Tired Tuesday

I know, it's a lame title, but I am tired. I've done a decent job the last couple of days with following my routines around the house, but a really bad job with actually going upstairs to bed when I should (instead of falling asleep on the couch while watching tv). Add to that all three kids waking up for various reasons last night, and I'm tired!!! To remedy that, I'm not watching any tv tonight. Of course, I'll be out of the house tonight, but I'm not turning it on when I get back, I'm just heading up to bed.

The boys had their four year old check ups yesterday. I discussed my behavioral concerns about A, and she agreed that Asperger's is a possibility. She also encouraged me to go ahead and schedule an eval with a developmental pediatrician now since it normally takes a while to get an appointment. She questioned whether or not we've had his IQ tested yet, because he seems so smart (in addition to his behavioral crap). We haven't (what's the point at this time - we know he's smart!). I'm concerned on how all this will affect B, plus how talking about it is affecting A, so I need to really watch what I say in front of them.

Life with my brother when I was growing up was very difficult. I'll go into more detail when I have more time, but he had ADHD at a time when not very much was known about it. Most memories I have of him are not good (to say the least - he had terrible impulse control and ended up lashing out at me physically quite a lot), but even worse were the fights/confrontations my parents and he had all the time in front of me. As much as I love my parents, I was left traumatized from growing up like that, actually diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. That blew me away, but when I started reading more about it, everything started falling into place. It explained so much, things that I never understood about why I acted the way I did, why I felt (or didn't feel) the way I did. I'll write more about that later, but my point is just that I'm very aware of the need to watch what we say and how we act in front of all three kids.

I know this was kind of rambling - too much going on right now.

Change of plans

I had my "free morning" planned out really well for today. Was all set to get a lot accomplished, including working out at the gym. Well, I have a saying about how "man plans and God laughs." Yeah.

Last night DH was in a show. During one of the poorly choreographed fight scenes he got injured. He hit his head pretty bad. Now, he was able to get through the rest of the show on shere adrenalin, but he was in pain. Even though I thought at most it was a concussion, and would wake him every few hours, everyone else was pushing for me to take him to get checked out. And he can be a bit of a hypochondriac with this kind of stuff, exaggerating symptoms subconsciously the more people show concern, so since everyone there was really really worried, he got worried too. So we spent a good portion of the night waiting in the ER to be checked out for about ten minutes and told it was not even a concussion. AARGH! His head obviously still hurts a lot, and he needed to rest today, but he's fine. And not to be unsympathetic, but my plans sure got screwed up! Not that it's his fault at all, but MAN! :)

Anyway, I'm taking my sister out for her birthday tonight, got a babysitter coming in twenty minutes (woohoo!) who has agreed to be our regular babysitter every Saturday (WOOHOO!) so I'm psyched!

DH just came down and says he feels a lot better (he should, he's been in bed all day) so that's a plus. Okay, off to straighten up and get ready to go out.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, damnit.

"Maaaaaa--mmy!" The yells from upstairs have been going on every few seconds since I confined J to her crib. They started as short shouts of "Ma" and progressed to yelling my name as loudly as she can, stretching out the first syllable as long as she could and then adding on the "meee" at the end.

It started with A. After eating his breakfast, he wanted a "snack." He opened the cabinet, took out the cereal box, went into the living room, and dumped the entire contents on the floor. As soon as I heard him, I ran in and yelled for him to get up to his room. He was very definitely in trouble, and both B and J saw that. After a few minutes, A was allowed to come down and helped finish cleaning up his mess.

Then J took the cereal box and did the same thing.

I love that my daughter watches her brothers and imitates them. When the boys were this age I couldn't trust them in the front yard because they were just as likely to run into the street as to run across the yard. J will not do that, mainly because she has seen that her brothers don't do that. But does she have to imitate EVERYTHING?!!

Thirteen Things I'm Thinking About Today

Thirteen Things about R1. I'm so insanely happy I figured out how to do this Thursday Thirteen the right way it's not even funny. 2. If ever I wished A was potty trained it's days like today when the excess amounts of raisins and prunes I have been giving my children to counteract the constipating effects of all the matzah we've been eating have resulted in severe diaper rash. 3. I hate that A hates having his diaper changed so much right now (understandably) that he screams and kicks. 4. Getting kicked in the face by your four year old is not a fun way to start the day. 5. I actually got some gardening done in the front of the house, the unfenced part, yesterday, something I have not been able to do during the day since the boys were small enough to have them in two exasaucers so they wouldn't go anywhere. 6. I'm so glad that Passover is over today! 7. We're celebrating with PB&J sandwiches today at my sister's house. 8. I couldn't take the complaints about breakfast anymore and told my kids that Passover was over this morning so I could give them cereal (and eat my bowl of cereal in front of them). 9. I have to get the kids and I ready to go in fifteen minutes - why am I sitting here at the computer?!! 10. After reading all the comments I have gotten the past couple of days (thank you for all the things to think about) I realize that I have been too hard on myself. 11. Knowing that I'm being too hard on myself doesn't make me want to have a cleaned up organized house any less. 12. I wish I could get someone to come in, "Clean Sweep" my house, and let me take it from there. 13. Only ten more hours until bedtime. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. Mom Nancy, Becky, Master Enigma, Mary Ann, Carmen, Chaotic Mom, TNC , Chilady, M-J, Ames (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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What Goes Up . . .

. . . must crash on the couch the next night.

Monday night was great, therefore Tuesday ran really smoothly. I came downstairs to all that I had done the night before and it was wonderful. I was relaxed, my attitude towards the kids reflected in their behavior, the house looked nice. We had TWO playdates here, one in the AM and one in the PM, and I didn't feel flustered or overwhelmed, it was just a really great day.

Tuesday night, DH was only home for about an hour and a half. He played with the kids long enough for me to get all the food on their plates, then we ate. We played ouside for a little more and then he was able to start to bathe them for five minutes while I cleaned up some from dinner, and then he had to go. By the time I got everyone cleaned up and in bed, I was shot. I crashed on the couch. Big time. Didn't even totally finish cleaning up. Did not get breakfast made or lunch (we're eating at my parents' tonight so I didn't have to worry about prepping dinner), did not finish cleaning the toys or wiping down the table, cleaning off the counters. I ran the dishwasher and that's it. I didn't even go to bed early (like I should have) because I just crashed.

Therefore today has NOT run as smoothly. The kids have been whiny, I felt rushed, it just took us much longer than it should have to get moving. We had a friend over for a playdate this morning and played outside, even ended up having a picnic lunch outside on this gorgeous day. The visit was great - I love chatting with this friend, and the boys all played very nicely together! So at least there's that, but I'm kicking myself for not following through with what I had done the night before.

I analyzed what was different between the two nights. Do you think you can figure out what happened?

Monday

1. DH was home and in charge of the kids all morning.
2. I got to do an aerobics class in the morning.
3. I got a lot accomplished during the day while he was in charge.
4. I taught Hebrew School at night, so I had energy when I got home at 8:15.

Tuesday

1. DH went back to school, so I got up at 6:30 with the kids.
2. I got very little accomplished during the day, but mainly for good reason (friends over).
3. No exercise, unless you count pushing all three kids at the same time on the swings.
4. Nowhere that I had to be at night, so I sat down on the couch (big mistake).

See the differences?!!

A friend had recently suggested taking a shower right after putting the kids to bed. She was talking about how she did this to avoid hearing her baby cry for those first ten minutes, but I think it would help me a lot to wake me up and not let me sit down right away. I think then I'd be able to at least get things ready for tomorrow before sitting. I know that would make a huge difference. So....I'm showering tonight! We'll see how that goes.

TaDa!

I feel great! It's amazing what a difference it makes to tackle one small corner of the house. I was able to keep going, so the clean spread (it's apparently contagious).
I woke up today to:

• dinner in the crockpot
• breakfast of matzah pancakes on the table (covered in saran wrap), complete with dried fruit (to counteract the nasty side effect of eating a lot of matzah), cups, and honey
• two cantelopes cut up in a plastic bag in the fridge, ready for snacking today
• the ingredients for making charoset (my favorite Passover food) all together in a bowl, ready for friends who are coming over this morning to make it with us
• the toys from yesterday all put away
• no laundry in the washer OR the dryer
• the counters washed off (though they did still have the dishes from making the fried matzah on them, ready to go in the dishwasher this morning after it was emptied)

I was inspired to help the boys straighten up their room before we came downstairs since I cleaned it yesterday. It didn't seem like a waste to make their beds.

I had no problem reminding the kids to put all their dishes in the dishwasher since the dining room table was cleared off of everything else except for their dishes.

The big thing I didn't do was get to bed on time, but I'll work on that today (as I yawn at the computer). I have TWO playdates today (yes, I'm quite busy), but they're both here, so no running around. DN-J is down for her first nap of the day, and I just turned on the tv for the boys (they get to watch some in the morning and some in the afternoon). So it seems like it's turning out to be a good day. It's amazing to me how doing a little makes such a huge difference in how things look and, more importantly, in how I feel.

Looking up

Gotta get a new post up - can't keep the failure title up!
This morning I was able to:

• go work out at the gym (took an aerobics class - now THAT was funny!)
• pick up fruit at the produce store
• get dinner in the crockpot
• fold and put away one load of laundry
• get another load of laundry washed (it's drying now)
• scrub the sink
• clear off one corner of the kitchen (not much, but not bad!)
• pick up the boys' floor, dust and vacuum their room
• gather up all the trash from the upstairs (filled one whole trash bag!)

I have to start looking at the positive!!

Sticking to my goal of only posting my "TaDas" and not my "To Dos", I'm off - and I'm not telling you what I'm going to do! :)

Failure?

I had a post worked out in my mind last night, and I came downstairs all prepared to write it. I was thinking about how I feel about the house, and the word failure kept coming to mind. That sums it up - I feel like a failure. I was all set to elaborate on that feeling, and describe how when I look around my messy house and see the various things lying around I just feel more and more like I have failed. I have failed to keep the house the way I want it to be. Not for company, but for ME. And if I actually am able to do it, actually crack down and get it looking nice, I don't maintain it and it falls apart. And I know what I have to do but just don't do it consistently, which is key, so it ends up looking good only for a few days max. And it just kills me.

But then I turned on the computer and read some of the comments that you all have sent. I AM being hard on myself. I know that. I DO need to cut myself a little slack. And I WOULD welcome all offers of help. :)

I have a to do list on my white board right next to me. I am not going to post my plans on here anymore - I just end up feeling like a failure when I don't do them!!! Instead, I'm going to list them on my white board and post here what I AM able to get done. DH is in charge of all five (hee hee - his idea!) until one, so I need to get my butt in gear!

New day, new chance. Here goes.

Acceptance

I guess what it comes down to is learning to do the things that I dislike before the things I like. I know, this is no huge epiphany, but it's just seems like something I need to accept. Housework may not be fun, but I try to make it manageable. I don't love doing it, but I love when it's done. And if I do a little every day, it's not too overwhelming (in theory).

If I was my own best friend, I would tell myself that I need to suck it up and get to work. I know it. Whining about it doesn't make it any easier. I had some idea what I was getting into when I signed up to be a SAHM. DH and I had agreed that taking care of the house and the bills would be part of my job, with the main emphasis always being the kids, of course. I just didn't realize how much the running of the house would take out of me. I don't know why; even when I was working full-time it was challenging for me. And now with all the kids, it's even harder. But that shouldn't be my excuse.

I'm heading back over to my in-laws' now for dinner. I went with DH to take the kids over this morning so they could find the eggs they dyed last week and go through the Easter baskets they made. Very exciting. But I did slip away for a couple hours back home so I could balance the checkbook and update my on-line budget. Tonight, while we watch The West Wing (as they bury Leo - sniff, sniff!!!), I plan to go through the rest of my papers. I will take care of the bills tomorrow morning. Okay, sounds like a plan.

I'm so friggin' lazy!

Even after I wrote that last post, I STILL didn't get moving right away. I mean, I did eventually, and I guess that's what counts. The clothes are 95% sorted, and I was able to go through 1/2 my box of papers at Border's. Not bad. But I didn't use this one day that I had as I should have. I'm so pissed at myself.

I'm tired of this. So from now on, I'm reporting in on my FLYing everyday. I HAVE to do at least 15 minutes every day on the house. At the very least. I just get so overwhelmed and then look around and realize that it will take so long to make it look the way I want it to look that I just don't want to do ANYTHING. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. So this is it - a fresh start. Hey, I'm allowed to declare a fresh start whenever I want. Doesn't matter if I do it every few months or so. This time I feel I'll follow through. Or else. Hold me accountable, Internet!

Wasting this day!

Duh.
Can't believe the day is half over and I've wasted so much of it!!!

Okay. I've sorted some of J's clothes; I'm off to finish it before she takes a nap. Then the boys. With luck, and moving fast, I can be done both before 1:30. Then I'm gathering up the damn paperwork and setting off to a bookstore to tackle it all. Yes. Here goes!

At least I just arranged for a babysitter for us for tonight. We're going to the movies - woohoo!

Clean Sweep this house!

I'm sure most of us have been here - feeling like everywhere you look there's something to do. It's such a paralyzing feeling! I truly want to do a Clean Sweep, but not just of one room - of the whole house!!!

Okay, I know what I need to do: make a new list, set the timer, and get to work. But it just feels like even if I make a dent, it will barely be visible. I know, I know, that's a defeatist attitude. But it sure feels like that!

A dream come true

Kind of.
I got to spend the whole morning lounging in bed, reading a book. Aaaahhhh, I have a good husband. Since he has off this week, he worked out a schedule so we both had time to ourselves. He had a lot of time off earlier in the week, so now it's getting to be my turn. Very very very nice. I actually get the whole day tomorrow to do whatever. Since I "wasted away" this morning, I better think of some really productive things to do tomorrow!

Thanks for all the responses from my list yesterday. I'm feeling better about my decision, but would still love to hear from anyone else who is lurking (and I know who you are!) to see what others think.

Thursday Thirteen

My totally conflicted list of why I should/should not be president of the MOMS Club next year

1. I'm overwhelmed right now with all I need to do around the house.
2. Next year all three boys will be in school five mornings a week, making my life a little easier.
3. Since our chapter is sistering in July, making the remaining chapter significantly smaller, this is the perfect opportunity to try new things.
4. With a small club we can provide more individualized support for everyone.
5. I had great ideas this year as President that I never got to implement.
6. I feel like I have not done a great job as President as it is, so should I really do this again?
7. This could be a fresh start!
8. When I decided not to run again two nights ago, I felt GREAT!
9. When I talked with a member about all my ideas for this year if I hadn't decided not to run again, I got real excited about the potential for this upcoming year.
10. If I don't run for President this year, I'm not sure if I would get the chance again to start with a smaller chapter.
11. I love the idea of MOMS Club, that moms support each other.
12. I would love to do more with that idea and figure out more ways for everyone to feel that support.
13. I thought I had decided, but now I'm going back and forth.

What should I do?!!!

A weekend to myself

If only.
I got the writing prompt from Crazy Hip Blog Mamas so I thought I'd try it. But really, the idea is almost beyond my comprehension. Yes, I have gone on two scrapbooking weekends since my children were born, and they were incredible. They were weekends to myself, and I loved doing them, but ultimately, they are not my dream weekends. If I had a weekend completely to myself, I would sleep. Seriously. I would stay in bed all weekend with a pile of romantic suspense books (my favorites) and I would sleep and read, sleep and read. Okay, so maybe that would last for one whole day, but I doubt I could stretch it out for two. Maybe if I did that at some beach resort/spa. Yeah.... okay so I could sleep as late as I wanted and then go do some funky spa treatment, like a Swedish massage and then a seaweed body wrap. I've done massages before, but a body wrap just sounds ...decadent. Then I could enjoy a meal prepared by someone else and cleaned up by someone else. A nap, some reading time, and then some other fancy spa treatment.

Bottom line: sleep, reading, and pampering. Yeah...that sounds like a fabulous weekend. I love my husband, and it would be nice to have him there for some of the weekend (I'm sure you can guess which parts) but it would also be nice to know that he was home with the kids so I wouldn't have to worry. Aaaahhhh...dreaming about it is nice, but I can't imagine it happening anytime soon. I'd settle for just a day to myself to sleep and read in bed!

Overwhelmed

I get like this every few weeks. I'm just overwhelmed. There's so much that I see that needs to get done as I walk through the house, and so much paperwork stuff that is virtually unseen because it's all piled up, but that's even more important. DH is on spring break this week, and will be taking over at 12. I have until 4 to do as much as I can. Top on the list is getting the kitchen ready for Passover (a huge job). HOPEFULLY I will still have time left over after that to tackle some paperwork. Need to end this because I have some MOMS Club stuff to get done right now before I get the kids out the door to head to a playdate I'm hosting.

I've Been Tagged!

Well, four of the kids are playing nicely with playdough, DN-J is napping, the wash is running, and the doctor isn't in until 9:30 for me to call and make an appointment, so I thought I'd respond to the tag I received by Karin.

Four Jobs I've Held *
Elementary Teacher (2nd grade and 5th grade gifted)
Camp Counselor
Hostess at retirement community
Cantorial Soloist
* It's kind of funny - I've actually held so many different jobs, many simultaneously, it's tought to select just four to post here!

Four Movies I Could Watch Over and Over Again
Hope Floats
Legend of Billie Jean
Chorus Line
Yentl

Four Websites I Visit Often:
My bank
Flylady
The Yahoo message board for our local Flylady group
All my favorite blogs

Four Favorite Foods:
Raisin Bran Crunch Cereal
Granola
Raisin Bread
Golden Grahams Cereal
Oh, yeah, I'm a carbs girl!

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
In my bed
Under the covers
A sunny, near-deserted beach
Alone, outside under a tree

Four Books I Could Read Over and Over Again:
Fix It and Forget It Cookbooks
Sink Reflections
It by Stephen King
Any of my preschool books that I use to get ideas to do with the kids
I don't usually read books over again. I LOVE books, but once I read them I pass them on.

Four Songs I Could Listen to Over and Over Again:
Jesus Take the Wheel (Yes, even this Jewish girl can relate to this song.)
Seasons of Love (Rent)
Someone Else's Story (Chess)
Take Me or Leave Me (Rent)
Basically any female "belt" song in a musical

Four Reasons I Blog
To connect with other moms
To remember this time in my life
To force myself to journal daily
To show other moms that while it might appear like I have it all together, I really don't!

So, who do I tag now? The purpose is to get to know each other better. Let's try messygoat, Life in the Hundred Acre Woods, and Dream Kitchen. C'mon ladies, will you play?

Head pain

My. Head. Hurts.
It hurts so much. I have gotten headaches a lot in the past, sometimes really, really, really bad. But I don't remember one hurting as much as it did last night. I actually cried unintentionally, tears running down my cheeks, as I tried to breathe through the pain and relax my body. It got better, but it scared DH enough to try to get me to go the ER. Sorry, but what would I say? "Uh...yeah, um...my head really hurt bad about um, an hour ago, but now it's not so bad. Yeah, why did we come in?" It hurts some now, not extreme like last night, but not good at all. I promised DH I'd get a doctor's appointment for tomorrow. Hopefully it's as simple as an ear infection or something like that. Let's see. But for now, ouch!

You Say It's Your Birthday

Na na na na na na na
It's my birthday too - oo
Na na na na na na na

Happy birthday to me!!!

I love my birthday. In my mind, I can do anything I want and blame it on the birthday. I "slept in" today until the kids woke up. J got up first so she came into bed with me. It was great - she hardly ever wants hugs and cuddles, but laid next to me, under the covers, head on the pillow. Every time I opened my eyes, hers were open too, but she was quiet and just laid there. What a nice present from her.

I had to give the kids a bath this morning before breakfast because they were waaaay overdue (plus J had rubbed lotion in her hair yesterday). That ate up some of our morning! After they got off to school I had some time to clean up downstairs some. Then my mom came over to bring me a bagel for breakfast (she had to celebrate with me on her "birthing day") and the girl I watch on Friday mornings was dropped off.

I'm taking the kids to McDonald's for lunch - not my top place for lunch, but not bad. I have to work tonight leading the preschool Shabbat service. I'm supposed to be there for the potluck dinner first, so no celebrating tonight, but the family is getting together tomorrow night for that.

I'm going to try to get a lot of laundry done today - somehow almost all my underwear has gone missing, so maybe if I just wash everything it will show up.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Projects I want to tackle before the end of the summer:

1. Paint the living room a bright greenish blue
2. Paint the stairwell and upstairs hallway a rusty kind of yellow
3. Get a contractor of sorts to widen the archway between the living room and dining room and another to pull up the carpeting in those rooms and finish the hardwood flooring underneath
4. Install shelving in the stupid entranceway closet, the one that is two small to actually hang a hanger in it
5. Install hooks in that closet so children can hang up their coats instead of throwing them in the overflowing basket next to the couch
6. Fix said closet door so kids will be able to open and close it on there own
7. Install one additional shelf above small extra freezer in pantry to better use the space
8. Reorganize pantry to make use of the extra shelf
9. Clean out closet/cabinets in boys' room and J's room
10. Do a "clean sweep" of the shelves above our washer and dryer
11. Clear out old changing area in playroom to hold my scrapbooking stuff
12. Sell dining room set (anyone looking for one) and replace with table and book case we saw at Ikea
13. Paint one wall in playroom with magnetic paint and hang wire to allow kids to hang paintings to dry and other pictures to be displyed.

If you do a TT too, leave a comment so I can link to your blog. If you don't do a TT, leave a comment to let me know what is the #1 project you hope to get done in the next six months. C'mon, you lurkers, I know who you are, leave a comment!!! :)

The Question Queen

"What are you doing, A-B-Mommy?" J asked as she joined us in the playroom after lunch. Yes, our names apparently are all one name in her mind.

"I'm trying to write down our conversation from this morning before I forget it," I answered as I unlocked the computer armoire.

"Tell everyone about how we went to the library for the Spanish storytime and it was all filled up and we couldn't stay and it was such a shame so we went to the library with the sliding doors and listened to stories about mice and made a mouse and the tail came off so I'm just pretending it has a tail," B dictated all in one breath. After reading my run-on sentences, is anyone surprised that my son apparently doesn't really know what a period is?

As we drove from one library to the next this morning, I missed the turn. When I finally realized it, I laughed and told the kids that I messed up and I had to turn around. J, my question queen, began the interregation:

"Why you mess up, Mommy?"
"I wasn't paying attention."
"Why?"
"I don't know, I just wasn't."
"Why we turn around, Mommy?"
"We have to turn around to get to the library."
"Why?"
"Because that's how we get to the library."
"Oh. Why you no pay 'tention?"
"I don't know."
"Why?"
"I just don't know, J!"
"Mommy, no screaming.
"Mommy, why you laughing?"
"I just am, J, I just am."

A Gift to Me - Today

That title makes total sense, but does come off a little cheesy, so let me explain. Today is DN-A's third birthday. Happy birthday, DN-A! My sister and brother-in-law took the day off to have a special day with him (and DN-J). They're taking them to the Please Touch Museum. And what that means for us is that we have the whole day just the four of us, no preschool, no one coming over, just us! I had set the alarm, but then turned it off this morning, realizing that I could just wait until the kids woke up. After they called me from their rooms ("Mommy, come out of your room! Mommy, open the door!") I said hi and then took a shower and got dressed. Then I read them a book (no reason to rush) and then got them dressed. I brought them downstairs for breakfast later than usual (again, no rush - very nice and rare) and they're now watching tv while I just read all my blogs and am now updating mine. Aaaahhhh...

We're planning to head on over to a storytime that I've heard about where the librarian does stuff in Spanish. The boys will LOVE that! I'm a little nervous about getting in because they have posted on their website that the storytime is only for the first twenty-five kids and their parents. I've never seen another storytime that needed to post that, so I'm not sure how early to get there! It starts at 10:30, and should take us 15 minutes to get there - I think I might start getting the kids ready as soon as I get off the computer (around 9:30). Worse comes to worse, we'll browse the library. I already told the boys about it so I don't want to chance getting turned away.

We will be going to DN-A's for dinner tonight, so I don't have to worry about getting that together. Woohoo - one less thing to do. And I made lunches yesterday, so meals are done for the day. Aaahhh. That's about the only thing that is, but it's important to savor the good things.

I ended up staying up way too late last night. Don't really know why. Could it be the energy I got from doing the aerobics class yesterday morning was enough to keep me wired well into the night? Naahhh - didn't think so.

A J Funny

We have two yellow kid chairs, a really cool party favor from a birthday party a year ago. One of them has lost the bottom part of one of its legs. I didn't think too much of that until just now, when J climbed on it to sit next to me. She asked, "Who's rocking me?" over and over again until I really started to pay attention to what she was saying. "Who's rocking you?" I asked her, just to make sure I hear her correctly. At that, she started to cry a little, terrified at the unseen hand that was making her rock on her chair.

I know, it doesn't take much to amuse me, and clearly I'm an awful mom laughing at the expense of my children. :)

I did it!

Okay, I might have used that as a title before, but that's what's running through my mind. Not only did I figure out how to get DN-J down for a nap at the same time as J and DN-A (just keep them awake until she shows signs of getting fussy), I made it all the way through my first step arobics class today even though I ended up having to be in the very front row. I laughed through a good quarter of it because I was so incredibly bad at it and was probably throwing off the rest of the people around me, but I kept on going. J and DN-J did fine in the babysitting room, though DN-J was fussy. The only problem was how much time the whole working out thing took.

I dropped the boys off at school at 9 or so, leaving the parking lot around 9:15 (it takes a while to get all three boys' coats off, hung up, signed in, etc.). I got to the gym and had to officially buy my membership. I know that it won't take as long next time, but that ate up five-ten minutes. Then I had to bring both girls to the babysitting room and get them settled in. I arrived at the 9:30 class only to have to wait five more minutes for the instructor to show up, even though apparently you have to get there "early" to get the prime back row spot. I'm guessing I better get used to making a fool of myself in the front! We do the hour workout (whew!!!) and then I return to the babysitting room to pick up the girls. By the time I got them both in their coats and into the car, it was already 10:50! Luckily DN-J fell asleep on the way to the car, so I was able to grab a shower once I got J settled with a snack. I was drenched, so everyone who saw me today was glad I got that shower! Once I was dried off and dressed, hair wet but brushed, I had enough time to fold and put away a load of towels and then wake the baby up to give her most of her bottle before we had to pick up the boys at 12. I'm glad I am making the time to workout and I feel really good about that, but I'm giving up my time to get things done around the house by doing it. Hmmmm....maybe it'll start going faster once it gets warmer - we'll be able to leave the gym in less time.

I gues the other thing to think about is I have to make better use of my afternoons. Today I read with the boys for half an hour before they had "quiet time" (watching tv while they lay on the couch). After they got settled, DN-J woke up, so I worked to get her to go back to sleep. That took three trips up and down the stairs. Then J woke up, and I had to work to convince her that nap time was not over yet. I sat down to read for ten minutes or so and then J started screaming that she had to pee. Far be it for me to discourage one of my children from peeing in the potty, I brought her to the bathroom knowing full well that her nap time was over. J needs to lay on the couch with me for about ten-fifteen minutes until she transitions into fully awake time. After she was up and moving, I came here to update my blog. And now it's almost four in the afternoon!

So far, besides taking care and feeding the children and myself, I have gotten dinner in the crockpot and one load of laundry that was already in the dryer folded and put away. That's it. I have a bunch of computer things that I want to get done, but A is breathing down my neck to get his turn on the computer, so I think I'll work on the non-computer things: today's laundry in the washer, clear off the kitchen counters and dining room table, finish the side dishes for dinner tonight - I'm sure that's all that I'll be able to squeeze in while the kids are still awake. I did not get a lot of paperwork done yesterday, so that's my main goal for tonight, besides getting prepped for tomorrow. Usually all I'm able to accomplish each night is to clean up from that day and prepare for tomorrow (and it's a really good night when I get that done). If I can manage to get any more done, I'll be thrilled, but I really need to push myself to get through my constant mountain of paperwork.

I would love to get to the point with both housework and paperwork where I'm just working on maintenance, just dealing with what happens each day. But, I'm definitely not there yet! Is anyone? Really, are you? Or is the housework and paperwork involved with running a household overwhelming to anyone else? And if not, why??? What do you do?!!

The race

Baby J fell asleep at 11:30, so I gave the kids an early lunch and just got J and DN-A down for a nap. I'm letting the boys keep playing in here (the computer is in the playroom) and will have them lay down for "quiet time" when they start messing around and stop playing nicely. Not bad. Though I just heard someone fussing up there - better not be DN-J!

I ended up with nothing planned this morning. That's always dangerous! We did okay, though, but not the kind of day I would brag about. I did get the kids outside this morning for some fresh air, and we sang some songs together, so at least we did that. Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to bring DN-J and J to the gym once I drop the boys off at school. We'll see how badly that messes her schedule up.

I have a ton of paperwork that I have to get to, so I think I'm going to try to focus on that right now for as long as I can. The boys are playing a game I just taught them, so hopefully will be occupied for a little. The lunch dishes are cleaned up and I already made lunches for tomorrow, I just need to put the wash into the dryer and then I'm good to go, as long as DN-J stays asleep. We'll see how long that lasts!

Blech.

Ugh.
I have a cold.
That in itself is not so great. But I gave in and took a nighttime cold medicine last night. So dumb. They always leave me drugged the next day. I knew that, but convinced myself that it wouldn't happen this time. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I slept well last night, but even my tongue feels heavy this morning. Blech!
Okay, let me finish getting the kids dressed. I came down to get their shoes. We're running very late.

Aren't I the tech geek?!!

I just fooled around in the template some and not only figured out how to add some of the blogs that I read, I also figured out how to change the look of the different rings I belong to. It doesn't look great, but it's a lot better! And I figured it out by myself through trial and error.

I was going to go over a friend's house who has a new baby to help her out today, but I now have a full-fledged cold, so she doesn't want me there (I don't blame her). That leaves me with an almost two hours here without kids - what to do?!!!

Okay:
Laundry
10 minutes per room
Dust
Vacuum

If time, I'm going to try to work on sorting the kids' clothing! I'm tired, my eyes burn, my ears itch, and I can't stop coughing, but DH asked me today, when I was still planning on going to my friend's, "Uh . . . when will you be back here to maybe get some stuff done at home?" Can't disappoint. He wanted so badly to clean so much around the house today, but he was in charge of the kids all day yesterday and most of the morning today while I was at work. He was stressing himself out about it, though he did get a lot done. I would love to finish cleaning the house (for the day) by the time he gets here to pick me up. Here goes.

A

Happy 100th post to me!

Anyway.

I actually said the word aloud to a child psychologist the other night, a friend that used to work with my brother when he was younger. I described all of A's symptoms and actually said that I suspected Asperger's. She agreed that it sounded possible. It's one thing to suspect it, it's another to hear confirmation from an expert that it's possible, even likely. I'm fine with whatever diagnosis gets made, I just really want to get one so we can start working ont he problem. I'll call the IU in the morning to confirm they received all the paperwork and find out exactly what the next step is. I'm thrilled that we're moving forward with this. If something is going on with him, I want an IEP in place before he starts Kindergarten. It would be fabulous if he could be getting therapy while in Pre-K. But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. Just need to get the evals started!

That's It!

They've driven me over the edge.
I'm leaving. I'm running away. Seriously, DH can watch them - they want Daddy all day anyway, the kids will be thrilled. I don't know where I'm going yet, and I'm not sure when/if I'm coming back, but if I don't go now I'm not sure what I'll do.
Not sure when I'll update next - just have to go.





















APRIL FOOLS!!!!
Did I fool you with that? Maybe, just a little? I suck with April Fools' jokes, but thought I'd try anyway.

Finally Friday

I really like my Friday mornings. The boys are at school and J and the little girl that I'm babysitting get along really well. I figured I'll be interrupted just as many times with two two-year-olds as I would with one, and this way I'm making a little extra cash! So it's actually working out!

But I'm tired now. We went to the Temple early because there was supposed to be a Passover concert for the boys that I figured I would take J and her friend to, but they had to push the concert earlier so we came in for the last five minutes. One of the kids in my boys' class was having a rough day behaviorally, so I told their teacher that I would go back to the room with the class and her assistant for the rest of the morning - I was there anyway, why not? So even though we missed the concert, it worked out really nicely that I could be there.

On our way home from school, A announced that he wanted B to go to school on the next school day and he would stay home. B quickly turned to him and said that he couldn't do that because then he "would be alone" (lonely) without his best friend. It was so sweet. Don't know what prompted A to say that, but how sweet was that response!

We had an evening playdate at a friend's house Wednesday. The plan had been that after letting the kids play for awhile, we would get some pizza and let them watch it in front of a Wiggles video. After watching long enough to eat almost a whole slice, A put his hands over his ears and came to me near tears because the ball going "boing" scared him. I finally discovered that between each song there was a graphic of a ball bringing on the next title and it went boing. This was scaring him so much that he became hysterical, couldn't even stay on the steps, had to go upstairs (we were in the basement) out of earshot. Eventually I requested that we put on something else and we agreed on a new Dora DVD. A thought it was a great idea as well, but then decided he was now terrified of Dora so again, he couldn't go downstairs. I thought that this might be a cry for attention, but his hands stayed over his ears (he does this when he's scared) and his body was rigid at the idea of going downstairs. I would have gone home if it were just him, but B and J were still eating and were having a great time. I set A up with some toys upstairs and spent most of the rest of the hour going up and down the stairs to check on all of them.

I'll be very happy once they start evaluating him. Not that I want something to be wrong, but I hope we get a diagnosis of something or are given some direction to go in, some strategies to try. PLEASE!

I've Been INFECTED - woohoo!

Boy, I've been posting a LOT today!

Thanks to Karin, I have now been infected with "The Indie Virus." This is a casual social experiment, and it two goals:
* To bring exposure to lesser known blogs (especially those outside of Technorati's top 100)
* To explore the metrics behind a viral linking campaign launched by the "little guys" (less popular blogs)
This sounds like a great idea to get some of the fabulous, less read blogs read.

So some of my favorite smaller blogs that I'm just itching to infect are:

Life in the Hundred-Acre Wood - I've known Anjali since the boys were first born. She was a member in the first MOMS Club that I belonged to. She is the first blog I ever read!

Nancy's blog - Nancy is a member of my local FLYlady support group. She is a published author and a great writer. She ALWAYS wants more traffic to her blog, so maybe this will help.

Barefoot in the Garden - Heather is another friend from my FLYlady message board. She just started her blog the other day, so here's hoping this will give it a jump start. * When I first wrote this I wrote her blog's name as "Barefoot in the Park" - in case there is any question that I'm a true theater geek.

So there you go. Go forth and infect!

Thursday Thirteen

I tried this for the first time last week and got it all messed up, so now I'm just writing my Thursday Thirteen in a regular post just because I'm not as cool as those other bloggers who know how to do cool blogging things!

Anyway.

Thirteen Things I Wouldn't Like to Live Without

Please note I said things and not people!

1. E-mail
2. FLYlady.net
3. Cordless phone
4. My glasses (They're only reading glasses, but I read all the time!)
5. My sneakers (Now that I've started FLYlady, I really don't feel dressed without them.)
6. TV - I love my dramas, unfortunately they're normally on at 10 o'clock.
7. My Shark (not that I like housework, but this cordless vacuum makes such a difference after meals)
8. VCR - makes life so much easier to know that if I desparately need a break, I can pop in a video for the kids
9. My local FLYlady message board - these ladies are the most supportive amazing friends I could imagine
10. My locking computer armoire - has saved my life to be able to keep A completely away from the computer
11. My crockpot
12. My scrapbooks and supplies
13. My BLOG

Please let me know if you do a Thursday Thirteen as well and I'll leave a link to yours, now that I know how to do that!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens:

• Owlhaven
• The Chaotic Home
• Movin'Mom
• Jamie's Randomness
• Pink Chihuahua Princess (love the name)
• Ecclesiastes 12:12 - of making many books

And the race is on

This is the tough part - trying to coordinate five schedules. The four kids are eating their lunch. After playing the "stick game" (yes, I will do whatever it takes to get my back yard cleaned up for spring, even utilizing child labor) they were all hungry. Baby J was out in the back yard on this beautiful sunny day with us. She ate her bottle and then chilled out on top of the picnic table in her infant carrier while we did yard work. When we came in, Baby J didn't last too much longer. I put her down for a nap ten minutes ago. Now I need these kids to finish their @#$% lunches so I can get DN-A and J down for a nap and B and A laying on the couch so I can get a little bit of work done. C'mon guys: EAT!

Surviving Five Kids

The kids are dressed to their shoes, teeth brushed, faces washed, noses blown repeatedly (two of the three are running like a faucet, the third having minor nose bleeds needing to be wiped away), J has been captured from escaping upstairs and is now "sleeping" on the couch (one of her favorite games - boy, does she take after me or what?!!), the three boys are watching PBS, and Baby J is in her car seat next to me, content to be smiled at every few seconds. So far so good.

I was asleep by 10 last night, defintely better than I had been doing, but considering how wiped I was by 7:30 (when I got the kids in bed) I should have gone to bed much earlier. I have to learn to listen to my body! At least everyone slept through the night finally, so I was able to actually sleep through until DH got up at 5:15 (!) and started getting ready for the day. We got downstairs by 7:20, which isn't bad, but we didn't straighten up the boys' room before we went down, so that's not so good. But after I finish checking in here, I will finish cleaning up from breakfast. I've decided that when DN-J is here, I have permission to not get anything else accomplished except my basic routines. Now if I happen to be able to accomplish more, I will be quite impressed with myself.

Apparently Karin (hee hee, I'm using my new trick now!) "infected" me with some virus. I need to read it some more to figure out what I need to do. It sounds really neat - a way to get us non-A-list blogs read more. I'm all for that, so thank you!

I've just enlisted both DN-A and J to try to make Baby J smile. I don't know if I'll regret this. I swear, any time I hold this baby, I spend most of my time protecting her from the other four. They all want to love her to death!

Looks like DN-J is ready for her first nap of the day. Either that or she's a little overwhelmed from DN-A rocking her, B making faces, and J poking her. Either way, time to save her.

Did I do it?

Just testing!

Flylady

A Mish mash of stuff - like my life

I had time to check my favorite blogs this morning, leave an entry at The Chaotic Home (please, someone, explain to me how to make that the cool blue color that links you to the actual blog!) to hopefully win the What's for Dinner? contest she has going on, check my e-mail, I even checked my Statcounter to see how many people had stopped by today. I was quite disappointed to see that it was a much smaller number than usual. Couldn't figure that one out and then I realized that gee, maybe I might want to actually write a blog entry today, maybe that would at least give people something to READ for today when they stop by. So, Internet, here's my entry for today:

I bit the bullet and joined a gym today. I figured out that I could go on Monday and Wednesday mornings after I drop the boys off at school. They have babysitting there, nothing fabulous, but the girl seems really nice. I could do a 9:30 class any day of the week, which works out nice. I could also do a thirty minute workout like I used to do at Curves and really enjoyed (only stopped because they did NOT have babysitting). I might even get really bold and don my bathing suit and swim some laps! I really like swimming, but usually don't go because I'm self conscious of both my body and it's challenging for me to, ummm...maintain my bikini line. But apparently most of the people who use the pool at that time of day are senior citizens, and, not to be rude, but I do look better than all of them! So I might just do it. I think I'll get up early Saturday morning and go swim.

I'm going to a MOMS Club luncheon that's about two hours away on Saturday. I had thought that I'd be able to carpool with someone from my chapter, but everyone has made other arrangements, whether it's going up the night before, staying Saturday night with family, or visiting friends after the luncheon. I do NOT want to drive the whole two hours there and two hours back by myself. It's not that I'm scared or anything, I just get so tired driving long distances I'm kind of nervous about falling asleep. That would really not be good. So I stepped out of my comfort zone and called up the president of the old MOMS Club that I used to belong to. She has caller id so knew who I was right away, which definitely made it easier, and she knew as soon as I said that I had a weird favor to ask her what I wanted. She offered a ride in her van with four other moms - sweet. A much better option than driving alone. Soooo glad I asked.

I also stepped out of my comfort zone again today to ask two different preschool moms if they'd like to come over for a playdate tomorrow. One is able to, one already had plans, but they both seemed so pleased to be asked it definitely makes it easier to try to do it again. This is something that is so tough for me to do, but, as the kids love telling me for various things these days, "It's no big deal!"

Yesterday was pretty tough with DN-J, but I did get her to take a decent afternoon nap, so that helped. Hopefully tomorrow goes better!

Rough morning

Whew! That was a whirlwind morning! I'm totally beat and MUST get to bed on time tonight. Oh boy. Was having a tough time getting/keeping DN-J on a schedule today - don't know why. Ultimately I have all three of the youngest kids napping and A and B are having their "quiet time" right now, so that's impressive. I think I need to lay down on the couch with the and shut my eyes for a little too. It just felt like every time I tried feeding the baby, one of the other kids would REALLY act up. And then DN-J would only take shorter naps this morning (shorter for her) which just got confusing.

Oh well, afternoon is upon us, and since they all only went down 20 minutes ago, maybe I have at least 30 minutes to shut my eyes for a little on the couch with one of the boys. Better do it fast!

President R

Okay, the baby is sleeping, the boys are still watching their morning video, and J is busy pushing her new doll stroller around with a video tape case sitting in it (don't ask me why). Just caught up on all my favorite blogs (which I know I need to get around to adding to my sidebar blogroll thingy, but not now) and now have a chance to update mine. I'm hosting a playdate today for the MOMS Club - I called it a "Teddy Bear Playdate" to pique interest, with the idea that each kid would bring a teddy bear and we would do teddy bear activities. Well, no one RSVPed until yesterday, so I didn't really think it was going to happen, so I didn't really plan anything. Two people are coming now, so I need to come up with SOMETHING! Hmmmm.... I guess just having the bears with us and maybe doing "Teddy Bear Teddy Bear" together, maybe making teddy bear faces out of round crackers and raisins, maybe that will be enough. Hope so!

I've been going back and forth with whether to run for presidency of the MOMS Club again or just be a regular member this coming year. On the one hand, I'm really tired and would love to just be a member. On the other hand, the club is sistering, with almost half the members becoming their own chapter based on location because we got so large. This will be a unique opportunity to make changes and reach out to each member. It will be really exciting and I'd hate to miss the chance and look back later and kick myself for giving up so soon. This past year as president has been fine, but was really affected by one very negative board member (who actually is no longer even a member of the club anymore) who decided that I was completely against her and just made every Board meeting extremely tense. I even tried talking with her about it once, asking her if everything was okay between us because I feel this tension and don't know where it came from, telling her that if I had done something to offend her that I appologize. She accepted the apology and then proceeded to point out that we don't all have to be friends (which I had said before) and began to list all the different reasons why she doesn't really like me. AAARRGH!! After that, she resigned from the Board, and soon after, from the club. Very frustrating, especially because I don't know what I could have done differently. I like to learn something from every situation, and I don't know what I'm coming away from that whole mess with. I do know and understand that this was mostly and her thing, that she is an extremely depressed negative person, but since so much of her anger/negativity got directed at me, it was kind of hard not to feel responsible. In any case, my point is that if I was president again, I wouldn't have to deal with that so it would be a lot better.

The kids' video just ended so I should go. Still don't know what I'll do about MOMS Club, but it was nice to write that all down. I think I'm leaning towards running again, but I'm still not positive.

Let's Get Real Monday

Okay, inspired by Randi's blog (if I knew how, I would link it here, but I can't figure out how to do that!), today is all about high school. It's kind of deep, so brace yourself!

Anyone who knows me only as a mom will be amazed to know that I used to be extremely shy. Painfully shy. Not on stage, where I could sing anything or become any character. But if I had to be myself, I couldn't quite figure out how not to be self-concious. I was painfully aware of every movement, every word, every stupid thing I did. And I was most aware of how I looked.

In Junior High I remember very clearly being teased about my looks. One boy in particular (Joe Leone I think was his name) used to call me "Big Eyes." I very clearly remember coming to the realization that I cannot control my looks or the size of my eyes, but I can control how much I weigh. And so began my five year battle with anorexia. No, I was never hospitalized, and my parents never really even noticed too much (my brother took a lot of their attention in those days), but it soon took up much of my thoughts and much of my time. Seventh grade was tough for me - new school, new people, all very very hard. Controlling my food intake helped me feel better, like I could control something even when everything around me felt like it was spinning out of control. By eighth grade I felt more confident - I was a soloist in the choir, the lead in the school play, even had my own advice column in the newspaper, the Hollow Log. But I limited what I ate to such an extent in an effort to keep my weight around 100. My breakfast was an apple, my lunch a piece of cheese and some brocolli, dinner would be as little as I could get away with.

By the time high school rolled around, things spun out of control again - new school, new people, just like Junior High but now times four. Finding my way was so hard - I think I tried to shrink down, become invisible by losing even more weight. I did become a soloist in the choir and got the lead in the school play, but felt so out of my league any time I stepped off stage. By sophmore year I developed mono (my immune system so compromised by my diet) and lost even more weight. I was out of school for almost half the year, and was devastated that none of my "friends" had called or come to see me. When I came back to school my junior year I actually started dating and while my main high school boyfriend ended up being a pathalogical liar (could I pick them then?!!) he did help me deal with emotions I never could express, thus dealing with the eating disorder that had been my main coping mechanism growing up. No longer could I count my ribs each time I got out of the shower to feel right with myself, or make sure that my stomach was still concave if I laid down before I could feel okay to go out. I didn't use food the same way again.

That's not to say I became socially confident. That didn't happen until I got pregnant with my boys, a long time later. I gave the appearance of someone who was friendly and fearless, but mostly that was a mask covering the discomfort I felt around other people. I never knew what to say, always wanted to look like I knew what was going on.

High school was tough. College too. Looking back, I think they were way harder in my mind than they needed to be. But I know that I couldn't handle the casual friendships, the weekend parties at that time in my life. So I didn't. I never made those lifelong friends like most people made at that point in their lives. I have two - a friend from first grade (my gentile sister) and my husband. And as much as I wish it could have been different, my shyness and social anxiety made it virtually impossible for things to have been any other way.

I am so grateful for the fact that I don't feel that way anymore. It makes me want to somehow go back to that high school me and shake her, just tell her to get over herself, that no one cared how "fat" you were, that people were mainly interested in their own world so step out of your self-centered one for a little bit and become more aware of everyone else's . But that can't be. So I guess I'll just continue focusing on the here and now and be grateful those years are behind me.

Lazy, lazy, lazy

Today was my morning. DH got up with the kids and I could do whatever I wanted/needed until noon. Aaaaahhh. I had planned to sleep in a little, finish sorting all the kids clothes and packing up the outgrown stuff to go to my sister, clean our room, maybe even go jeans shopping (ugh). What I ended up doing was number one. Yes, that's it. And I'm okay with that. I slept for awhile (between A being sick with a cough and J getting up once for some unknown reason, we were up a lot last night) and then laid in bed reading a book I "borrowed" from my mom's lending library last night. Then I got some breakfast, brought it upstairs, and read some more. Then I napped. And woke up and read. And napped some more. When I finally had about fifteen minutes left, I jumped up, took a quick shower and got dressed. I accomplished nothing. How wasteful. How lazy. How wonderful.

March of Dimes

I just signed up to participate in WalkAmerica to raise money for the March of Dimes. This is an organization that helps prevent premature babies, a cause very near to my heart. A and B were born six weeks early, and they very easily could have come 14 weeks early since that's when my preterm labor started. I was given various medications to slow labor, put on bedrest, and also given two steroid injections to help the boys' lungs develop more. The boys had to spend 10 days (A) and 17 days (B) in the NICU, and it was a terrifying ordeal from start to finish. Now they are healthy happy four year olds.

It's about friggin' time!

Just finished all of the paperwork necessary to have A evaluated at the IU. I'm going to bring it with me to the Temple when I pick up the boys and make copies of everything (just in case it gets lost in the mail) and then send it off in the mail. What a relief! Cannot wait for the testing to start. I would LOVE to have a professional's opinion of his various behaviors and get some suggestions on the best way to deal with them!

Am I Crazy?

My DH and sister think I am.
I watch J's kids four days a week, Monday through Friday. The boys are in school Friday mornings. I just agreed to watch one of the kids that comes to my Friday Shabbat program (that starts at 12:15) on Friday mornings. The mom will bring her here (I'm expecting her any minute), the girls will play together, and then I'll bring both girls to my Friday program where the mom will meet us. I'll get an extra $20-$30 for DH and I to go out and I don't think it's going to be a strain at all - what's the big deal. I'm envisioning having both girls play in the boys' room while I clean my room for 15 minutes (the current FLYlady zone) and then in J's room while I finish sorting her clothing. I think it will be fine.
I'll let you know.

I will survive . . .

Yesterday afternoon was a little tougher, but we muddled through.
While I was giving DN-J her bottle, J woke up from her nap in a Mood. Yes, some moods need to be capitalized - this was one of them. She often wakes up and needs to cuddle on the couch with me, usually laying on top of me, watching tv. This time, I had Baby J in my arm and the other arm was holding the bottle. We tried various configurations, but nothing made J happy. However, even through her tears and screams, when she noticed that DN-J had spit up (man, can that girl spit up!), she stopped crying long enough to reach over for her burp cloth, wipe her mouth, drop it, and then resume crying. How did I wind up with such a dramatic child? Yes, that is a purely rhetorical question.

Today DS was planning to work from home for the morning since she had a meeting at 10:30. Since her computer is in the shop, she came here to work. So nice to have another adult there to hear things like, "I'm sorry, B, old buddy." Hillarious to hear uttered from an almost three year old!

Some of my friends have declared Wednesdays as "What's for Dinner Wednesdays?" so I thought I would jump on that bandwagon. I'm not cool enough to know how to put up a great graphic like some of the blogs I saw, but know that I'm picturing it in my mind. I'm hoping to collect some new recipes this way.

We're having Vegetable Chili tonight, which I plan on mixing with "spinny noodles" for the kids to hopefully ensure them trying it (I'll let you know later if that works). To make it you throw this in the crock pot:
2 cans diced tomotoes with green chilis (undrained)
1 can pinto beans (drained and rinsed)
1 can broth (I had chicken on hand, recipe calls for vegetable)
1 cup of salsa
1 chopped onion
1 chopped pepper (red and green, if you have them)
Some cumin and some chili powder.
Turn the crockpot on low and let it sit for 6-8 hours.

What are YOU having tonight? PLEASE delurk and let me know. Post it in the comments section, no fair e-mailing it to me directly.

And baby makes five

Baby Jo joined us today. For the first few weeks she will be with us for two days a week, then for three days a week, and then in May will join us for four days a week. Of course, these are ten hour days. In any case, so far so good. We even made it out to a playdate at a friend's house today. I managed to work it so the three youngest ones are upstairs napping right now and A and B are having "quiet time" on the couch. Not bad. Plus I have dinner in the crockpot, a load of laundry in the dryer, breakfasts and lunches made for tomorrow, and the table and counters wiped off. I'm feeling almost cocky - I'm sure now that I said all this, the afternoon is going to be long and painful. Seriously though, I am exhausted, so I'm really glad for this opportunity to sit right now. I might even need to pull out the caffinated tea bags for a little jolt soon. Hopefully I will get to bed on time as I kind of did last night (was in bed on time but started reading a new book, so . . . ) but actually go to sleep by 10.

Last night I got a little caught up watching Super Nanny at 9. Did you see it? The family had SEVEN kids, and the dad was being shipped to Iraq in a few weeks for at least a year. These kids cursed and called each other names like you would not believe, but after watching the mom curse at them later ("Open the @#$% door!") I could understand why even the little ones were cursing. One of the strategies that Jo consistently implements in every household is a posted schedule. It really got me thinking about how that could help us, especially with the baby here. If nothing else, I MUST get up at 6 to shower and dress, and start getting the kids dressed when they wake up (usually around 6:30). That way that would be downstairs and done breakfast by the time DN-A and DN-J arrive at 7:30. That makes a HUGE difference. We did it today, now I have to work on getting to bed on time so I can get up on time so it continues. Oh, what a tough cycle.

On a completely different topic, my boys are huge milk drinkers. We actually had to limit their milk intake when they were younger (and still do) to 16 oz (two sippy cups worth). I didn't really understand when my sister said that DN-A doesn't seem to like milk. J drinks a lot too, but recently has started protesting, requesting "juice" (water with a splash of apple juice on top). To ensure that my three get their two cups of milk in each day, we start with milk every morning. This morning J grabbed her morning cup of milk as usual. After two sucks from her sippy cup, J pulls away and looks at me accusingly as she shouted, "There's milk in my apple juice!"

Clean Sweep

I have great friends.
Karin worked hard to figure out what was up with my messed up blog, tried several things, and had to give up because she agreed with me and it made no sense. My FLYlady friends from my local Yahoo message board support group (does that describe us?) all did me a favor and checked it out, but everyone was telling me that it looked fine. Finally one called me up and together we changed the screen resolution and text size and TADA! Now it looks okay to me, too. My son, the reason I now lock the computer up so he can't get to it, even though he has figured out that any key he finds will allow him to pick the lock, actually changed the settings on my computer. He has also changed the color somewhat and I cannot figure out how to get it back. Do you know how hard it is to play Solitaire when you can't tell what's red and black?!!

In any case, it looks fine to me right now too. Of course, tomorrow it might look strange again, but we'll have to wait and see.

I have so many special projects that I want to do around the house, so many great ideas. But I'm having so much trouble just doing the basic routines that I feel I'm never getting to anything else. I surpised DH yesterday by hiring my niece to babysit and we hung out at a Borders. I spent some time looking at a book for the tv show Clean Sweep. We no longer get the channel TLC, but when we did it was my favorite show. It made me inspired again. Besides the basement and the attic, we don't really have rooms that are so overwhelming. But we do have more than we need in this house. Soooo...my ultimate goal is one room at a time, I want to Clean Sweep this house. I know I can't do it alone, and I know I'll have to hire a babysitter when we do it, but wow - wouldn't that be great?!! DH has spring break in April, maybe I'll get him to take the kids to the park and I could start with a closet or something. I'm so excited I want to start right now. But, no, I have an hour left until he picks me up to go to his parents (where he and the kids are right now) for dinner - I'm off to do a Weekly Home Blessing (clean or "bless" the house for those not up on FLYlady-speak).

SOOO Confused!!

When I look at my blog, it still looks messed up. I see on the sidebar the title (About Me - I think that's what it says) and my name and then the rest of the sidebar is underneath my last post at the bottom of the page. Is that what everyone else is seeing?

PLEASE delurk and tell me how it looks to you! It's driving me crazy.

Happy Birthday, J

Two years ago right about now I was being taken up to the maternity ward having delivered my little girl about four hours ago. What an experience! I had to have general anasthesia for my emergency c-section with the boys after being on all kinds of drugs to stop the preterm labor for the eight weeks on bedrest, so I don't remember too much about that (except what I've been told - and it wasn't pretty). With J I got to have the birth experience that I wanted: my family all around me, being aware and actively participating, the incredible sense of accomplishment that I was able to do what I had set out to do, and then, the huge surprise at the end - a girl!

We thought we were done after we had the boys. We thought after five years of infertility and two IVF cycles that it would be impossible for us to conceive on our own. We were wrong! And as amazed as I was when we found out we were pregnant, I am so glad I have this amazing little girl in our lives.

Happy birthday, baby J - you're not a baby anymore!

Stupid, Illogical Computers

I'm so pissed that I can't figure out how to fix my blog! I spent a couple hours last night trying to fix it and it was fixed - temporarily. I showed it to DH - he can verify that it looked right. And then the next time I clicked on it, the sidebar info was again all at the bottom. WTF?!! I cannot figure out why it's doing that. I even went so far as to have my friend Karin make a test blog using the same template (working correctly) for me and compared the codes - exactly the same minus one line. I added that line but it didn't fix completely. Then I copied the test blog's code and pasted it on my blog (erasing what I had before). That should have made it look like the test blog, right?!!! WRONG!!! It makes no sense! This is supposed to be so logical, but it's driving me crazy because it's NOT!!

Overactive bladders

My wonderful friend Karin has sent me a revised template to try to fix this messed up one, so after I post this I'm going to attempt to use it. Wish me luck!

We don't have to be anywhere until 10:30 - DN-A's going to be meeting us - so we had a slow morning. Translation - I let the kids play in the boys' room while I laid in bed watching the Today Show. We don't do that often, but it's so nice when we do. Of course now their room is trashed and I was too hungry once they were dressed to make them clean it up, so we'll just do that later. Really. We will.

We have a Purim story hour at our library this morning (sponsered by Jewish Federation). After lunch and naps/quiet time, Karin is coming over with two of her kids so we can make hamantaschen (I'll be cheating by using sugar cookie dough, but that doesn't really matter). Then we're off to another friend's house for a pizza playdate. A terrific afternoon/evening for a Thursday when DH has his grad class. I try to plan stuff for that day so the long day/night is not too tough. Of course, this week I messed up - when I told DH about our plans for today at dinner last night, he reminded me that he does NOT have class tonight due to the school's spring break. "But remember? I told you about that already." Ummm, no, I didn't remember. I would forget my own name if it wasn't written in a few places around here. Is it crossed off on the calendar? NOOO!!! Okay, it turns out it's not a big deal because he has a lot of work to do and will just stay late at work, but still . . .

Okay, I'm totally thrilled with having a little girl who is potty trained. It's fabulous. HOWEVER. She wants to pee on that toilet every two minutes - and I'm hardly exaggerating. We only have one bathroom and it's upstairs. Peeing on the little potty in the living room is not good enough. She wants to "go pee upstairs." If I let her go alone, she soon takes everything in the bathroom drawers out of the drawers and flushes the toilet with 400 yards of toilet paper in it at least ten times. So I need to stop everything and take her up. I'm trying to tell her to try to hold it in some, but even when she has just peed, she wipes herself, throws the paer in the bowl, flushes, and then says, "I have to pee!" And it starts all over again!!! I know, I know, I shouldn't complain, and I am happy that she knows what to do. And I know that once the novelty wears off she won't want to go so often. But how high will our water bill BE by then?!!

My Neverending List

You know those things they have where you press a button and you can locate your keys? I don't quite know how it works, but what a great invention! Perfect for people who lose their keys all the time, like I used to before I found a place by the door to put them when I come in. I need to invent something like that for my glasses. I swear, I waste so much time every day looking for them!

I had a fabulous list that I made up yesterday, and excellent intentions to get through the whole thing. I don't know how I manage to "forget" my children each time a make up a to do list. I never think to factor them in. Of the 18 things on my list, I got through three. Yes, you read correctly: THREE. Yes, that means I have 15 things still to do. I had forgotten that I had promised DH to give him a haircut when he got home from work yesterday. I couldn't find my good scissors, so first I was trying to cut his hair with large clunky scissors - didn't work too well. Then I tried using small really sharp scissors - worked, but took much longer than it should have. In any case, much of my afternoon went to that. And before he got home, there was J. Some days she wakes up from her nap and is fine, just wants to sit with me for a few minutes and then she's off. Yesterday she woke up but couldn't really stop crying. She wanted to be held nonstop, but didn't want me to sit or lay down. Or breathe. Or touch her - but don't put her down! Aaaargh. In any case, I still have a heck of a to do list for today.

After I drop the boys off this morning, J and I are running to A.C. Moore to get foam board or poster board so I can make them both hamantaschen costumes (three-sided Purim cookies) for their Preschool Purim carnival at 11. I'll have to arrive a little early for that to bring the costumes in. I also want to get supplies to make a "Get up and go" chart like I saw on Super Nanny Monday night. I love that show, for the most part. If nothing else, I get good ideas from it. Hopefully I'll have some time when I'm done making the costumes to get something else on my list done this morning, but probably not, especially since I still need to throw dinner into the crockpot.

Shifting norms

I got up/showered and dressed before the kids got up today. Makes SUCH a huge difference! I have a long list on the white board (which is on the inside door of my new computer armoire - for which A has figured out how to pick the lock) of all I want to do, my goal being to spend fifteen minutes doing each. I'm allowing myself a moment right now because I just got everyone down for naps/quiet time and the clothes are fluffing, almost ready to be folded. It is a pretty big list. Let's see: 18 items, fifteen minutes each, plus time for a five minute break in between (or a fifteen minute break after three) - I can do it, especially since DH will be home at a normal time tonight.

Talked to someone yesterday about our ER trip with J. I know for some people taking your child to the ER must be terrifying. It was for us the first couple times we had to bring B in, when he was around 10 months old. It was especially scary for me because DH was out of town and I was alone with the boys, trying to figure out what to do for this child who was struggling and working so hard for each breath. That first time I took him in he was admitted over night. I had to make the amazingly hard decision NOT to tell DH about B being sick because he was stuck at conference far away with no way to get back. If I told him, he would just be very worried with nothing to do about it, which is not good. If he was closer and could have gotten home, or if it had been life threatening, of course I would have told him, but he wasn't and while it was serious, B was not going to die from this. Since that first trip with B we have gone to the hospital with both B and J so many time I have honestly lost count. It's kind of strange when your norm shifts, so that going to the ER is no big deal. I was talking to another parent at the boys' school whose younger son has many feeding issues and has to be hospitalized often. She was describing her week to me, that they had just come from the hospital because he was there for the last two days - she said it in such an off-handed way, like it was just a commonplace thing, and I realized that it was commonplace - it was normal for them. Just like traveling to the ER every month or so to get the kids' pulse ox checked or to get a chest x-ray, it's normal for us.

That's it for today. Not very profound, just thinking about our last hospital visit. . . and all that I now have to do.

Returning to the Land of the Living

So let's see . . .
Friday was my bad mommy day. J woke up with a cold. I was feeling rushed and wanted to get out the door, so I ignored the fact that she was coughing a little and did not do a nebulizer treatment. Not a good idea for a kid with Reactive Airway Disease. DS volunteered to take her for the morning (woohoo) so I didn't see her again until 12. By then she was already wheezing and retracting (her ribs were apparent with every breath she took, meaning she was working really hard to breathe). I quickly did a treatment, but it was really too late. I tried another one two hours later (as opposed to four, like we would usually do) since she wasn't responding, but that one didn't work either. We ended up at the ER around 5:30 and stayed until 12:30. If I could have done that day over again, I would have 1) done a treatment at the first sign of a cough, since I know it can get out of hand so fast, 2) picked up dinner on our way to the ER, since we know there's always a long wait, 3) only given J a little bit of her dinner that I picked up from the cafeteria there, since she hadn't eaten in a while and I wasn't sure how she'd react to a lot of food, 4) packed a lightweight sleeper for J to change into, because when she threw up her entire dinner all over herself in the waiting room, I didn't want to put her in a winter sleeper for the rest of our time there since she was running a fever, 5) packed her pacifier, since she doesn't go to sleep without it and it would have really helped by the time we were over three hours past her bedtime and she STILL had not fallen asleep, 6) bought water to drink instead of the two sodas I had since they eneded up keeping me awake very long into the night. Okay, that's about all. Live and learn.

The next day I was very tired (staying up until 3 will do that). I made it to the Mothers of Multiples used clothing/equipments sale and bought a lot of great stuff for the kids. By the time I got home DH had to leave for the rest of the day. Soon after I gave the kids lunch I developed the stomach bug and had to keep running to the bathroom. Yuck. And when I was not in dire need of the toilet, my stomach cramped and cramped very painfully. I finally took all the kids out to the yard (gotta love fenced in yards) and let them play while I sat in a chair. Had a lot that I had wanted to do, but it had to wait. DH returned at 5, I headed upstairs.

Sunday I had to work at the Purim Carnival at the synagogue. Still not on real food yet, but working the preschool game room. It was fun! When I was finished there, I went home, planning to clean the house but instead camped out on the couch (or in the bathroom). Fun.

I believe I accidentally missed taking my medication on Sunday, because I woke up today VERY dizzy. Stomach didn't feel too great either, but the dizziness was what was killing me. Took it easy as much as I could today, taking J to a program at the library after dropping the boys off at school. J played, I sat. After lunch, DN-A and J napped, the boys watched tv, I laid on the couch. DH got home early and I got to rest upstairs. I started feeling well enough to go out a little, so managed to run a couple errands. Nice to be returning to the land of the living!

Getting the day going!

My morning plans got cancelled, my afternoon plans fell through - we are left with a day with absolutely nothing to do. Wow. That hasn't happened in a really long time. I almost messed it up by rushing us out the door to a story hour, but changed my mind at the last minute. It's nice to have a day at home every once in while. I have already done two loads of laundry, and a third is in the dryer and a fourth is in the washer. Haven't done too much more than that, so really have to get cracking so the day is not wasted!

Had a great time last night at our Mother's and More meeting. Three of us talked about our crafts. I don't usually think of scrapbooking as a craft, but it is. It was fun talking about it with people who were interested, not just people who look at me like I have too much time on my hands. And I got to show them how to scrap on a budget, something I think I'm an expert on.

Have I mentioned that while A still has not peed one drop on the potty, J is now on her third day wearing big girl underpants and has successfully finally managed to poop in the toilet? The baby step we're working on right now with A is for him to be able to recognize when he pees in his diaper. We have a tissue in there for him to feel the wetness. He was able to do it twice yesterday, but has not yet today. Sigh.

Potty training

This potty training thing is really hard for A. J seemed to catch on really quickly, in a day, and is now wearing underpants. She had two accidents yesterday, but that's not that bad! With A we're working on small goals - baby steps. This week our goal is to get him to recognize when he goes in his diaper. I have a tissue in there so he'll feel the wetness. This morning he announced during breakfast that he peed! This was the first time he told me he did and actually got it right. I'm so excited for him. I know it's frustrating for him, too. I have all his paperwork filled out and am just waiting for his teacher to fill out her form, then I can send it all in to the IU. I found out they have forty days to begin evaluating from when they receive the paperwork, so can't wait to get that started! I'll be really interested to see if they find out anything, or are able to give me some strategies for working with him.

Hebrew School

Still don't know why my site is screwed up, but oh well.

Had a frustrating Hebrew School class last night. I teach Resource Room, which is for both kids that have some kind of problem making it tough for them to learn a new language, or kids that come to school half-way through the year, or kids that are starting to learn Hebrew but are a lot older than the other kids in the beginner class, or kids that know a lot of Hebrew but are a lot younger than the other kids in the other classes. I have seven kids. Two are beginners that started a couple weeks ago and are now on the same level as each other. They both are learning the language quickly and are hard workers. Then I have three kids that are officially at the second level, but two have reading disabilities and the other is having a real tough time retaining stuff too, so all three of them are requiring a lot of my attention, and I'm constantly trying to come up with good strategies for them to retain what we have already done, even if it's just the sounds that all the letters and vowels make. Then I have one who is at the third level. He seems to know the Hebrew alphabet well, but is not inclined to work too hard. If I don't really watch him he could just stare off into space the whole time. My other student is officially also at that level, but has a tough time remembering the sounds of the alphabet so needs a lot of review. Basically, seven kids at four different levels. I have insisted that I now have an aide full time, but since the additional students have joined us gradually, and the aide only started yesterday, I haven't figured out how to make it all work. It's very frustrating. DH told me last night that the problem is that I'm a trained teacher, that most other people would just give the kids a bunch of busy work for them to work on in order to be able to work with each group. I can't do that - they're only with me for an hour and a half! I left class yesterday so frustrated, knowing that I didn't spend enough time with each group, and that some of the kids had to wait longer than I wanted. Apparently some of the kids thought that as well.

As I was getting ready to leave, one of the moms of the two sisters with reading problems came back. She said she was half-way home when she just had to turn around and come back. The girls had been complaining since they got in the car. They both were saying that I yelled at them (!) and had told them they couldn't ask questions anymore, that they should just know it by now. The mom believed that I didn't act this way, but I couldn't believe that both of them had this perception of me. Those of you that have seen me with kids know that I'm one of the most sensitive teachers around. At least, I feel this way. I've had too many rough experiences growing up to not be super-sensitive about everything I say. So just knowing that these girls felt this way was killing me! The girls also were complaining that we got a new kid every week, that we now had 11 kids (we have seven, but I understand the feeling) and that all they do is wait. I thanked her repeatedly for sharing all this with me, and told her to explain to the girls how frustrated I was as well and that next week will be a lot better. And then I went home and worked on it for the next two hours.

The problem was that no matter how I cut it, I wanted to start each group with some kind of direct instruction, teaching them something new, but there's no way I can do that with essentially three different classes. I finally came up with a basic plan that has me breaking the class into fifteen minute increments (something I normally do with any class because really, who can focus well for more than fifteen minutes?). During the first fifteen minutes I'm going to have the first two levels do a review game using magnetic letters with my aide. During that time, I'll work with the kids in the third level. When the timer goes off, those kids will begin doing independent work as a review/reinforcement for what they just learned with me. I will take the second level kids and give them direct instruction while my aide supervises a more in-depth review activity for the first level kids. During the next segment, I will provide direct instruction to the first level kids while the third level kids start a project/game and the second level kids do some independent work to reinforce what they just learned.

The other problem is that those kids in the middle, the three at second level, clearly are having a tough time. I know the girls have a lot of trouble reading English, so it's tough for them to work on their own. For next class, they're going to make flashcards for each of the words in the new prayer they're going to start learning. I'm going to provide them with the Hebrew AND the transliteration (the English letters for the Hebrew sounds) so they can match them up and then glue them to either side of the card. Definitely a meaningful activity, one that should make them feel good about what they're learning instead of frustrated as I'm sure they normally feel.

And I'll try to end each class with a game, asking each kid questions on their own level. I want them to enjoy coming to school. Hopefully this helps!

Help!

Aaargh! Messed up the site and I don't know how to fix it!!!
For some reason, the profile and links that used to be on the side are now at the bottom. I tried fixing it by going into the template and physically cutting and pasting it, but that only put them on top of all my posts. Then I decided changing my entire template might put it back to normal but it didn't! I don't know what to do. If anyone knows how I can fix this, PLEASE let me know!

Blog comments, potty training, and delegation

I love getting comments on my blog. It's so nice to know that people are actually reading what I have to say. But it feels like it's always the same couple of people (who I GREATLY appreciate) and I wanted to see if I could widen my readership (is that even a word?!!). So today I went through the list of blogs I check in with daily and made an effort to comment on almost everyone. (Nancy and Karin, don't be offended - I comment on yours all the time!) Thank you for the additional comments on yesterday's post - made me feel great, even while my son is frustrating me to know end.

A couple friends suggesting just sticking him in underwear and see if he reacts more when he's wet. As soon as I'm done, I'm going to try that. Let's see how that works. Someone mentioned to me last night that there are two women who you can pay to come in and potty train your child. They charge $200 and guarentee their results. Am I wrong for wanting to hire them? I'd GLADLY pay the full $200 if it would really work. I don't quite see how they could guarentee it, but I'd be willing to find out!

I'm president of my MOMS Club, and have been feeling terribly overwhelmed and like I'm letting everything slip through the cracks recently. So I'm trying to find ways to delegate even more. I just came up with a way to delegate a lot of the responsiblities with the newsletter. We discussed it last night at the Board meeting and then I sent out an e-mail to everyone involved to make sure we're all on the same page. I even made sure that our new secretary is now in charge if someone doesn't receive a copy for some reason, and the editor (who will now be in charge of sending it out via e-mail to the members who choose to receive it that way) is in charge of helping members who can't open the attachment. She was even going to cc me the e-mail when she sends it to the printer (used to be my job, but didn't need to be) and at first I agreed but then I realized that I don't need to be in the middle of this, so told her to cc the new secretary. I'm learning. I have an idea to delegate another aspect of the job, but that Board member wasn't at the meeting to discuss it with her. I hate using the telephone, and e-mailing her always is weird as none of her personality/voice comes through in her e-mails, always leaving me feeling like I offended her in some way. Hmmmm...maybe I'll see her soon and can just discuss it with her in person. I know, I'm a wimp, but it would make it easier if I could actually see her face while I'm discussing it with her. It's always much easier to "read" someone that way. I guess that's why I prefer it so much over using the telephone. It's too easy for the other person to say one thing and mean another when you can't see their face or read their body language.

I'm off to start transferring all my household files into my new-to-me hanging file folders (thanks, Karin!). I get way too excited about the idea of reorganizing files.

My week

Wow - I haven't checked in for a few days - that's not like me.
Keeping this computer armoire locked all the time so A doesn't touch the computer seems to be helping me not be on the computer so much, which is probably a good thing.

The boys turned four on Tuesday. We spent the morning at the Please Touch Museum (thanks, Aunt J!), ate lunch in the car on the way home, had naps (the boys fell asleep and stayed asleep for another half hour or so in the car once we got home), went to a playdate, had everyone over for dinner and cake and presents. Whew! It was a long day!!! Yesterday we celebrated my dad's "un-birthday" (he's a leap year baby) - in the card I wrote for him I told him that I know that this is just another ordinary day, but 70 years ago, around this time, he was born, and we're all very happy about it. We all chipped in and got him a snow blower. His comment when he saw it is that it's not really a gift for him, is it! DH and my brother-in-law have had to go over each snow storm for awhile now and shovel out his driveway and sidewalk so he doesn't take upon himself to do it. When DH heard what we were getting him he was almost giddy.

And today was my very last Mom's Morning Out! One girl never showed (she only came once a week for this final session - two months), one girl had already started her "big girl school", so we only had one boy with us today. I just read a book about a woman's experience running a home day care from 9-5. She did it with her sister. I don't know - doing it full time sounds tough. Doing it for half a day seems more plausible, but I guess if I were to ever consider doing that it would have to be full time. Doesn't matter, I'm thrilled MMO is done for awhile. It a great source of income when we needed it, but since we don't desparately need it right now, I'm thankful to be done.

Yesterday afternoon we began a more intensive, though relatively laid back, form of potty training for A and J. I wasn't planning to do J, too, but she's very interested, so couldn't stop her. At home, they have been naked from the waist down, encouraged to sit on the potty as much as they want. That first afternoon, J peed five times on the potty! A held it in for four hours, then peed in a diaper during the five minute drive to my parents. Even there we got him naked again, but he just seems too anxious to do it. I even put the diaper on the potty for him to sit in, but that didn't work. Finally today I decided that when he needs to pee or poop, he just had to tell me and I'd put a diaper on him. If he managed to pee in the diaper then, he'd get an m&m. It took him all morning holding it in, but he finally did it right after lunch!!! I figure we'll continue like this as much as possible for the next few days and then transition into sitting on the potty in the diaper when he has to pee/poop. Slow going, but I've never seen a kid more uncomfortable about going on the toilet or the potty. Hopefully this gradual transition will do the trick. PLEASE any suggestions, offer them!