late today (over an hour later than he normally sleeps). That's unheard of in this house. J and B were both up before him, so I let them come into my room while I got dressed and since I had some of J's laundry that I hadn't put away yet (see, procrastinating comes in handy sometimes) I was able to get her dressed. B's clothes were all in his room where A was sleeping, so I just brought J and him downstairs. A woke up around 7:30 and wandered downstairs to join us. It's the first time he ever woke up to a non-gated doorway - he was very confused.

But now it's ten after eight and two kids still aren't dressed, no one has shoes on or their teeth or hair brushed, breakfast is still on the table, and the living room needs to get picked up some more.

On the plus side, I went to bed on time yesterday AND cleaned the kitchen and dining room before I went upstairs. The difference is that I didn't have anywhere to be last night, so I was able to give the kids their neb treatments before dinner (while DN-A was still here). As soon as DN-A was picked up, I was able to put dinner on the table (okay, had to heat it up first). After dinner, I let them play while I cleaned up from dinner completely. Then I took them upstairs for a bubble bath. All three of my kiddos in the tub and me without a camera. Too cute. I took them out one at a time by doing "Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Moe" (which they thought was hysterical and didn't mind getting "picked" to get out) and was able to dress each one while the others played in the tub or in their room - it worked out. When I was finally done, I walked downstairs to a clean kitchen and dining room. Very nice. When DH is home, one of us gets the kids ready for bed while the other cleans up, but when he's not (like last night) it's imperative that I clean up BEFORE I take the kids upstairs or it doesn't happen!

This afternoon DH will be late again, but I plan on dropping DN-A off, driving to a pizza playdate at a member of Mothers and More's house (I will bring the kids' sleepers and change them before we leave), then going to Acme to pick up the food I ordered on-line yesterday. Hopefully that works out as smoothly as I anticipate. I'll call Acme today to see where I go and such.

Okay, now it's twenty after 8 - REALLY have to move!

Random Observations

Just had to do some serious negotiating with J: "I need to put you down now."
"NOOOOO!"
"Just for a little bit."
"NOOOOO!"
"I need five minutes to do some writing."
"Okay."

B is not quite four. Don't you think it's too early for him to be insisting on calling us "Mom" and "Dad"? A and J are both still calling us Mommy and Daddy. B seems to feel so grown-up and proud of himself for calling us these new names. I've even told him that I'm Mommy, not Mom, but that doesn't seem to matter (or maybe that's why he's insisting on it). He works the name into conversation with me at least twice per each interaction. I HATE hearing it! I thought I would be "Mommy" for a while more!

The kids met their new baby cousin yesterday. As I anticipated, A was blase about the whole thing ("Hi, Baby J. Now...what can I get into at Aunt J's house."), B wanted to hug and kiss her immediately, and J, the one I thought would be jealous or disinterested, was so infatuated with the baby she could hardly take her eyes off her. It was a really interesting reaction!

I should be awake right now. Lights out at 10 last night, maybe another ten minutes or so to fall asleep. Was able to stay in bed until about 6. Why am I still tired?!! Tonight DH will be late, so I'm just giving the kids leftovers (we ended up eating at J's last night so we still have untouched leftovers in fridge), he has his grad class Thursday so we're going to a dinner playdate at a friend's house Thursday, Friday at Mom and Dad's for Shabbat dinner - woohoo, no cooking this week! :) Anyway, my point is I'm going to bed even earlier tonight!!!!

I have to get the boys ready for school. Then J and I are coming back here. I have computer work to do (all the stuff I didn't get to yesterday and more), clean-up to do, and laundry to catch up on. But at least no dinner to cook.

Sorry this was so scattered today. I'm tired.

Took the cereal box away from A and ended up spilling it on the floor.

Stayed up too late last night and am now going to be tired all day.

Didn't get up when the alarm went off so I was not able to get a head start on the day.

Did not clear off all my hot spots before I went to bed so now I'm starting the day behind.

Never prepped dinner or made the kids' lunches yesterday so now have to squeeze it in sometime this morning.

I feel like I am making life so much harder for myself than it needs to be!!!

Okay.

In the next thirty minutes (because my Mom's Morning Out kids arrive at 9) I need to:

1. Take my pills
2. Clean up from breakfast
3. Brush my teeth and hair
4. Get dinner in crockpot - Naaa, scrap that, I need to search the fridge for leftovers!
5. Get the kids' hair and teeth brushed
6. Put shoes on the boys
7. Clean up living room and dining room and kitchen so they are relatively presentable.

AAARRRGHH!!!

Let's see, life could have been so much easier if I had done #7 last night and if I had gotten up earlier the rest of the list would be done now too.

After MMO today I take the kids to preschool so they can have lunch and I can meet with the boys' teacher for conferences. Then I drive DN-A home so he can take a nap and my kids can meet the new baby. Then we go home so I can put J down for a nap. I need to try to buy groceries on-line (Acmemarkets.com) - never did it before but would like to try! I also need to balance my on-line checkbook and pay a few bills. I need to prep tomorrow's meals this afternoon because I'm going out tonight to a Mothers and More meeting. And I plan to go to bed as soon as I get back from that meeting. Okay, that's my plan.

Here goes.

Good and Bad

DS' baby was born early Saturday morning at 3:16. What a night! We had told DS that she had to hold off until Friday afternoon. We ended Shiva at 12 - her water broke when she went for her last appointment at the Birth Center at 2! They told her she could wait until 4:30 to head over to the hospital. I got there around 5:30, and stronger contractions started at 6. My legs became so sore because I breathed and rocked and moaned right through every contraction with her, helping her focus. She did great! And baby J was 8 lbs 7 oz, 20 inches long, with a full head of black hair. Beautiful.

So that was the good.
Burying Grandpop in the pouring rain - bad.
Sitting shiva at Mom and Dad's - not as bad as I thought.
Prepping each night for the next day's shiva since we never knew when we'd get that call from DS = bad. Just so tired by the end of the day.

The disaster that is my house = very bad.
My parents' house is clean. I was there every day and night, cleaning, prepping, organizing - their house looks good. Since I was only hear in the AM and then in time to go to bed, just about, this house is trashed. I spent some time yesterday cleaning, so it's not as bad as it could be, but it's still not good.

I have more to write, but I'm tired! Just never really caught up from missing a whole night's sleep Friday to Saturday. And J has a cold and apparently threw up from coughing last night, so I have a lot to clean up still. She woke around 5 and I went in and changed her sheet and pjs, but when I went back in before 7 when she woke again I saw that she had it in her hair so that sheet needs to get washed too plus her "Mine" (her favorite bear/blanket that she carries everywhere), plus needed to bathe her (it's all out but her hair still doesn't smell great). Now we just got back from the supermarket to get more laundry detergent (what a time to run out!). I need to change her, do her breathing medicine (making sure the cold doesn't progress to her lungs), gather up all the laundry and rinse off the vomit (YUCK!) and put in a load of laundry. And then we'll see how much time is left before I need to pick up the boys!

Shiva has ended

I'm so tired - the kind of bone-weary tiredness that just pervades everything you do or think. Add to the hell of this last week the fact that I got my period today and have cramps like you wouldn't believe, plus have to go to the bathroom constantly because that's how my period affects me (gross, I know). I'll try to write more this weekend. Need to get my thoughts out. But for now, I'm tired.

I'm beat!

Just got back from my parents'. I'm exhausted. DH got home at 5 and I took off. Went to their house and made dinner, then cleaned up from dinner (with help), and then got thing set up for tomorrow. We're expecting lots of people, so there was a lot to do, even with food trays being delivered. Luckily my sister was able to come over here during nap time so I could run to the mall to find something to wear for tomorrow. Ever go funeral clothes shopping? Not the most fun way to spend an afternoon, especially when you don't like shopping anyway.

So, their house is set, I'm made arrangements for the kids for tomorrow and prepared their snacks and lunches. I have to pull out what I'm going to wear tomorrow to make sure it all works together and nothing needs to get ironed or anything. I'm so tired I can hardly hold my eyes open (literally - it's tough to write) but I just wanted to vent a little. :) Going to be a long day tomorrow. The big thing is that we're hoping Jessica can hold that baby in until Friday. It's a long shot, but if she can at least wait past tomorrow, we'll be happy. We do have someone set up to make sure their car is accessible at all times in case we have to take her to the hospital.

Is it Friday yet?

Funeral Homes

I know, real uplifting title, right?

Today we'll be bringing my grandfather's suit to the funeral home and meeting to discuss the arrangements. Luckily the funeral home takes care of shipping his body back home, so one less thing on our list.

I went to my parents' yesterday to begin cleaning their house to prepare for the funeral and shiva. It's funny - tried cleaning my house and only got so far as vacuuming the living room and picking up in the playroom. Was too quiet and got too distracted. So I went to my parents' and cleaned there. My mom got home from Florida and my sister and I both hung out at the house. It was nice - my mom got to talk about this last week at the hospital, about saying good-bye to her father, about the process they went through to get the ventilator turned off and to have him extabated. It seemed very cathartic for her, so I was really glad we could be there.

Spent a good amount of time watching Jessica's belly perform contortions. Even though she was due yesterday, we're hoping she can hold the baby in until Friday night (we're ending shiva Friday at noon, so that would be the conveniant time). Watching her strong contractions yesterday (the whole belly rises up to a peak, stays there for a while, then relaxes - aaahh, memories), I'm not sure she's going to make it. I guess as long as she holds out until Wednesday afternoon, since the funeral is in the AM, I'll consider us lucky. We'll see . . .

It's over

Grandpop died yesterday afternoon.

My mom will be home this afternoon. We'll go to the funeral home with his clothes tomorrow. And the funeral will not be until Wednesday. Then we'll sit shiva at my parents' house for seven days. Fun, fun, fun.

My sister called me with the news because my dad wasn't feeling well. He called me soon afterwards to take him to the ER due to severe constipation. Classy, I know, but he was really uncomfortable. They were able to make him more comfortable, but he needs to get it checked out with his GI guy because they need to figure out what caused the blockage in the first place. Since he's a cancer survivor, it could be connected to that (a reoccurance), but I need to keep that aspect of what the doctor said quiet for now because everyone is going through enough right now. More fun.

Jess is ready to pop that baby out every second, but now we're hoping she can at least hold out until next weekend, poor thing.

And my other sister, my friend that I have had since first grade, just called me. I knew her husband read my blog, so I thought she was checking in to see what's going on with my grandfather. No, she was calling to tell me that her MIL just died from ovarian cancer last night, the same thing that took her mother when we were freshman in high school. I'm so sorry that these things are all happening at the same time. I want to go be with her and her family right now, but need to be here with my family. This sucks so much. I told her that in the future we need to work on staggering these kinds of things a little more.

And that's all I have to say today.

Latest news

I wish I was in Florida.

The ventilator was turned off some time earlier. Luckily (and I still don't know why) they did not have to wait the full 72 hours that Florida law apparently dictates for those without a living will. My grandfather is on morphine and is still breathing faintly, and they're not expecting it him to live much longer.

Yesterday when I arrive home, a package had arrived - a case of oranges from Florida. This was a gift from my grandpop that he obviously had sent early this week. Amazing how things can change in one short week.

I hate that my mom is there going through this and I can't be there with her. I'm glad her brother is there, and my grandpop's sister and lady friend. I'm so glad that everyone was in agreement with what had to be done. If he somehow pulls through and continues to live, he will have very little quality of life. He will be blind in one eye due to a brain bleed, he will not be able to communicate in any way. Apparently in addition to the minor stroke that sent him to the hospital, he also had a heart attack and two massive strokes while in the hospital. He would HATE to live totally reliant on other people.

So now I'm just waiting for the final update. Then we have to start making arrangements for shipping him and everyone else back home and the funeral. It's so hard to think about all this when he's not actually dead yet, but that's the way it is. I offered to make phone calls or help when I spoke with my mom this AM, but there's nothing to be done yet.

So we wait for word.

Further updates on my grandfather

My mom is probably in the air now flying to Florida to see her father. We all came close but have not actually said that she will be saying good-bye. She and her brother are in agreement that he should not be kept alive by tubes and such, and he wouldn't want to live in a diminished cognitive level. Can you imagine what it would be like to be alive for years without being able to communicate? They don't think that he will gain back his lost language. Apparently when he had the heart attack yesterday morning, his brain was deprived of oxygen for a long time.

We're telling DS to cross her legs for now. She has her weekly midwife appointment today. She had been planning to have them sweep the membranes today (she's officially due tomorrow) to get things moving (it helped start my labor with J) but now doesn't even want them to do an internal. I'll be there to support her if labor starts, but we both want my mom to be there too. Mom revealed to me yesterday that she is always so fearful when one of us goes into labor since we know someone who died during childbirth. She loses sleep and has nightmares. So she REALLY wants to be there when DS gives birth - just in case.

DS and I are checking out a new preschool today after I drop the boys off at school. It's $140 a month PLUS they'll give me a sibling discount. I just hope it looks as good as it seems. Can't wait! Then I have a playgroup to go to with J, and then we'll take all the kids to McDonalds' for lunch. After naps we'll all go over my parents' to get things ready for Shabbat dinner.

I'm going to be a wreck every time the phone rings.

Turn for the worst

My grandfather either has a tracheotomy or has been intubated. Big difference, but we're getting conflicting stories from his sister and his lady friend. My mom might head down (tough decision considering Jess is due any second).

Updates

Grandpop Update: My grandfather is stable. He's not improving but he's not getting worse. His bp is normal now (Thank God) but his muscles and speech are not. We'll see what happens today.

Preschool Update: My MOMS Club had a preschool fair yesterday and I found a potential preschool for the boys. It is more than half of what I would have to pay to send them to their current school for next year, plus I wouldn't have to send them 5 mornings a week! They're even able to offer me a 10% sibling discount. I love the school they're at now, but the director/preK teacher at this other school seemed great! I'm going to observe tomorrow morning with my sister (assuming she's not in labor yet) - if I switched schools, she would have to as well since I'm the one driving her son to and from school.

I'm really late now, so have to run.

Grandpop

My grandfather had a stroke last night.

He and his lady friend live in Florida during the winter months here. One of the hardest things about this is that we cannot just go to the hospital and see first hand how things are going. According to the overnight report, it is considered a minor stroke. At this time he has some cognitive damage and is not necessarily using his language correctly. He can repeat what you say but cannot retrieve the right words on his own.

Tired. Needed to sit and veg. I did what I normally do with tough situations - went numb. And I stayed up to late just being numb.

When my grandmother went into the hospital, we all were there. I still remember being with her in the ER room, before she went back to ICU, watching my proud, soft-spoken grandmom literally writhe in pain, not even caring that the blanket covering her naked body kept falling off. It was so awful and the week that she was there did not get much better. We kept getting calls in the middle of the night, "This is it, come to the hospital to say good-bye," and then she would improve slightly. We learned that she had an ulcer that had been hidden by scar tissue and was now bleeding and the acid had basically leaked out into the rest of her bloodstream/organs. The ulcer was caused by the ibuprofen that she had taken daily for a while on an empty stomach. The family had stayed in that damn sun room almost around the clock, waiting for the times they allowed visitors into the ICU room. And in the end, we learned that she was not improving as we'd hoped, she was actually in a lot of pain but was not able to speak. We thought she had been squeezing our hands at various times towards the end, but it was actually mini-seizures she was having; when they gave her a tranquilizer they stopped. Then we realized that she was so much pain and we made the decision to take her off life support. We were all in the room when we did that, and I will never forget the look of peace that came over her face when she actually died. It was so dramatic, so different than how her face had been looking the past week. It was beyond hard, but a neccessary decision none the less.

Well, that was a long tangent, just hard to think of my grandpop in the hospital without thinking of my grandmom. Apparently my grandfather's bp was 201 over 199, and he was experiencing congestive heart failure (gee, with his bp so high, ya think his heart was having trouble?) and had fluid in the lungs. Plus the stroke. That's the latest.

Have to go get the kids ready for school and myself ready for my MOMS Club meeting (which I'm so NOT in the mood for today). At least my VP is in charge of this one, so I'm going to try to cut out early.

Okay.
On with the day.

Happy De-Lurking Week

Apparently it's an actual thing - I read about it on a couple of other blogs. Sooooo . . . if you're someone who has been lurking, reading my blog and not commenting, today's the day! Leave a comment, let me know who you are, tell me what you think, offer some advice, ANYTHING! :)

Not much to say today. Taught last night and it was a good class. I teach Resource Room for kids learning Hebrew at the Temple and having trouble. I have four kids on four slightly different levels, and last night I was able to keep each one engaged and working even as I worked with them individually. No easy juggling feat, let me tell you. After school I went to the library to get a bunch of pirate books. My friend hired me to be the entertainment for her son's pirate party this Saturday. I'm psyched! So much so that I'm scrapping my other plans for today and declaring today a Pirate Day. I want to try out all the different songs, games, and activities that I'm planning to see how they go over and to see how long they will take. I'm supposed to fill an hour - it's tough to keep kids' attention for more than fifteen minutes, so I'm looking at a big variety of things: sitting still to listen to a story, then getting up for an active song, then sitting down for a quiet song, then up for a game, etc.

Because I didn't get home until later than I'd like to last night, and was still revved up, I couldn't go to bed early. At least I went upstairs so I didn't fall asleep on the couch. And then DH had to leave early today (set the alarm for five) and I don't even remember more after his alarm went off - next thing I know it's 6:45! J had woken two hours earlier and I convinced her to go back to sleep (it's still bedtime, lay down) but no one else made a peep until then. They'd been waking around 6 recently, so that was nice. However, it meant that I didn't get showered or dressed before they got up, and they flipped when I mentioned taking a shower, so I only threw clothes on. I think waking up before them in enough time to shower, dress, throw a load of laundry in, and put breakfast on the table (if I didn't do it the night before) makes ALL the difference in the world. As it is, I now have less than thirty minutes to: get breakfast cleaned up, plus the kitchen counters and dining room floor, get the kids washed up, get myself cleaned up a little more, clear off the dining room hotspot (no I didn't do that last night!), get the kids' shoes on, and throw the laundry in. There's probably a few more things I should be doing too. Damn, I HATE HATE HATE that I do this to myself all the time. That's why I'm trying to establish my two goals for this month (to go to bed on time and to clear off the hotspots before I do). Alright, fresh chance tonight. Better get moving!

Possible Tuition Solution

Here's what I came up with (and DH is willing to try):
Apply tax refund to 1) the rest of this year's tuition, and then 2) next year's tuition up to Feburary (when we will then receive next year's refund).

Doing this will free up what we currently pay for tuition each month for us to use. I plan to put half of that into savings each month and use the other half to allow us to loosen our belts some. I THINK this can work!!!

Busy morning, already behind

Didn't go to bed on time.
Didn't clean off my hot spots.
Didn't even get out of bed when I should have. In fact, I even made J get in bed with me after she absolutely refused to go back to sleep and turned on Elmo for her just so I could sleep a little more.

Hanging my head in shame.

Now I'm very behind! I could kick myself. It's such a nasty cycle I get myself in all the time.

I have to finish getting the kids ready for school (teeth and hair brushed, shoes and socks on, show and tell items picked out), clean up from breakfast, and plan out at least the meals for the week so I can go grocery shopping later this morning. After I drop the boys off at school I will be meeting a MOMS Club friend at IHOP for "breakfast" (I plan on bringing J's cereal and milk with me, I might order a hot chocolate) and then heading to the grocery store. Hopefully I can get the groceries put away before we need to pick up the boys.

Really need to run, but just had to share: I found out what 5 morning a week tuition costs at the boys' school for this year (I'm guessing it will go up some for next year). It's going to cost us $600 a month to send them to Pre-K at the Temple. Impossible. I'm going to contact the Temple Board and the Rabbi to see if any financial assistance is possible. I also casually mentioned it to my MIL - we would not turn down help if they offered. And we'll see.

Scrapbooking

J is sitting on the floor next to me with her new nesting cups, counting each one, "One, two, fifteen, thirteen, twenty, five, six . . ." She cracks me up.

I got to spend all day yesterday scrapbooking. It was wonderful! DH had the kids all day. He's so great. :) We started the day all together by going to breakfast at "Old McDonald's." The kids are just convinced that the restaurant is named after the man in the song. We decided that it was the most money we ever spent for the worst food we ever ate. Blech! The pancakes tasted like styrofoam. Oh well, it was still a special treat, and the kids loved it. After that DH went with the kids to a couple bookstores and I went home, packed up my stuff, and was off. A friend of mine gets us access to her church the first Saturday of every month for us to crop. When a consultant sets that up, you have to pay anywhere between $5 to $25 just to be able to work. She gets us the space for FREE!!! I was able to do a power layout for all of 2004. My goal (and this may be crazy) is to: order all the digital pictures from 2005, finish the rest of 2004 (doing a few pages a week?), and then do power layouts of 2005 before my scrapping retreat the first weekend in February. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to finish that three day weekend (I'm so excited!) totally up to date. Then I could just scrap stuff as it happens.

To anyone reading: how do I include links to other blogs and websites on the side of this blog? I just can't figure it out, but am confident that one of you reading this can help. Thank you.

Okay, have to get the boys dressed (I dressed J before we came downstairs - she's wearing her first pair of tights in well over a year and as I put them on she was complaining, "Too tight! Too tight!"). J is now busy putting her puzzle letters in her cups and carrying each one in to give to the boys. She says she's "making cups." So I'm going to get the boys dressed, breakfast cleaned up, a load of laundry in, type up a quick newsletter for Sunday School, finish getting myself ready to go (shouldn't take long), and go to Sunday School to teach. When Sunday School is over for the day (two sessions - start at 9:30, done at 1) I will go home and clean (a WHB for you FLYlady fans) and plan out the week. The kids will be with DH at his parents. Ooo, here's incentive for me: if I can clean and plan quickly, I will have some time left over to scrapbook some, maybe to at least order the pictures of 2005. Nice.

Aaaaaahhh

Do you hear that huge sigh of relief?

You should. It's pretty big.

DH called while I was out for lunch to tell me that he just got his paycheck and obviously received the rest of his supplementary pay for directing the plays and running the newspaper, which came at just the right time. It made his paycheck double what it normally is. Considering I wasn't sure how we would be paying all our bills this month since we used up all our savings and our expenses are slightly more than our income no matter how I finagle the budget. I had just been hoping to get all our tax stuff together ASAP so we could get our refund back. It has been for a LOT of money the past few years (three kids = lots of deductions). But now I don't have to wait quite as anxiously. As soon as I'm finished writing this post I will be opening up Microsoft Money and balancing the budget and seeing where we stand.

I came to a huge financial realization a few days ago. While I agree that watching my sister's newborn along with my three and her other child will be challenging (to say the least), all along I've been thinking how great that extra money will be. I've even started fantasizing: being able to pay all the bills at the beginning of the month, putting something into savings each month, maybe being able to afford regular cable in BOTH tvs . . . Well, I don't know how I missed this, but to make life a little easier for myself, I decided that I couldn't run my Mom's Morning Out at the same time I'm watching the baby - it would just be too much. Somehow I didn't really stop to think about the fact that I would therefore not be receiving that money, which when I worked it out, comes to the exact same amount of EXTRA income I will be receiving from my sister when I start watching the baby. In other words, there will be NO change in our income at ALL!!! Yeah. Just peachy.

DH has been working late the last few days (they just auditioned and started rehearsals for their next show at school), and for the first time ever, the kids have been REALLY affected. We start each morning with one or both of the boys crying and whining for their daddy. B was saying, "I miss my daddy." over and over again. When I told him that he would see him tonight and then all day tomorrow, but he had to go to work today, he tearfully replied, "That makes me so sad." I'm glad that he's able to verbalize his feelings (can you tell I've been working on that a lot with them?) but, man, that just breaks my heart.

I did something totally out of character today. I knew the boys would be upset that we were not staying for lunch today. We're in between sessions for the Friday afternoon program I run at the Temple (which includes a brown bag lunch), so we weren't staying today. On the drive over to the pick them up, I started thinking about the lack of friends I have even though there are so many women that I am friendly with and what I could do about it. So, I stepped out of my comfort zone and invited one of the other moms that I have enjoyed chatting with while we wait to pick up the kids and her son to go out to lunch with all of us. She agreed (and seemed very happy to be asked), and we had a terrific lunch at McDonalds. I'm so proud of myself.

Okay, off to fold the laundry and then balance the on-line checkbook.

Confession Time

I have a confession to make.

Last night, after listening to an NPR review of two new country albums, I made a shocking discovery: I like country music. I can't believe I never realized this before. I mean, I'm a singer and an actress - I've always been attracted to songs that have stories in them, songs with incredible lyrics. And yet I've never journeyed down South to try out the other side. But last night, after listening to that review (which I'm sure you realize I mentioned only so you would be impressed with how cultured I am, even though I'm revealing my darkest secret to you), I actually found the country music station (it's now programmed on the car radio).

Driving home last night I listened to a song where a woman describes going to bed angry with her husband - they've been married seven years but it sometimes feels like twenty-one. She says that she's been up since five thinking about their relationship and has come to the conclusion that even though she's still angry and still is sure that she's right and he's wrong, she knows that she's always going to love him and she's never going to leave. She even admitted that she's probably going to say she's sorry first, and that even though she will leave for work without her good-bye kiss, she wants him to know that she's always going to love him no matter what. I'm probably not describing it well, but I could so identify with the story she created with her song.

It was amazing - some of the songs made me laugh, some made me really think, all made me FEEL. That's something that hasn't happened for awhile listening to my classic rock station. So I have to say, "My name is R, and I like country music."

P.S. While I'm making confessions, I ended up staying up later than I expected due to having too good a time with my book club last night, and when I got home I didn't get to finish cleaning up, so I didn't accomplish EITHER goal last night, and now I have half an hour to finish cleaning up, get dinner in the crockpot, shoes on the kids, and prepped for the morning before the other kids get here. AARGH!

My children are strange

They're sitting at the table eating carrots that they're dipping in flavored yogurt. They got a new Blue's Clues DVD about snacktime and Blue shows how to roll a banana on a stick into yogurt and then roll it in granola. They're obviously copying this but EWWW!

After he ate his sandwich B asked, "What else can we eat for lunch?"
I told him that we have some oranges (he's not a fan), a banana, or some carrot sticks.
"I want chocolate chips, please," he states very confidently.
"We're not having chocolate chips for a snack."
Without missing a beat, he states in an equally confident voice, "I want carrots, please."

My sister's step-daughter H was very ill yesterday with the stomach virus. VERY ill. Poor DS - she's 38 weeks pregnant, tired and uncomfortable all the time. H had thrown up 3 times before DS left for work, but DS figured that was it and she'd rest for the rest of the day (H is 16 and her older brother is home from college). When DS called around 1:30, she discovered that H had thrown up approximately 12 more times - she has not been able to keep anything down. DS is (rightly so) terrified of catching this bug (trust me - it's no fun to be 38 weeks pg and catch the stomach virus - I did with J - OW!), but she still managed to finish up work early so she could go home, bring H to the doctor, get the stuff the doctor says she needed, try to give it to her (though she continued to throw up everything she swallowed, even the teaspoon of liquid the doctor said to give her). DS and DN-A ended up staying here overnight to hopefully not be exposed anymore to the germs flying around her house. Hopefully that will help! H ended up finally being able to keep some liquid down in time to not have to be taken to the hospital.

After I took the boys to school, J and I headed to Target to get a new vacuum. Even though J was in a Mood (yes, it has a capital M), taking one child to a store is infinitely easier than taking two children of the same age. I know, duh, but I finally get how other moms must feel with just one child. It's only one child to entertain as you walk the aisles, only one child to buckle in and out of a car seat, plus you actually get to use the cart, designed for one child. I had no idea that apparently, Target at 9:30 is the place to be for moms and young kids. All these things I'm discovering when I go out and about with only one child. And I don't have to stop every ten steps to answer questions ("Yes, they're all mine." "Yes, they're twins." "No, I don't pull my hair out every night."). All of this makes deciding about next year even harder.

Paying for both boys to be attending preschool has been very, very, very difficult. We're close to qualifying for WIC as it is (though not close enough) - adding in an additional $465 a month is near impossible. Next year they will be in PreK, which is 5 mornings a week (as opposed to 3). I have no idea what the rate increase will be. I'm almost holding my breath until we get all our tax info so we can do our return. Hopefully we wil be getting a very nice return and be able to comfortably pay for the rest of this year's tuition outright, then put the rest in savings for next year. Hopefully that will be enough.

Okay, just put DN-A and J down for a nap (DN-A wet his pants again - he told me right as I said, "Okay, it's potty time!"). I'm contemplating not even having the boys lay down for "quiet time" (I keep telling them to lay down while they watch a video) but just let them keep playing. I'm trying to cut back tv time for all of us. We didn't watch any this morning. I'll see how long I can keep it off. B just asked to play with his block, so I told him to clean up the legos first - he's actually doing it! So nice to have him at this point. Oops, spoke too soon. I'm off to help him put the rest away.

Oh, and for anyone who cares, I gave myself two more stickers on the calendar yesterday. Woohoo!

I did it!

I managed to get to bed by 9:15 and had all hot spots cleared off. Go me! I now have two stickers on the calendar as my reward. It's amazing: tell my DH that I want to go to bed early to . . . spend some time with him, but I need everything ready for the next day before I head upstairs, and watch him move! He got breakfasts and lunches ready, cleaned up some of the kitchen . . . boy, he's good. :)

My son A amazes me! He's hovering by my left arm reading different things on the screen. He's THRILLED that I wrote his name just now - "You typed my name, A!" I started writing this paragraph because he came up to me and asked, "Why did you write 'I did it!' ?" I had to look around the screen to find that I had written it as the title to this post.

Today we start the winter session of my Mom's Morning Out. It will run only until the end of February. I will start watching my soon-to-be born niece or nephew in March. The theme for these two months is Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Tales. We're going to be doing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" today - after singing it and acting it out, we will paint a starry night picture.

Okay, A won't leave me alone - he's so desparate to get on the computer to play. I haven't turned the tv on yet for the kids (I normally let them watch for an hour after breakfast) and no one has complained. Maybe cutting tv time down for all of us won't be as tough as I thought!

Resolutions

Here we go. I actually don't like New Year Resolutions because in reality, who really ends up keeping there's? It seems like a waste of time. But I guess if I make resolutions it forces me to focus on my life and I can work on trying to accomplish these goals.

1) Take care of myself
This includes going to bed on time, eating right, and getting some exercise in (even if that just means dancing to the Wiggles with kids in the living room).

2) Building my routines for running this house one at a time so they stick instead of trying to do EVERYTHING overnight. I'm going to focus on ONE each month for each category (taking care of myself and the house). For the month of January, the habits I'm establishing are to go to bed on time and cleaning up the hot spots around the house each night so they don't become forest fires. I'm a dork, and little things make me happy, so I will reward myself with a sticker on my calendar for each day that I accomplish these.

3) Limiting tv time for everyone in the house
This will be tough. But I think it will help me with both of my other goals if I wasn't watching as much tv. So no one else can either. :)

4) Get up to date with my scrapbooks.
I would LOVE to be able to scrapbook current pictures. I want to be working on the current year as it unfolds. But I feel like I should catch up before I do that. I am going on a scrapbooking weekend the first weekend in February (I CAN'T WAIT!) and will be spending all day this Saturday scrapbooking as well (WOOHOO!). Hopefully I can at least be totally organized by the end of the day Saturday so that I can accomplish a ton at my weekend.

I was going to list unfinished projects here too, but I think that may get to be overwhelming and depressing, so I'll just leave it at these four resolutions/goals and see how I do.

Wish me luck!

Still tired!

Okay, I was good - we went out for dinner with our great friends (Hi, N + B!), had a fabulous time while the kids all played at their house with a babysitter (woohoo!), got the kids in bed late, but still okay (had to keep J up a little later to give the coughing girl a nebulizer treatment), and DH and I were in bed by 10. We're okay with being lame. :) So why is it that even though I did that AND was able to sleep in until 8 (Thank you, my wonderful husband) I'm STILL TIRED?!!! ARGH! It might be connected to this stupid cold - anytime you feel like leaving me, I'd be really okay with it!

Anyway, I'm been busy this morning getting ready for my wonderful, hugely pregnant sister's baby shower. I know, Jews traditionally aren't supposed to have showers (all that superstitious stuff), but we're doing it anyway. We're just going to have it at my mom's house and keep everything there until the baby is born. I insisted on having one when I was pregnant with the boys (they were the first babies in the family and we needed LOTS of stuff!), but I was on bedrest by then, so we had it at my house with me camped out on the couch, having to waddle to the tiny laundry area where our makeshift commode was set up for me. We actually had to have two showers because the house was too small for too many people. And after both showers, all the presents had to be driven over to my parents' house at my mom's insistence. Funny. DS' shower is a diapers/meals/anything to make her life easier once the baby is born kind of shower, so hopefully she gets a lot of useful stuff. My mom and I planned out some games: charades with lullabies/nursery rhymes, pictionary with baby objects, a memory game with all kinds of kid/baby objects I found around the house. I made some of the appetizers this morning and will finish up over at my mom's in a little bit. Should be fun! It was kind of last minute (with the holidays and all the date just got away from us), so we had trouble getting people that could make it since so many people apparently go away for New Years - who knew?! I bought a ton of prizes at the dollar store - hopefully everybody gets in the spirit of things and has fun, otherwise I'm keeping them all!

I better finish getting ready and head on over to my parents' to start setting up for the shower. I'll blog about my non-resolutions or life goals tomorrow. There - I wrote it - now I have to do it!

Happy New Year!